Ask Kernel and Friends!

incorrect quotes while waiting for comments

funnily enough most of this is me being chaotic

Kernel: I saw you fall, saw the sinners lay on your corpses...
Soft Drink: Hey, what's up with Kernel?
Kernel: I created you, made the pieces perfect, others marveled at your beauty... their gazes may have held envy, though, for none are perfect but you. I was only looking away for a moment, but you were gone. I had failed you. And I fell into despair. The only way to save myself was to create, but I knew... this time I knew I was only making you to die. And I apologize. For I will undoubtedly fail you again. For a short time, there will be peace and beauty, but none in the face of us shall lay undisturbed. The greatest have fallen, and will continue to fall, and I weep for you for being born unto this place, where brother eats brother, and the undeserving rise to fame. Those that have gone against you know they've wronged you, and they will stand before the creator, knowing they have sinned. Do not worry, little ones, you will be avenged.
Oat: ...She made some rock towers and went somewhere else for twenty minutes and when she came back the rock towers were destroyed and people were sitting where the towers once were, so she was sad and made more rock towers.
Oat, to Kernel: Hey, who even is the creator? I thought you were an atheist!
Kernel: SHUT THE FLAKE UP, OAT! I'M TRYING TO BE DRAMATIC AND MYSTERIOUS!

3D Goggles: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.
Kernel, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

*3D Goggles and Kernel enter a dive bar*
3D Goggles: Look, I know you're disappointed but could we at least have a drink.
Kernel, in a scuba diving suit: I would like leave, please.

Helper: What are you two arguing about this time?
Sour Gummy: She's always using common phrases incorrectly!
Kernel: Cry me a table, Sour Gummy.

Kernel: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.
Oat, used to Kernel being dumb: Sure...
Kernel: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Oat: Okay?
Kernel: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.
Oat:
Kernel: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-
Oat: Jesus, that one is a little-
Shardy, interested: No, no, Kernel, keep going.

*Barley rushes by with an armful of water bottles*
Oat: What's going on?
Choco Chip: Barley wouldn't drink water.
Oat: ...And?
Choco Chip: And I asked them how fast they could chug an entire bottle.
Barley, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, B****ES!

Kernel: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.
Barley: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.
Sour Gummy: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.
Barley: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.

Rye: Get your hand off my shield!
Kernel: There's like a million other shields.
Rye: Take that one, it has a flower on it. Girls like flowers.
Kernel: *hits Rye with the shield* Oops! Now this one has blood on it.

Wheat: I need life advice.
Kernel, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.