Carulia Oneshots

Risking Everything?

word count: 1,014

Note: ignore the fact that I haven't updated this book in almost a year pls and ty <3

Carmen shifts on her feet, butterflies in her stomach because for some reason she's nervous, though she really has no reason to be. Julia and her are... friendly , she thinks the word is. And she's visited many times, enough for it to be comfortable. Elongated many video calls after Player had knowingly disconnected himself, too. (Maybe she liked talking to Julia, asking her about her day unrelated to the work she was doing to help the team. And if she did, what did it matter?)

Another university student passes her with a curious look (this has to be at least the third one), and she sighs. Because really, what is she waiting for? The butterflies to leave?

She forces herself to knock.

Shoes click inside the office and toward the door, and it opens. "I'm sorry, I–" Julia's eyes widen when she recognizes the woman in front of her. "Carmen. I didn't realize you were coming by today."

Carmen grins sheepishly, but it feels fake, lips stretched over teeth in a pathetic effort to replicate a smile, and she knows it doesn't quite reach her eyes. Fatigue tugs at her face; she hasn't slept in almost three days and it's taking its toll. She's so tired.

She's tired, and she knows Julia can see it on her face. She's always so attuned to Carmen, and it's... fascinating, in a way. It's been a long time since someone's looked at her like that, with such softness in their eyes.

"Mind if I come in, Jules?"

Julia nods, a smile curving her lips, and opens the door wider so she can step inside.

"Not that I'm protesting your being here," at this a corner of Carmen's mouth quirks up in a grin, a real grin this time, and pink dusts Julia's cheeks as she clears her throat. "But what brings you here? England is a long way from California."

"There's something I thought you should know before you heard it secondhand. So I came straight to you." Carmen pulls three pale yellow files from her jacket and holds them out to Julia.

Julia's hands smooth over the manila files she lays on the table, meticulously evening the space between them. "What are these?"

"I've been... talking with ACME. With Chief. We're trying to collaborate my knowledge with their resources."

Julia adjusts her glasses with a fingertip. "Oh?"

And so Carmen hops up onto Julia's desk, crosses one leg over the other, and lays out the preliminary plan she had worked out with Chief.

Julia nods to show she's listening while Carmen is talking, but is otherwise silent, eyes darting over her face, to her hands, her mouth as she's talking. Carmen doesn't find it distracting at all.

"And so I wanted to tell you, but I also wanted to run some things by you before I take them to Chief. You're more knowledgeable about the other side than either of us are," Carmen finishes with a slight chuckle. The precise tick of the wall clock is audible as Julia gazes down at the open files before her in contemplation.

When she speaks, her voice is quiet.

"Is it worth it? Risking everything, just for a chance at taking VILE down?" Carmen looks down at her hands in her lap at that, and Julia stands so she's in front of her.

"I'm... tired of running," she admits quietly, and it's like she didn't know she was carrying a weight until it lifts from her shoulders. It's suddenly a lot easier to breathe, having said it out loud. Only Jules , she thinks.

"I'm tired," she says again, voice a bit stronger. "And risking everything is the only way to take VILE down."

Julia reaches for her hands in a way that's become so normal for them since they've become more than just situational allies (one might even call them friends now), and Carmen focuses on the clash between the now-familiar freckled pale skin against the tan of her own. Watches as Julia traces a finger across the pale, criss-crossed scars that are slightly raised against the backs of her hands and curl up her forearms. She does this sometimes; Carmen finds it comforting.

It's far more preferable than thinking about the massive task ahead of her.

Carmen's eyes shift up to Julia's, but she's already looking at her. Her eyes shift back and forth for a moment between her eyes, and strong hands squeeze her own. "Are you okay?"

And really, it hits her way harder than it should. Because after all of this, Julia wants to know if she's okay. If she'sokay. Carmen's eyes fall again.

"Hey, look at me." Julia takes a step closer and tilts Carmen's chin up. Looks levelly into her eyes, gaze softening. "It's okay if you're not okay."

Carmen leans forward until her forehead is pressed to Julia's shoulder, and Julia immediately wraps her arms around her, murmuring soothing words into her hair. "It's okay, Carmen."

Carmen sinks further into the embrace with a shuddering sigh. "I'm scared," she says into Julia's neck, voice barely over a whisper. "I'm so scared." Even the admission scares her.

Arms tighten around her body, a hand moves to her lower back and it's nice, the feeling of a solid body against her own. Julia's hand drags down her back in slow circles. "It's alright to be scared, Carmen."

But is it? Really? She wants to believe her.

Julia's presence is so calming. She's relaxing into Julia's arms and she realizes she doesn't want to leave this woman that's starting to feel more like home than the warehouse that bears her name. She's already thinking about the logistics, when she absolutely has to be back to Zack and Ivy and Shadowsan. Maybe she can stay here for a few more days. Maybe she can stay with Julia.

Julia smooths the bangs out of her face. Carmen smiles, and Julia smiles back. A warmth blooms in her chest.

"Now," Julia says, stepping back so she can hop off the desk. "You said you needed my input?"