Backup Girl [Tom Hiddleston] {EBT book 2/4}

Goodbyes

Kate let the hot water wash over her and soothe the pain. She was still fuming when she turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her and using another one to dry her hair. As she started applying her makeup she noticed Tom standing in the doorway. "Give me 5 minutes and you can have the bathroom." She said, her words clipped.
"I don't need the bathroom, I had a shower before I left."
"I'll take my time then." She was still too angry to look at him, he watched for a few moments and decided to give her some space.
Tom dressed in a navy suit and crisp white shirt and went to the fridge for a beer, taking it outside to watch the sunset paint the sky orange and pink. Just when he was starting to wonder about Kate he heard he heels on the tiles and turned to see her in the kitchen, getting her phone from the bench. She was wearing the blue Chanel dress with black pumps and looked so beautiful he couldn't tear his eyes away. He walked to her, but as he got close she pulled away. "Don't touch me, I'm still mad at you." He looked at her, surprise and hurt spreading over his face. "You know with a bit more force you probably would have crushed something. It takes less force than you think."
Realisation hit Tom like a sledge hammer in the guts, he clapped his hand over his mouth and flopped in to one of the kitchen stools. "Kate," he breathed shakily. "Oh my sweet precious-"
"Don't. Please."
Tom opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to think of the right words. There weren't any. He sat in silence, Kate stayed in front of him in the kitchen, taking a couple of swigs of his beer before going to get her bag. When the car arrived they walked in silence, they sat in silence and she kept her hands in her lap. How the hell was he going to fix this?
They reached the restaurant and Kate was relieved to be seated next to Mia. At least she wouldn't have to eat in silence.
A couple of drinks later they were talking and laughing like old friends, and when music started playing Mia dragged her to the small dance floor. It wasn't long before Tom had slipped in to her place with a word in Mia's ear. "Please look at me darling."
"No, I won't. Your eyes make me melt and I'm too angry." She suddenly realised she sounded like a 5 year old and almost giggled.
"Darling I need to know if you're OK." He was keeping his right hand away from her side, instead holding her hand. "I didn't meant to hurt you."
She snapped her eyes up to his. "Yes, Tom, you did. That's exactly what you meant to do. Prove your point by hurting me."
He sighed. "You're right, I did. But I promise you I meant for you to admit you'd hurt yourself, or perhaps squeak at me. I never ever would have caused you that much pain intentionally."
"Well you did. I'm not your average girl Tom. We've talked about this. You can't just do something like that without thinking."
"I know, I didn't think and I'm -"
"If you apologise again I'm going to scream. Just don't. I need some air."
Because it was cold the terrace was empty, and Kate closed the door quietly behind her hoping no one had seen her escape. God that was such a stupid thing to do and she was so angry with him. How could he not know that would hurt? Leaning on the railing she took a few deep breaths, knowing she'd have to go inside shortly.
Tom was at the bar when Susie came over looking for Kate. Seeing the solemn expression on his face she asked if he was OK.
"I don't know. I fucked up. She went running when she wasn't supposed to and then lied about being in pain. So without thinking I squeezed her ribs. And I hurt her, pretty badly I think. How could I be so fucking stupid?" Susie looked horrified.
"I know you didn't mean to hurt her and she probably knows that too. She'll come around. Can I talk to her?"
"Only if she doesn't mind. I'm not even allowed to apologise, it just makes her angry."
"What do you think the first thing she always heard before 'but you deserved it' was?"
"Argh what have I done?"
"Have a drink, I'll go talk to her."
Kate heard the door open softly behind her and guessed it was Tom. She had been about to go and find him. Turning around, she was surprised to see Susie, his makeup artist. "Oh, hi. Sorry I thought you were Tom."
"He's at the bar feeling a bit sorry for himself. And feeling like a dickhead." Kate laughed softly. "I know what you've been through, Kate. What you're doing is very brave."
"Yeah people keep telling me that. But I was so much better off before, I'm not so sure. I feel like I have multiple personalities - confident musician Kate and emotionally fucked up Kate. I still think he's better off without me, he has no idea what he's in for."
"Kate, he's not. He loves you so much. I'm not going to tell you he's sorry and all that, you already know that. He just doesn't know what else to say."
"There's nothing he can say, that's the problem." Susie put a hand on her shoulder. "I really need to go and find him, this isn't his fault. Thank you for checking on me."

Kate found Tom, leaning in the corner drinking his scotch and failing miserably at being invisible. Kate walked over and put her arms around him and the few people around him dispersed. He kissed the top of her head.
"I know you're sorry, and I know you didn't mean to hurt me. You didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't have been running."
"Are you OK? Physically I mean?"
"I think so. Honestly I think it was just running and then stretching way further than I should have."
"You look amazing tonight. I didn't get to tell you."
She pulled away and looked up at him, kissing his lips gently. "So do you. I love you."
"I love you too gorgeous. Let's eat."

At the end of the night they said their goodbyes and got in the car. The silence on the way home was at least a comfortable one, and Tom stroked Kate's hand softly. Kate undressed and laid her dress on the top of her suitcase, it was the last thing she had left to pack. Tom's bag was already at the door ready to go. As she fell asleep in Tom's arms, she wondered what the next few weeks would bring. She was going to need every ounce of strength she had, and she wasn't even sure that would be enough.
Tom watched Kate fall asleep, listening to her even breathing. He was saddened that someone as strong as Kate could be so easily distressed. Some days lately were like a minefield, he never knew which step might trigger something. All he could do was be there, comfort her and try not to say or do the wrong thing. Somehow that just didn't feel like enough.