Incendio

The Quibbler: High Inquisitor or Dictator?

-An Exclusive inside Look at What's Really Happening to Hogwarts Students.

By Samantha A. Fyre

"The Ministry will not approve of liars." Said a stout woman in a bright chartreuse coat sitting in an office decorated by loudly purring kittens on porcelain plates. "Liars should be punished, and this of course includes students and faculty. I will stop at nothing to prove faith in the Minister's mission of peace."

Professor Delores Umbridge, the newest Defense Against The Arts Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry sat for an interview with the now former, Editor-In-Chief of the now banned, Hogwarts Gazette.

Unprompted, Umbridge began in a complimentary tone towards the Daily Prophet."If I've learned anything from my wonderful time at the Ministry, one must attend to the press. The Minister has often told me that his relationship with Barnabus Cuffe is one of the most important he has." Professor Umbridge said in a sweet sing song way.

She then went on to explain her choice in Ministry work, "I have always craved order. I believed the best way to help instill order in our world, was to join the Ministry. We keep witches and wizards on track. We keep them on the straight and narrow. We prevent the spoiling of our otherwise perfect world."

When asked why she chose to pursue a teaching position in Defense Against The Dark Arts Professor Umbridge replied; "Well Defense Against The Dark Arts has been taught so irresponsibly, it felt like someone from the Ministry should really step in to make the environment a bit better for children. We need an environment where lies and falsehoods are not spread. No child should feel that they are in danger and they shouldn't be armed in any such way. Why would a child need to use spells for protection? Children need to pass their exams and that's it."

Professor Umbridge certainly put into practice her beliefs about how Defense Against The Dark Arts needed to be taught in schools. In her classroom, students of ever level are expected to sit in silence reading, Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard. The students are instructed to keep their wands away and not to practice any spells. Several students have expressed worry about the complications that could arise from such a teaching method.

Hermione Granger, a fifth year Gryffindor who was approaching her OWL examinations revealed in worry, "How am I to pass my practical OWL if I cannot practically practice any defensive spells?"

"My greatest worry," began second year Ravenclaw, Stewart Ackerley, "Is that if we are attacked, like our classmate Harry Potter was, we won't be able to defend ourselves." 

Professor Umbridge addressed rumors about Voldemort's return,"Children should not be believing anything about a certain Dark Wizard being at large. It is an abomination for our Headmaster to insinuate that the lies being spread by a certain Harry Potter are in fact true.

Anyone caught spreading any kind of information regarding the return of You-Know-Who has been severely punished in detention.

A student, who wishes to remain anonymous, revealed that her punishments were brutal. "I was forced to write lines with a special pen, it used my blood and carved the words into my hand. I worry it will become a permanent scar."

Several other students have come forward confirming her preferred method of discipline. Many of these students have chosen to remain silent about their ordeals. Their silence comes from a fear that their parents may be sacked from Ministry related jobs or that any teacher who offered aid could be forcibly removed.

"The Ministry has made it their mission to reform education and I believe it starts with me. I believe it is my job as a Professor to stamp out the liars who would strike fear." Said Professor Umbridge herself in a boastful tone.

This professor has left many students in fear. Fear of being silenced, fear of being tortured, and fear of the Ministry of Magic has become rampant within the halls of Hogwarts.

-A Note from X. Lovegood.-

 Within a few week of this interview, Professor Umbridge would become the High Inquisitor of Hogwarts. Using her powers as High Inquisitor, the Professor would ban the Hogwarts Gazette in retaliation against the publishing of this very interview. In a few months time, she would seize the position of Headmistress of Hogwarts by force.

This article was bravely written by a fifteen year old Hogwarts student. She asked for this article to be published even though it came at great risk to her. As a father of a young Hogwarts student, I myself am appalled by the treatment of our children. I ask other parents, when is it accepted for our children to live in fear of an abusive teacher?