Sugar on Top: Confessions of a 43-Year-Old Sugar Baby

Be Grateful for the Attention Your First Day as a Sugar Baby 'Cuz It Won't Last

As I mentioned in the previous chapter, when I first began my sugar dating journey, I lied about my age. I did this because I was afraid that, at 43, I was simply too old to become a sugar baby.

I believed this because when I first tried to create a profile on one popular sugar dating website, my account was rejected. Of course, I don't know the real reason for this, but I worried that it was because of my age. Maybe I was just too old to become a sugar baby. The site wouldn't greenlight any sugar baby over the ripe old age of 30.

What did I know? I was a novice in this world. Plus, I was quite insecure at the time. Recently divorced, I was depressed and broke. I wasn't in my best form. 

Still, I wanted to make a go at this sugar-dating thing. I decided to post a profile on a different website, and this time I lied about my age. I said I was 35. It worked. My account was accepted. And once my profile was live, boy was I in for a shock. 

I had only just received the notification that my profile was up and visible when the messages began to come through. I didn't just receive one message from a potential sugar daddy — I received many.

My profile went live in the morning. All morning long, the messages continued to pour into my inbox. Picture me throwing a little bait into the lake and a bunch of fish rushing to bite. 

The sugar daddy fish in the sugar sea saw there was a tasty new morsel to feed on. I was the fresh meat.

Or envision a zoo keeper throwing a raw steak into a cage of tigers. These dudes were all fighting for my interest. I basked in it. 

Feminist I may be, but I didn't care that I was being objectified. So don't complain that I'm literally comparing myself to raw meat. I felt turned on by all the attention.

I should also explain what kind of headspace I was in at that moment in my life. I spent my days in a constant state of arousal. 

I was recently divorced after a marriage that was all but sexless at the end. I was emerging from a period during which I'd felt incredibly sexually deprived.

To survive my marriage, I'd had to suppress my sexual urges. Now that I'd finally left my husband, all my desire came rushing back as a tsunami of need. I felt like a walking "blue vulva"—hungry to be satisfied. So, I loved all this interest from men. 

I was excited to choose who I was going to have sex with. Luckily, I wasn't busy with anything else on that first day on the site. I spent the morning and afternoon answering messages and talking to prospective sugar daddies on the phone. 

I believed I'd continue to receive offers to meet at the same rate. I'd wake up every morning and encounter an inbox overflowing with messages.

But then tomorrow came. I woke up and opened my inbox. I had very few new messages.

In the coming days, such requests dwindled down to nothing. I figured out that the sugar daddies on the site receive an alert when a new sugar baby creates a profile. Then it's "new girl syndrome." Everyone wants to meet the new gal. 

They get sick of seeing the same faces. Maybe they've already talked to and even met a lot of the women in their area. They were excited by the new prospect.

I get it. I just didn't know how quickly I'd become just another one of the girls.

There are four times as many women on these sites. So if you're aiming to become a sugar baby, make sure you're free the first day your profile goes live. Answer all the messages you receive. You don't have to meet every guy, but at least be open to considering them. You never know who you'll click with.

In short, don't be too picky because the attention won't last.

Once it ends, you'll be just another one of the regulars, left to fight with a bunch of other women over a limited number of men.

The moral of the story: be grateful for the messages you receive that first day.