Five Bullets

Chapter One

I never liked crowds of people. I stayed away from malls, concerts were a definite no, and the hallways at school made me want to go out and buy a machete. You could say I was an introvert. You'd be right. I was never really good with talking to people; I honestly have no clue in hell how I got any of my friends. Group projects gave me nightmares. Not because I was afraid of talking to my classmates, but because they're all so fucking stupid.

You could say that this was the universe's way of paying me back for all the hate I'd shown towards its most precious creations. Thrusting me violently into a hotel room literally filled with screaming teenagers. This is what I get for being a good friend. Or, for trying to be a good friend. I signed up for this concert to meet One Direction because my friend Anna was totally obsessed with those British dicks she never ever ever stopped talking about them. And I swear the contest said this was a trip for two. TWO PEOPLE TRIP.

You know how you always see small print on contests and things? Well, sometimes it's a good fucking idea to read the god damned small print.

Apparently, the winners of this contest were indeed to go on their magical meet One Direction adventure in pairs. They just weren't going to be allowed to pick their partner. Why? Because fuck the world that's why.

To win this contest you had to write a paper, yeah a legit paper, on why One Direction was amazing. Mine basically said that they sucked hairy ball sacks, I was being serious, everyone else thought I was joking. So I won. Anna is pissed at me. I'm pissed at everyone because once you win you just have to go because millions of girls would die to be in your shoes so shut the fuck up and get your ass on that plane you selfish whore.

So here I am. Sitting in a huge ass hotel room, waiting for the most famous boy band to get their slow asses up here, with 9 other super excited super loud super fucking annoying girls. All above the age of 18 because that makes it "more exciting" because "sex could happen".

All fangirls have on their minds in sex. I cannot tell you how many times I'd heard these girls talk about how huge they thought Harry's dick was. Or how soft Liam's hands must be. Or how hot Zayn would look above you. Honestly, these fuckers were hot, everyone knew it, I mean. British. But really, go buy a cheap whore and get out of my face and please STOP ASKING IF I SHIP LARRY BECAUSE I DO NOT. That ship done sunk.

Anyways, let's stop this pointless narration because it's pissing me off.

*****

"Ok so like, there are ten of us, and five of them." Hannah said holding up her fingers. "Ten divided by two is five. Two of us for every one of them."

"Wow, you're so good at math." I mumbled softly causing Gemma and Eve to giggle beside me.

"Did you say something Emma?" Hannah snapped.

I adopted a confused expression, "Me? Say anything? Why no Hannah, I would never talk when you're talking." Gemma let out a short burst of laughter and quickly turned it into a fit of coughing. I smirked.

"Ok, well, as I was saying, we should probably all get really comfortable with like, the idea of like, having a threesome because like, that's probably the only way we'll get any from them." 

"I am totally okay with that!" Valery said snapping her gum annoyingly, "I've had experience with threesomes, they aren't as terrifying as they seem!" Monica and Hannah descended on her and they began to chat animatedly about threesomes and how awesome and cool they were.

"I'm not okay with threesomes..." Eve said nervously besides me.

"Oh my God, Eve, you aren't going to have to have a threesome!" Gemma said rolling her eyes, "Hannah is just a dumb whore who thinks she can sleep with whoever she pleases."