𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐌𝐀 𝐎𝐍𝐄-𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒

~𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞?~

<3
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~𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟~

~𝐒𝐡𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕~

~

Can you love the sun?

Is it possible to love something even though it could burn you? His name was Kokichi Ouma. He was the sun of my universe. He was, without a doubt, the most imaginative boy in school. We'd known each other since elementary school though we didn't talk much. You could say we didn't meet until our freshman year of high school.

I remember it was the day I went to the library. I was sitting on the chair that was with the table and felt as if someone had stuck their hand in my chest and squeezed. I thought to myself. Is this it? Is this how I die? "Hey, Saihara-chan. Are you okay?" A voice to my left said. I turned in their direction and found the one and only Kokichi Ouma looking back at me. He was still in the school uniform, a tan button-up, a black tie, a navy blue jacket and black pants. His natural kinky oily hair was out of the regulation hair and fanned out from his face, framing it beautifully.

"I'm dying." I somehow had the strength to say. But, even as I felt like I was dying, I was struck by how pretty he looked with his hair up in a small ponytail. He shifted on his feet. "I think you have a panic attack." He sat next to me. "I need you to take a deep breath."

"But... I can't breathe." I said between gasps. He half smiled, the left corner of his lip pulled upward. "If you're talking, you can breathe. Now, come on. Deep breath. In through your nose." I did as he said. Breathed in as deep as I could, filling my lungs with air. He did the same. "And out," he said. He pursed his lips, letting the air out slowly. I followed his lead. He breathed in. I breathed in. He breathed out. I breathed out. He kept it up for a few minutes, reminding me how to breathe again. Finally, and thankfully, my heart stopped trying to pound its way out of my chest, and I could take solid breaths that didn't feel like I was breathing through a straw.

"Thank you," I said, wishing there was more I could say since thank you didn't seem like enough. "It's okay," he said. He put his hand on my cheek and looked into each of my eyes. "You should take it easy. Go to the nurse or something." I looked away from his. I didn't want to deal with this right now. I needed to get on with my work and earn my spot on the junior detective team. It was all I ever wanted. "I can't," I told him simply. "I'll be fine." He eased my face back to his. "You'll be fine, but for how long?" Of course, I couldn't afford to ask those types of questions. But, on the other hand, I wasn't about to let anything stand between me and my dream. "Thanks for everything," I told him. He nodded. "Take care of yourself." He brushed his pants and stood to leave. As I watched him go, I felt cold without him near me. Empty. As if I was watching the sun fall out of the sky. Only seconds had passed, and yet I missed him already. What was happening to me?

***

I do not claim to be a genius, not in school nor in solving mysteries, nor even in life. So it is to no one's surprise that it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize my feelings for Ouma. And when I did figure it out, it was too late. I was in the cafeteria and saw Ouma walking with this guy named Momota, who was on the Quiz bowl team with Ouma's best friend, Iruma. Ouma was laughing at something he had said. I got annoyed because I didn't remember making him laugh that much, and then I wondered what I had to be upset about. It's not like Ouma, and I was together. Akamatsu, who was sitting beside me, followed my line of sight. "You want to know what I heard?" Of course, I didn't, but that didn't stop her from telling me. "I heard that Ouma and Momota are going out."