Nick and Charlies intimacy struggles. Heartstopper

Nick takes Charlies jumper off

Nick and Charlie were making out on Nicks bed, his mum had gone shopping so they had some time to themselves. when Charlie came up for air Nick took the opportunity to pull of his shirt and throw it aside. Charlie made an appreciative noise as he ran his hands over Nicks torso.

As they continued to kiss nicks hands slid down Charlies back and came to rest on his hips. nick hooked a finger under the hem of Charlies jumper, caressing Charlies skin with a fingertip.

"can I?" nick asked, tugging at Charlies jumper wanting it to be gone.

"ok." Charlie nodded nervously.

Nick only lifted the jumper a few inches before he stopped. Charlie had completely locked up, going stiff and immobile. "what's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm sorry." Charlie whimpered. "I cant. You took yours off so I should too. But I just cant."

"Hey its ok." nick hugged him. "Do you want to talk about it?" Nick asked.

"Its not that I don't want to. I really do want to take it off when I'm with you. its just I get really self conscious." Charlie explained. Nick had noticed how in the locker room Charlie always changed so quickly. "I'm worried you'll find me disgusting. I cant even look at myself in the mirror."

"I wont. I don't." Nick tried to reassure him. "Your beautiful, Charlie"

Charlie chuckled, but nick put his hand on Charlies cheek and looked into his eyes.

"I'm serious. you are beautiful. I want to see you, feel you."

Hesitantly Charlie took one of nicks hands and slipped it under his jumper, letting nick touch him. They both closed their eyes enjoying the feeling.

"I think if you kept you eyes closed." Charlie suggested. Nick nodded, squeezing his eyes firmly shut. Charlie took off his jumper and the two of them resumed kissing.

Over time the days when Charlie was comfortable taking his clothes off increased in frequency. Together the two of them worked out a system. It helped Charlie to know nick wanted him, it countered the bad thoughts and boosted his confidence. Charlie also preferred nick pulling off the jumper, he often couldn't work up the nerve to do it himself (even though he wanted to).

Nick learned how to read his boyfriend very well. He could tell when Charlie was stressed or having a bad day, In which case his hands would stay up on Charlie's face and arms. But nick could also tell when Charlie wanted to, when he was exited and enthusiastic. 

Nick was especially wary when sliding his hands down Charlie's back. If Charlie froze or seemed uncomfortable nick would stop. But a lot of the time it was hard to tell if the twitches were excitement or nerves. The two were hard to tell apart and often Charlie felt both.

Nick was over cautious and had stopped a lot of times when Charlie didn't want him to. Sometimes Charlie guided nicks hands down if they had stopped or never descended. If nicks hands did reach the bottom of Charlies jumper he would look to his boyfriend for consent in the form of a nod.

Although Charlie would sometimes remove his own shirt he still preferred nick to initiate. It was just easier for nick to do it than for Charlie to battle through his insecurity's.

Although as Charlie grew in confidence he had become frustrated with nicks hyper cautious approach. He had taken to whispering in nicks ear "take my bloody jumper off" nick was only to happy to oblige.