Eddie Munson imagines

Insecure

*Spoiler warning*
———————————————————————————

Since Eddie had woken up from his coma at the hospital, he'd been very adamant about not wanting you to see his bites - his scars. Every time a nurse would come in to change his bandages and check on them, he would demand you to leave the room. At first, you thought he didn't want you to be grossed out - let's be real, they were really gnarly -, but you realized it was deeper than that when he refused your help to shower, only accepting the old nurse to undress him. He didn't want you to see them - at all. You'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt a little.

Even after they had healed, he would lock the bathroom when he would shower, and change in the bathroom, too scared of you walking in on him changing in his bedroom. He was ashamed of all the bite marks and scratches the bats left behind. You respected his privacy, but it broke your heart to see him like that.

The 'old' Eddie didn't give a shit what he looked like under his clothes. He walked around his trailer in nothing but boxers and a cigarette between his lips. Now, he almost has an aneurysm when he takes off his hoodie and his shirt rides up. He didn't want to have sex either. It took you a lot of convincing and advances before he agreed to do anything sexual. You began with a dark room - pitch dark -, but even in the dark, with absolutely no lights, blinds and door closed, you could feel Eddie being hesitant and not letting go fully.

So you came up with an idea: using his bandana as a blindfold. With your eyes covered, he felt more confident. ''You won't take it off, right?'' he asked, folding the piece of cloth over and over until it was slim enough to cover your eyes. ''Promise me you won't.''You took his face in your hands, tilting it so his eyes connected with yours. ''I promise.'' As much as it hurt your heart that he saw his scars as something to be ashamed of, you would never betray his trust like that.

That night, for the first time in months, he made you his without holding back, without constantly thinking if you could see the scars or not. He took his time kissing everywhere on your body, worshiping it from head to toe after depriving himself of it for so long. His thrusts were deep and the moans that came out of his mouth were guttural. It didn't last long, both of you touch starved from the other. The blindfold over your eyes heightened your senses, making the orgasm more powerful.

After catching his breath, Eddie put his clothes back on - pants and long sleeves - and allowed you to take off your blindfold. Eddie fell asleep first, completely worn out from his orgasm. You carded through his hair as he slept, the moonlight peaked gently into his room through the small gap between the curtains, hitting the bite scar right above his eyebrow. You brushed your thumb over it, something he would never let you do awake. While he was making love to you, you could feel every scar under your fingertips and the palms of your hands, but you didn't say a thing.
—————-

A few weeks later, you saw them for the first time. It was a total accident. Eddie had a Hellfire club meeting in a few hours so he had gone showering, leaving you alone in his room. It was pretty much your room too now by how much time you were spending there and how many of your clothes and personal stuff littered every surfaces. Eddie finished washing himself, turned off the water and grabbed his towel when he realized he had forgotten his clothes on his bed. He checked the dryer, in case there was clothes left in there that hadn't been taken away, but it was empty.

''Fuck.'' If he had been alone at the trailer, he would've gone to his room to get them, but you were there so it was out of the question. He ran a hand through his wet hair, seeing no other solution than to call for you. Towel around his waist, Eddie opened the door slightly, just enough that his voice would get to you. ''Sweetheart? I forgot my clothes on the bed, could you bring them to me?''

No response. ''Y/N?'' he called again. Back in Eddie's room, you were comfortably situated in bed, pantsless and listening to music on Eddie's walkman, the volume too loud to hear him calling for you. Your head bobbed as you mouthed the words, imagining yourself at one of the band's concerts. Assuming you had fallen asleep, Eddie didn't want to get stuck in the bathroom for an hour. Tucking properly the towel around his waist, he slid the bathroom door open and headed to his room, leaving wet footprints and water drops - from his towel-dried hair - in the hallway.

Only, you weren't asleep so when you saw a shadow in the doorway, you got a little spooked. You quickly realized it was Eddie, calming down and chuckling to yourself. ''Jesus fucking Christ, never scare me like that aga-'' Your words got caught in your throat, seeing the man before you in only a towel. No clothes. Eddie froze, his expression mimicking a deer in the headlights when he saw that you were awake and that you could see everything. You went after him as he ran back to the bathroom, tearing the headphones off your head.

''I didn't mean it like that. Eddie, come back!'' The bathroom door got shut in your face and you heard the lock click. ''Shit.'' A minute passed before you heard Eddie's voice through the door. ''Y/N? Are you still there?''''Yeah.'' ''I forgot my clothes again... Could you get them for me? Please.''''Sure.'' You went to the bedroom and grabbed the pile of clothes on the bed, taking them to Eddie. The door slid open and he poked his head out along with one hand to grab the clothes. ''Eddie-''

''Can we not talk about it? I just- I just want to get dressed and go to Hellfire meeting.'' You nodded. ''Okay.'' You forced a small smile. ''I love you.''
——————

A month passed, and another. Eddie was sitting on the end of his bed, waiting for you to switch your work clothes for your normal clothes when he said the words he never thought he'd be ready for. ''I think I'm ready.'' ''Ready for what? Getting pizza? You better be ready because I'm starving,'' you said with your shirt half-way over your head, dreaming about the cheesy delight you wear going to taste in twenty minutes.

When you pulled it down fully, you saw that Eddie was looking up at you, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip while he pulled at the sleeves of his shirt nervously. That's when it dawned on you that he might not be talking about the pizza. ''My scars.'' Your face switched, giving the man before you all of your attention. ''Are you sure?''He nodded. ''I think it's time. I mean, I can't keep hiding from you, can I? It's getting ridiculous.'' A short laugh left Eddie's mouth, shaking his head.

''Maybe, but I'll always respect your boundaries.''''I know.'' He turned his head to you and the corner of his lips twitched. ''I know.'' He got up to close the blinds, but kept the light on, standing right before you. Slowly, Eddie peeled the bottom of his shirt, revealing pale skin and reddish-pink marks of bites and tiny claws. You held your breath, trying not to cry.

He peeled more of the fabric until he had to raise his arms and slip it off his arms and over his head, giving you a full look at his naked chest for the first time. His stomach, chests, arms and neck were covered in scars, making you realize how bad it actually was. Eddie's tattoos were still there. Some of them were hatched by the scars, others completely intact. Eddie released a shuddered breath, feeling your eyes on him, scrutting him. He felt like a circus animal. A freak]. ''There's some on my legs too. Do you want to see?''''Only if you feel comfortable.''

He didn't say anything. He just reached for his belt, revealing more bites and claw marks, more scars. Standing on your toes, you grabbed his face and kissed him hard. Eddie melted under your lips, under your touch, releasing the heaviness on his shoulders. ''I didn't want you to see me because I thought you would love me less, but I should've known that it's not who you are.''''Eddie... The you who you are now is the same you I was in love with six months ago, the same you I'll be in love with tomorrow. I love you for you, not what your body looks like.'' A chuckle left your lips. ''It's a nice bonus, but I'll never see it as ugly. You'll always be beautiful to my eyes.''

He closed his eyes and you saw a tear fall. You wiped it with your thumb. ''It's okay to break sometimes, and to be insecure.'' ''The first time I accidentally caught a glimpse of myself in the hospital bathroom mirror, I felt sick to my stomach at the sight. The bite marks triggered an intense panic attack. That's why my shower took so long,'' he confessed, months later. You pulled your eyebrows, your memories not matching his. ''You told me a stitches had ripped and they had to stitch is back.''''I lied. I...I didn't want to tell you how much they affected me. I didn't want you to see me as weak-''''You're not weak. You're a lot of things, but weak is not one of them. You're the bravest person I know. You're a survivor, a warrior, Eddie Munson. You're a hero, my hero.''
———————————————————————————
Credit:hawkins-losers