High School Crush

Prolouge

I hate men. 

I think they are everything that is wrong with the world and I don't think I am being over dramatic when I say that. It seems like every time I am feeling a negative emotion it can be traced back to a, you guessed it, a man.

I wish I wasn't romantically attracted to them. Something in my sweet, dumb subconcious wants a man for a life partner when beautiful females are right there, just existing. I must have done something terrible in my past life. 

It wasn't always like this. I was, very foolishly, excited to enter the world of love and romance when those hormones hit me for the first time. Like every girl, amidst the horribly life altering changes my body was go through during puberty, I gained the ability to have a real crush.

And I had my heart set on one boy: Hunter Jade.

Just thinking about his name back then made me want to melt in a puddle. I would daydream about his sparkling eyes that were the color of his last name. Silky hair lay over his eyes (because he probably didn't know how to style it) and he often drew doodles on his hands, like tattoos.

Swoon.

If that didn't get you then his crooked smile definitely would. Hunter was too handsome for an eighth grader and I guess that's why I liked him. I would sit quietly in the back of the room and stare at the back of his head for hours, only breaking my trance for answering the teachers questions. I was a little bit of a teachers pet, sue me.

I remember the day he asked me to the winter dance. I was, to say the least, shocked. He could have pretty much any (and every) girl on his arm and yet he chose me. But, no, I distinctly know that the words,

"Ava will you go to the winter formal with me?" came from that pretty little mouth of his.

And so the plot thickens.

The Winter Formal in eighth grade was like prom in high school. Girls buy expensive dresses and do their hair and makeup at their best friend's house. And guys lounge around the house until they have 5 minutes to get dressed and leave. 

Just like everyone else I bought a fancy dress and made my hair all pretty for just one night. I even put on lipstick, a bright red color that definitely didn't suit me but made me feel pretty nonetheless. I excitedly told my mom to not wait up for me that night (who did I think I was, Carrie Bradshaw??)  and ran all the way to the middle school. A whooping three blocks, full sprint.

He had told me to wait in the hallway so that's what I did. I stood there rocking back and forth on my kitten heels, and dreamed about our first slow dance. Students rushed through the ticket table, excited to start the night, fewer and fewer coming as time dragged on. Soon I was the only kid in the hallway and, after an awkward stare off with the chaperone at the entrance, I succumbed and slinked through the auditorium doors. 

I grabbed a cup of punch from the snack table with the same exuberance a drunk at a bar would grab a shot of whisky. Devastated, I sank to the ground on the wall of the gym, drink in hand, with dozens of scenarios of what could have happened to him playing through my head. Maybe her got kidnapped? Or his parents didn't let him come. Or maybe the government needed him for a top secret project that only extremely handsome people could participate in.  

Luckily, I didn't have to guess for long. 

Not minutes later, he strode through the doors of the gym. He looked dapper in a black, slightly too big suit and he had finally figured out how to style his hair. He was gorgeous. I was about to call to him, so easily ready to forgive when I saw that he wasn't alone. 

A blonde girl stood by his side, hair perfectly parted and curled. She was skinny and pretty and wearing actual heels. Hunter had his arm around her waist and he pecked her cheek before pulling her to the center of the dance floor, dancing to the first slow song of the night. 

And just like that, my fragile little heart broke for the first time. At first I wanted to cry but I was never into the damsel-in-distress archetype. I've read too many books with strong female leads to be walked all over. The unshed tears quickly morphed into flaming hot anger. How dare he stand me  up? And then show up on the arm of some other girl?! 

I marched right up to Hunter and tapped his shoulder. He turned around with a heart-stopping smile on his face.

"Ava!" he had said, "I didn't know you were coming to the dance."

Oh, did THAT get me steaming. By now you could probably see smoke coming off of my head.

"YOU INVITED ME DUMBASS!" I yelled at him.

Everybody stopped dancing, apparently more interested in teenage drama than their dance partners.

Hunter looked taken back.

"Me? Why would I do that? I had a date to this dance since before school started." he said like he was talking to a child.

"No you asked me to the Formal on Friday after school, remember?" I said in the same condescending tone.

"Ava I seriously doubt that. I would like you to meet my girlfriend of two years, Katie. She goes to a different school so you probably don't know her," he said.

The girl flashed a smile at me that held entirely too much malice for a polite hello.

I stood dumbfounded in the middle of everyone. Then I turned to the crowd and looked for any familiar face for help. My eyes landed on a friend from class.

"You remember right, Lexi? He asked me didn't he? I'm not lying. Tell them Lexi!" I pleaded with her.

All eyes turned on her and she noticeably froze. She looked like a fish out of water.

"Um...I don't...uh...Are you sure you heard him right?" she whispered. Luckily the room was as silent as a retirement home on Christmas day so you could hear her. Unluckily everybody heard her.

"But Lexi you were there!" I screamed hysterically.

Hunter intervened and grabbed my shoulders.

"Ava I absolutely did not asked you to the dance. It must have just been your imagination. I heard that can happen when you daydream a lot," he said. I remember looking into those gorgeous green eyes and knowing.

 He knew the truth. 

Suddenly I felt nauseous as the truth hit me like a ton of bricks. He knew. I saw Katie's face twist into a snicker behind him and realized she was in it too.  This was just a game for him and I just let him use me like I was his helpless little pawn. I was his stepping stone on the way to being the "most popular" boy in school. 

That jerk.

Through the rest of the school year I was teased and bullied for the "incident". I heard the whispers about the 'psycho-stalker' everywhere I turned. It hurt...at first but then people eventually just started ignoring me.

Blah blah blah, yes I know. What a sob story, kids are cruel, whatever. Despite what anyone might gather from this story, I did not then enter high school shy and alone and weak. Well, I did enter alone but there is actually many beneficial things that come with being a loner. There's no one that relies on you, you learn to like your own company, and you have a lot of time to explore different hobbies in between all the dates you're not going on.  

But really, I was actually a very happy person through my first three years of high school; it wasn't my fault that people didn't notice. My goal for my last year is to keep my head down and power through so I can finally escape into the real world where high school hierarchies are meaningless and mean girls realized they've already peaked. 

Unless of course something tries to get in the way of that. 

God, I hate men. 

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Hello!

This is an old story that I am redoing. I had an idea originally but now I'm changing it because...well because I can and I am the god who creates the universe of this story:)

It's under construction so bear with me, it will get better as you go. Pinky Promise.

This is one of very few A/N's, I'm not much one for talking. But I will respond to comments, if you choose to leave them(you should choose to leave them...please:)