My Thoughts

Abortive Dreams

In amidst of the chaotic world comprised of red stains, mournful cries, merciless creatures, and soldiers galloping on horses to their awaited, unpredictable death, a birth took place in the dead silence upon the captain and his subordinate while strolling in the forest in the break of dawn. A birth of her dream.

They were on patrol duty, keeping a look out for man-eating monsters—their right hand readying with their signal flares. If it weren't for Hanji and one of her expeditions in hopes of obtaining another titan for her experiments, they would probably be back in the headquarters, filling out loads of paperwork. But instead they're here, given enough time to contemplate their own self and whatever thoughts that were put aside and worry less about work, even though they're on duty.

In Petra's case, her thoughts somehow traveled deep to where she buried her dream. A dream in which she would love to fulfill—if only it was possible to become reality.

"Captain." Petra was surprised with her mouth, unexpectedly calling for his attention. She glanced to her right—her superior was staring at the surrounding foliage and it seemed that he didn't hear her call, making Petra sigh in relief. She was not in a mood of a having a light conversation with him, especially when she's thinking about—

"What is it, Petra?" Levi broke Petra's inner thought. Petra's head bobbed up and she felt her heart beat rapidly. Aw great he did hear me. Guess there's no escape.

"Uh—I have been thinking," Petra began, averting her gaze to the path ahead. "About what I'm going to do after all of this is over."

Levi said nothing. Petra ignored his silence, knowing that he was listening.

"I mean if all of this was over," Petra added quickly.

"If?" Levi slowed down his horse, the animal coming down to a stop. Petra did the same, just barely passing his horse.

"Yes, if. I honestly don't think that  my dream will come true—ah," Petra paused before she could say her dream and she felt his cold stare bore through her. She could picture him wearing the same lifeless expression he displayed while doing paper work, fighting titans, to drinking her tea. But without even seeing it, her heart told her that his gray eyes gleamed with a hint of concern for her wellbeing—even though it was just a dream she's stressing over.

"And what exactly is this dream," Levi asked.

"It's... best if you don't know...," Petra said.

A menacing roar blared in the distance causing both soldiers' pair of ears to perk up. Titans.

With a shared look on their face, nodding, they both knew what to do and abandoned the conversation, pretending as if it never happened.

Levi sat in his empty headquarters, recalling the memory as he took a letter out of an envelope that was placed on his desk. He's already read it so many times, to the point where he memorized every sentence—every word—but he unfolded the letter anyway and let his eyes trail across each sentence, reading them in her voice.

The letter was short, quite surprising, but it was meaningful, enough to cling onto him for the rest of his life and perhaps linger forever in his mind.

Dear Levi,

 

I don't know if you remembered that conversation in the forest where I talked about my dreams but never actually told you what it was. If can recall correctly, I said that it was best that you didn't know. I still think it's best that you don't know but because there's a slight possibility that I may not live to have the chance of accomplishing it, I may as well tell you...

Levi stopped reading. He didn't need to read the last line. He's already memorized that part. He knew what she said, what she wrote, what she's wanted for so long. His heart ached when he read the second sentence of the letter, her not living long enough for the chance. It was unfair that what she predicted was true.

"If only I would've gave you the ring earlier, I could've made your dreams come true."

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A/N: This was basically another story I stole from my Rivetra one-shot archive in Fanfiction.Net XD I promise, I'll make new content soon ;)