: Step 17: There's always Tomorrow to look forward to, but don't forget to remember the good of YesterdayNotes:
(See the end of the chapter for .)
Chapter Text
"What makes you think that someone like you could ever be associated with me?"
Those words cut deep as he picked up the fallen gift he had given to the third prince, someone who he called a friend- the only one who he thought cared about him now stood above him with a cold expression while tried to pick up the broken pieces.
"If you can't even use magic properly how can you even be called a noble? If you have no beauty or grace what value to do have to others? With a shrew face like yours how is it that you were never taught any shame? If your only worth is the family you were born into then how can your parents even call you their son? You'd just be better off not existing, no one would miss something annoying like you anyhow."
He couldn't bring himself to lift his head as he shut his eyes tightly. In his mind, his mother's words rang stronger than they ever had before.
"Never allow them to see anyone to see you cry. Any tears you shed will only weaken you and our family image."
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"HOW COULD YOU?!" He didn't dare look at her as his mother bellowed her yells towards him and the fallen strands of hair he had cut off himself. "I cannot even begin to comprehend what would compel you to embarrass your family like this! Have you no shame?!" She yelled, causing him to flinch slightly as she snapped her fan open, then turning her back to him. He didn't say a word as he clutched the scissors in his hand recalling her words and fighting back the tears. "Your actions are entirely the reason that they're calling you the Defective Heir? Do you want to be called that? Do you want to be ridiculed by everyone?!"
He furrowed his brow as he hit his tongue, holding back the words he wanted to say.
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"I think it suits you." His father said as he momentarily returned from one of his trips. He had knelt before his son gently caressing his hair with a warm smile. For a moment he felt his heart feel ease in the presence of the person he missed so much.
"You...you're not mad?" He asked hesitantly, wanting desperately his father to understand.
His father smiled at him, "Of course not, you're looking more and more like your mother every passing day. I'm very happy." His father said, not realizing the negative impact he had made toward his only child who he adored.
In a moment his heart sank below the show, reminding him once more why he was truly alone in the world of nobility he lived in. Once again he held back asking those questions he already knew answers to, the words he desperately wanted to ask his mother; The person he was told he resembled the most in the world.
Why can't you love yourself?
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It's always been my fate to lose.
No matter what I tried to accomplish I was never good enough; No matter how hard I tried to please those I've loved they never once look my way; No matter how many thorns pricked me I always kept reaching for them over and over again, hoping that one day I would be understood, wishing I could feel the warmth of another's gaze without fearing it.
I had given up.
I knew such dreams were as such, simply just dreams.
All I could ever do was look forward to a future where I wouldn't have to feel the pain of yesterday.
