Nick and Charlies intimacy struggles. Heartstopper

The nightmare

Ben shoved Charlie up against the wall. Panic surged through Charlie, overwhelming him. He fought back but Ben was too strong. He was trapped by the much stronger boy. He couldn't move, couldn't breath, hot tears streamed down his face. He felt like he was drowning in cement, he tried to scream but no sound came out.

"Charlie!" Nick was calling to him. Charlie followed the sound of that voice, clawing his way out of the back pit of the nightmare. As he awoke he gasped in air like someone bursting out of water.

He was lying in bed with nick, the duvet tanged around them. Nick had Charlie wrapped up in a bear hug completely immobilising him. He was reminded of how small and skinny he was in comparison to his rugby boyfriend.

It took a moment for Charlie to realise that nick was restraining him, it was frightening to see how easily nick could do it, how strong he was. He had literally just put his arms around Charlie and held them there. Charlie had been fighting with all his strength and nick hadn't even broken a sweat.

One of nicks hands was around each of his wrists. The grip seemed impossibly strong, like a vice, nick could crack walnuts in his hand while  Charlies wrist was bony and fragile; nick could probably snap it like a twig.

Nicks body was usually soft and comforting, but now his muscles were tense it felt like metal. The limbs were bars of an iron cage imprisoning him.

"Please let go!" Charlie begged. the nightmare hadn't fully evaporated in his panic he didn't know if he was talking to Ben or nick.

"Charlie your safe. calm down." Nick was saying to him.

That voice soothed Charlie enough to stop struggling. "Nick let me go." He demanded.

At the use of his name nick realised that Charlie was awake. He immediately released his boyfriend. Charlie fell out of bed, breathing heavily.

"What are you doing?" Charlie demanded, backing away.

"I woke up and you were hurting yourself." Nick explained. "You must have been having a nightmare, I didn't know what else to do so I held you. Are you ok?"

"Yhea. it was just the, dream about ben." Charlie replied as he caught his breath. It was then he noticed the blood on nicks forearm. Deep scratches and there was blood under Charlies fingernails.

"Oh my god, did I do that to you? I'm so sorry."

"Its fine, I get way worse scrapes on the rugby pitch all the time." Nick replied, barely noticing.