Sugar on Top: Confessions of a 43-Year-Old Sugar Baby

My Sugar Daddy Paid Me $500 for Sex Even Though He Had Erectile Dysfunction

The thing about being a 43-year-old sugar baby is that you can be assured that most of your sugar daddies will still be much older than you. The median age of the typical sugar daddy I met was 60. As such, my sugar daddy Michael, 78, was still older than me.

Yup—even at 43 I was still considered a spring chicken. This was true even though I had more than a couple of crows' feet and hardly a perfectly flat belly (I was perimenopausal). I had my share of cellulite on the backs of my thighs. If Michael noticed, he never complained.

Please hear me out: I'm not trying to gross you out by portraying myself as some old hag, nor do I want to come off as self-hating, like I see myself as the sum total of my looks (or lack thereof). I considered (and still consider) myself to be a beautiful woman, just a middle-aged one.

And still, we live in the society that we do. Women are judged by our looks. The older we get, the uglier we perceive ourselves to be. If that wasn't true, there wouldn't be a plastic surgery industry.

But on with the story of Michael. He still thought it was a treat to meet me, even at my age. Well, he did think I was 35 (more on that later). But alas, the man still told me he was dying to have sex with me even if I wasn't the age of the typical sugar baby.

The only problem was, when we tried to have sex, his penis couldn't get hard.

***

Michael had been married once, unhappily. His marriage, for the most part, was sexless. By the time he left his wife, he was seventy. He hadn't had sex with a woman in twenty years.

He met with another sugar baby on the same website. They went out once and decided to move in together. The issue was she was married.
Apparently, her marriage was sexless, too.

Perhaps it was a marriage of convenience. Named Svetlana, she was a Russian woman who had wed a man just to get a green card. And yet, she said they were once in love. However, the relationship was no longer romantic. Still, they still lived together. So Michael moved into the house with Svetlana and her husband. Conveniently he paid their bills.

In spite of the strange circumstances, Michael and Svetlana were happy for a while. But then that relationship ended as well. Now 78, Michael was hell-bent on living out his last years in a state of sexual debauchery. That was why he went back to sugar dating.

The problem was that Michael could no longer achieve an erection.

***

I didn't know about Michael's impotency when we met. He was one of the first men who contacted me on the sugar dating platform. He invited me for lunch so we could get to know each other better. Well, so he could decide if he wanted to pay me for sex or not.

Oh, please don't act offended. Did you not realize that sugar dating is sex work? (More on that as well.)
But clearly, Michael was happy with me because over crab legs and Pinot Grigio at a beautiful restaurant he talked about how excited he was to go to bed with me and pay me $500.

He made no mention of his erectile dysfunction.

***

After lunch, we went back to his place. We undressed and fell into bed together. Everything was perfect — the music, the lighting, the aroma of the scented candles. Even the condoms were present on his nightstand. There was just one thing missing: his erection.

If you're heading to bed with a new man, by this stage, a guy usually already has a hard penis. This wasn't Michael's case. He was flaccid even as we lay in bed together, nude.

Seeing his penis in such a state sent me diving between his legs. I put his dick in my mouth and began to suck. I sucked and sucked and sucked. Nothing. His penis remained limp.

What was wrong? Did I undress and he decided he didn't like me anymore? What had I done to make him change his mind?

Maybe it was my looks. Those wrinkles. That belly. That cellulite.

Maybe it was my blowjob skills. I'd always thought I gave great head. Maybe I was wrong.

I was really getting worried when he told me the problem.

"Just to let you know, it no longer works," he finally explained. "But I'm enjoying your blowjob anyway."

My fears were allayed. It wasn't me. It was him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. It would have been nice to know about this issue earlier.

"I didn't want to jinx it," he said. "It could suddenly start to work."

He told me he'd wasted years of virility with a woman who didn't want to have sex with him. In a cruel twist of fate, ever since he left her, he hadn't been able to get a hard-on. Not even with Svetlana.
He had paid this woman's bills for years and hadn't even been able to penetrate her.

Now that was over and he wanted to get out there again and have one last hurrah. He wanted a bunch of hot sex with beautiful sugar babies. But his penis no longer got hard.

I already had my envelope with $500 cash in it. That was what he'd given me. But I wondered why he'd paid me if we couldn't even have sex?

As I stroked his limp penis, I had no idea what kind of sensations he was experiencing. What was he getting out of this meeting if he couldn't even get his dick hard?

"My favorite part of sex is lying in bed with you like this," he said.

Then it struck me. Connection was the purpose of our meeting. I'd been judging sex by male standards. If penetration didn't happen, it wasn't sex.

My experience with Michael proved that wasn't true.

He never penetrated me that day, but we certainly had sex. I lay back on the bed and he got on top of me. Intertwining our legs, he began to grind his limp phallus into my vagina. We both closed our eyes.

I heard him moan with pleasure. I enjoyed the sensation of his penis rubbing against my vulva and clitoris. I became wet with the friction.

It was an intoxicating experience. Usually, men are rushing to penetrate me. Instead, Michael teased me delightfully by not doing so.

Finally, he played with my clitoris with his fingers until I came on his hand. I wanted to reciprocate but wasn't sure how. His penis was still limp. I asked him what I could do.

"I'm just happy being here with you," he said.

For Michael, it was enough to experience the sensation of what it could feel like if he penetrated me.

Afterward, we lay in bed together and talked for hours. We discussed anything and everything. He was a great conversationalist, a writer himself.

Sex for us that day wasn't just about feeling aroused in our genitals. We aroused each other on other levels. We aroused each other through all of our senses — through our skin and our minds.

We aroused each other through the intimacy of our closeness. We bonded on a different level. I won't say it was a higher or lower level — it was just different.

***

After our first experience, I never saw Michael again. He wanted us to move in together. I wasn't interested in having a boyfriend — or at least I wasn't interested in a commitment.

I couldn't live with one of my sugar daddies because my kids lived with me. (More on that later, too.) But just know that my desire not to take things further with Michael had nothing to do with his impotence. I left him deeply sexually satisfied that day.

I'll always remember what he taught me: an erect penis isn't necessary for sex to occur. Sex is an experience in the connection between two people. However you achieve that connection is a beautiful thing.

Ironically, it took a sugar daddy to teach me that.