Sugar on Top: Confessions of a 43-Year-Old Sugar Baby

Sexting With My Sugar Daddies Was a Hot Gift I Gave for Free

"Lay on your belly on the bed," Amir wrote. "Spread your legs. I'm standing behind you."

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine this 60-year-old man—my new potential sugar daddy—behind me with his hard cock out.

I was alone in my apartment and he was at his house. We had not yet met—we hadn't even talked on the phone. This was my first time texting with him but our chat quickly took a jump into the sexual zone.

Sexting right now with Amir was definitely making me hot and bothered enough that I wanted to meet him sooner than later. I loved the things he was writing me. He was making me incredibly wet.

I was happy that I'd decided to make my sugar-baby fantasy a reality. Still, I had yet to meet a single one of the men who were contacting me. But I was quickly learning that sexting was a great way for a potential sugar baby and daddy to get excited enough to make their relationship real.

But of course, being a sugar baby is about receiving financial gifts for dating a man. Did I ask for money to sext with Amir?

Absolutely not.

If you're a sugar baby, expect to sext a lot for free. If you're asking for money to sext, that's sex work.

Nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying it like it is.

Amir continued to sext me that first day we connected. "I'm squirting lube onto your ass. But only on top of the cheeks," he wrote.

I loved hearing this as I have a serious ass fetish. I love to have my butt played with.

"Now I'm dragging my dick up and down between your cheeks and making you beg me to nudge it closer to your asshole."

As he wrote this, I furiously masturbated myself. I begged him through text to penetrate me.

"When I finally do, I just circle the tip of my dick around on your anus. You rise up to meet me."

I pushed my butt up into the air, bucking my hips, wishing we were actually in the same room together. Swirling my fingertip around on the outside of my asshole, I couldn't believe what a tease Amir was.

"You're trying to push yourself back onto my dick," he wrote. "I don't let you. But if you're a good girl, I will put the tip of my dick inside your ass."

Mmmmmm.... I could be very good.

"And if you're really good, I will thrust slightly into you."

Please, give it to me!

"And if you're very, very good, I will let you push yourself back on my cock so it's entered inside you to the hilt."

Oh my God! Yes!

"And then I will slowly but surely begin to fuck you, quickening my thrusts until I cum ropes of jizz inside you."

I came so hard when he wrote that. This was amazing! We hadn't even been to bed yet, and already he was getting me this turned on.

This was hot!

But like I said, as a sugar baby, only when (and if) we met, would I see any money.

Sexting with my sugar daddies was a gift I gave for free.

***

How is sugar dating different than "traditional dating"?

Sugar dating is definitely different than traditional dating. In the traditional dating sphere, a man might pay for dinner, but he doesn't actually pay the woman for the date. There's no envelope full of hundreds left on top of her dresser after they fuck.

That said, people who traditionally date also sext. According to a study published in the journal Sexual Health in 2016, 21% of over 50,000 respondents reported having sent a sext before, and 28% reported having received one.

These were people aged between 21 and 75 years old. That's a pretty wide swathe of adults interviewed.

I'd say that percentage of people who sext is much higher on a sugar-dating website. Discussions of sex are front and center, though you can't publicize anything overtly sexual in your profile. No, that would look too much like sex work. Sugar-dating websites don't want escorts on them and they are constantly trying to flush them out and remove their profiles.

But still, once you do start talking to a potential sugar daddy, sexting is a great way to build arousal so a man will want to meet you. Sexting creates excitement so the sugar daddy and baby will both desire to enter into a relationship that may have future financial benefits for a woman.

But sexting before you meet is still something a sugar baby will do for free.

***

Sugar dating vs. sex work.

Please don't get me wrong: I'm not putting down getting paid for sexting. There are a lot of ways that a woman can get paid just for that.

She can present herself on Twitter as someone who loves to sext, and men will send her money via Venmo, CashApp, or any other person-to-person payment app.

She can ask to be "tributed" for sexting through other adult platforms where she may have her adult content posted.

There are also platforms that exist exactly for sexting, such as SextPanther, where a provider sets the price for each text sent, or NiteFlirt where the price is set for her.

But if you're a sugar baby, the assumption is that you won't get paid for sexting.

***

Is sugar dating sex work?

This leads us to the question of whether sugar dating is sex work. Ultimately the answer to that question is it depends on who you ask.

Sugar dating is different than sex work in that sex work is much more transactional. That doesn't mean that the client and the provider don't ever feel something for one another or share actual passion. But sex work is usually something that goes down at an hourly rate.

Sugar babies also make money by going on dates with men but how they get paid is much more nebulous. Someone who looks at this literally may say that sugar dating is sex work. Money is exchanging hands, after all. But a lot of sugar-dating enthusiasts will say that's not the case.

***

How payments work for sugar dating. 

As I was spending time talking to potential sugar daddies, I was learning how payments worked. Some men offer "pay-for-play," which means they give their sugar baby a specific amount of money for each date. (That's the most similar option to sex work.)

Other men offer to pay your bills, but only after you've established a relationship. And some guys just offer stays in nice hotels with them. (I will explain all this in a future chapter.)

But as I said, you're typically not going to receive a financial gift before you meet.

Sure, one sugar daddy (whom I never met) told me that a couple of women asked him to wire money and then ghosted him.

Most men won't agree to that though (for the aforementioned reason). So you've got to get them excited enough to meet you (to pay you then), and sexting is a great way to do that.

Luckily, I found sexting with these men to be really hot. I certainly did with Amir.

Sadly, we never did end up meeting. But at least we had this spicy sext session. I was grateful for that.