So me aguh show unuh how women life guh sometimes. So me did deh with a gun man name Chulu, terrible piece a bwoy me a tell unuh.
All me get from chulu was bun and beatings😪😪😒
Nuh care how him say him go on the road guh "mash works" a bare chump change him come home with and I had to take my pay and feed the bwoy.
One day him call me say me steam two fish for him because him deh road from morning and him soon reach home.
Me wonder where me must get money from to buy fish. Me just buy two tins of Mackerel and cook it up with some okra.
Aye! Me get a piece a beating 😭😭 and the dog shit still nyam the food same way.
Anyways my aunty did set me up on a nice man from England. When me say man nice and clean enuh, me mean clear like jesus heart.
The man treat me good and send money for me on a regular so I had to hide and open a bank account to save up my money. I couldn't make Chulu even smell say me have a next man or else a shovel me mother would have to use and scrape up my body to bury me😤🤢.
To tell unuh the truth me never make the man know say me did have a man either.
Suffocation nuh nice.
So one Christmas English (England man) tell me say him a come for just weekend and him want to spend all of it with me.
Lord me batty start guh "twep twep" cold sweat start wash me cause me nuh know how me aguh deal with him and Chulu.
Me start think bout how me aguh play say me get kidnapped for ransom by one a Chulu many enemies dem but that might start a whole war so me leave that alone.
Me plan say me a guh take sick and guh down a me mother but me cyah do it because him a friends down there. Nah guh work😒😒 so a one thing came to mind 😅
Me tell Chulu say me a guh town early in the morning and him say him aguh mash works early too. So him did leave the house before me, so me just pack up some stuff me know him nah guh miss and buy a few things when me reach a town.
I then call my cousin gave her my phone, show her the ropes ( she a good gyal) and told her what to do.
Bout 1 o'clock me cousin call him and tell him say me deh a jail🤣🤣 say them catch me a town inna store a teef clothes😭😭😭 and police hold me.
Pure excitement and embarrassment.
Now me memba Chula a wanted man enuh so him cyah come a jail come look for me suh a my cousin him have to go through plus she tell him say them hold on pon me to get to him also and me can't get bail till Monday.
Chulu start panic now and gone into hiding now and me glad.
I finally get that off my head now and a enjoy myself. Gyal deh pon pool side and a chill and a sip champagne and a nyam shrimp and fruits, due to how gyal nuh used to nothing, lobster shell almost choke me and one time me almost drown🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gyal a get massage and man a carry gyal guh shopping and a spend money and a give gyal pure money.
Me it put pon English left, right and centre. 😏😏😏English well love me off and me like him too because him far in comparison to wah me used to with Chulu. Gyal know life and see how life must live. Gyal live out the weekend.🥳
Me start fret😨 the Monday morning now when me must guh back home cause me nuh wah leggo dah life yah.
English promise say him a guh give me whatever me want and him aguh make me reach England. From here on me start plan how me aguh get rid of Chulu cause me tiad a him now. Tiad hard life and beatings and have to work suh a hard fi mine man.
Monday me reach back a town and reach a yard. Me cousin say him nuh call not even one time to ask if she hear from me and me nuh see no sign say him did deh a the yard either.
Me call one a friend and tell him say to make Chulu know say me reach home. You see when Chulu reach home? Mercyful fada, a get some lick fi gone teef clothes and get ketch and also put him life inna danger 🤣🤣😭😭😭 man not even ask me if me did alright enuh.
Me hold the lick dem still cause me know him aguh get dem back. Him tell me say him a guh back up a him woman yard and make sure when him come back me clean up the house and cook 😤 me decide say Chulu haffi get fuck.
Now after the weekend I had a this me come back to enuh. Sometimes a one time me see him for the month but me never mind because me have more time to talk to English and more time to plan my escape.
Me get some information bout where he was staying and started to plan from there. Me link up with a police woman because me couldn't trust a police man and started to put my plan in motion.
I told English I wasn't comfortable living in the ghetto and me want somewhere that me and my mother could stay until me reach England.
So him rent a two bedroom house for us and me stop working and me my mom started cooking and deliver food in the day to earn an income.
Chulu search high and low for me and take God off the cross say when him buck me him aguh " nyam me alive."
My poor cousin did all have to start deh with him because she fraid of him until me send her guh live with a friend. That made this worst. Him start act like a mad man.
Chulu bun down the house weh me and him did live inna and send man guh obeah man with me name pon paper🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me hear say when the man reach a the obeah man yard and the man tell him wah him have to go do to find me. The man guh back to Chulu and tell him say him have to guh kill him🤣 but him never kill him.
Well Chulu did have information bout where me live so I made my move first because I know that if him find me dog nyam my supper.
So me tell English say me wah move from out of the yard because the landlord a look me🤣🤣🤣 you know him nuh wah hear that suh him move we out the same week to a better place with no landlord.
Anyways long story short. 10 years now me married ( not to English, him is a next dogshit) and deh England with my mother.
As for Chulu him deh a prison for attempted murder of a police woman. The gyal him did deh with was the police gyal me did a pay to set him up.
Me nuh know a wah Chulu do to the woman make she turn on me. So because she was a undercover police woman and him find out on an anonymous tip (😘😏🤭) because when she was suppose to bring him in, she well fall inlove and start give him information on my whereabouts and me nuh know a wah cause Chulu water mouth never have no used and him nah last longer than 5 mins.
A fear why me stay with him suh long.
4 months after him reach prison dem blind him in deh and the police woman got kicked off the force for corruption.
Anyways me reach a England and it wasn't a bed of roses either cause English almost make me buy obeah. Enjoy Until next time me tell unuh bout English. 😘😘😘
A few of you might have heard me mention that I have some short stories that I used to send to Deardream back in 2019. Well I'm posting them🤣
