Pessimistic Coodies (RusAme)

Epilogue: America's Journal Entry

I've seen the boy lingering around a few times- yet, I do not think he even realizes that he is dead.

Or perhaps he does know and refuses to move on, my curiosity begins to throb my mind.

I remember a few years ago when I had first come to the conclusion that I was dead, at first I did not realize it. But gradually, I began to pick up on it.

Firstly, I felt different. I could barely feel emotion and felt hollow within. Everything that would make me happy no longer excited me as much.

Secondly, I was ignored. No one could see me nor interact with me. I thought everyone was being an asshole to me. I accidentally haunted my friends and family without even realizing it. My parents got so afraid that they sold the house and moved away with my brothers... leaving me with the house all to myself.

Thirdly, if I focused hard enough I could see dead animals and other dead people. Although seeing other dead people was extremely rare. And the reason behind that was they got to move on. From what I have gathered, it is because they attended their own funeral. Unfortunately for me, I was not aware if I even had a funeral because I did not know I was dead. So now I am just stuck here.

That boy must be in the same situation as me, only, he did not figure it out yet.

His name is Russia and we used to be in high school together. We never really interacted but because we were both really intelligent, we were put in many of the same classes throughout the years. I was very popular so you would think that he should know I am dead, however, my death was kept secret by my cruel parents for a wicked reason.

Russia died shortly after me. At first I didn't know how but I did some digging around and found out that after he was gifted his ice skates, he visited the lake to envision what it would be like to skate upon the ice when winter came. But his jealous brothers watched over him and threw heavy rocks at his head until he was unconscious. They drowned him in that lake.

When Russia had shifted to the other side, he must've thought he passed out when he woke up on the shore of the lake. He then went about his life like everything was normal.

Now, as I watched him walk away from his car, I could still tell he tries to live a normal life. I stood by my friends at the mini mall. I followed them around constantly because I felt they were all I had left. I was lonely without them. Although, whenever they brought up conspiracies about my sudden disappearance, they admit that they are relieved that I am no longer with them.

They say it is because I am crazy and that they love to use my car. I had lent the keys to my friend Japan so she could run an errand but before I could get them back, I died. So now she and everyone else uses my precious car. And every time they do, they say they hope I never return. I grew to hate them.

While they were chatting in front of the clothing store, I watched Russia walk past us quickly with his head down; he headed towards a little knick knack store.

I thought it would be a good idea to try talking to him. I needed a friend, and I knew he did too! He has been deprived of all communication and had no idea why. It was only right to help him. I wonder if he too felt the emptiness within. If I befriended him, I could easily help him with that issue. I got excited thinking about our possible friendship. When my friends walked to my car, I went in the opposite direction to Russia's car and waited upon his arrival.

But... I felt perplexed when I remembered that I would have to tell him that he was dead. I didn't know how to break the news to him. I couldn't just explain this all to him when we were first meeting. He'd never believe me. I would have to wait until we establish some kind of trust before I can lay this all out on him.