I will never leave you

Paradise

"Hey"
I startled. Still leaning against Sherlock.
"I can help you"
A decrepit figure stood in front of me. A man, about six feet tall. His clothes were dripping wet.
God, when was this fucking rain going to stop pouring?!
"Did you hear me? I can help you."
He stared at me without moving.
"I, I don't understand," I stammer.
"I can help you forget", he wispered with a kind of creepy smile.

I looked him in the eyes. Slowly I rised.
"You, you can help me?"
"I can"
I walked towards him.
"How much?", I asked.
"Your shoes. Your coat, your watch."
"Not the coat"
"I'll take it as collateral, you pay the rest later."
"Oh, okay, show me what you got."
He smiled again and took a small round gum box out of his jacket pocket.
"I've got paradise."
5 little pills.
"You get them all, they're not quite pure, you understand, for that price."
He laughed out loud.
"Don't take them all at once. One a day, tops, or it will be fatal."
He grins at me and explains it like homework to a small child.
"So? Will you accept my help?"
I nodded, took off my shoes. Shit, my socks touches the wet grass and inevitably fill with water. I hate that feeling. It's like stepping on a wet carpet without shoes.

I gave him my watch.
"The coat?"
Hesitantly I took it off and gave it to him.
"It's only a rag now, are you sure you don't want to get rid of it?"
"Yes, I need the coat," I replied quickly.
"Ok, you'll find me right here, tomorrow, 9 pm. Then I want the rest. Fifty pounds in exchange for the coat."
"50? Ok. I'll be there"
He nodded and walked away. Leaved me without shoes, without a watch, without a coat, with 5 pills, in the dripping rain.

5 pills... I only had to take one to forget him...even if it's only for a few hours....
Actually I was not like that, I didn't usually take drugs, I'm usually decent. But unusual situations require unusual actions.
Sherlock's permanent absence was unusual and this unusual situation had resulted in my breakdown.

I looked at his gravestone. The empty tea tin lay open next to it. I almost hesitated, but the sight gaves me the rest. But not here. I didn't want to do it here.
I turned away and ran. Away from the cemetery. Away from Sherlock. I ran faster and faster. But stop. There were torches, blue lights, policemen. But too late, they've spotted me.
"Hey, sir!"
"You mean me officer?"
It was not the same policeman from before. Luckily, he probably would have recognised me right away.
"Yes, you there! Come closer"
I obeyed. I tried to hide my hurt as best I can. His face took on an astonished expression at my appearance. He blinded much with his torch causing me to squint my eyes. Fortunately, he only shined the light in my face and didn't notice the wound.
"Um, Have you seen a man, about your height, wearing a long black coat? Seems like a bum too, from his way too big coat, do you know him?
Have you seen a man like this?"
"No, I don't know anyone like that," I replied.
"Oh, ok. It was just a guess. Too bad. You may go"
"Thank you officer", I said and leaved. Not too fast, that would be too conspicuous. But I also could not walk too slowly either, that would look strange.
I heard the police talking.
"If I catch him... just murdered one of my colleagues! That fucking pig! Killing two in one night, he must be used to it. Son of a bitch."
I hadn't thought of that before. They didn't know I was bleeding, but if they would took blood samples from the blood around the taxi, they would find out that the blood wasn't just from the taxi driver. They would find out who it was from. They would find out that it was my blood.

If they will do it at all. They didn't know I was injured. Nevertheless, they will most likely look for another DNA.
But who would have suspected me?
I was safe. For now.
I kept walking, automatically, towards Bakerstreet.
But I didn't want to do it there either. Two streets before, I stoped. A small side street, perfect. It was dark, only a dimly ringing street lamp gave some light. There was no one on the street, only the barking of a dog pierces the silence.

I leaned against the wall, the small roof protected me from the rain. The can. I opened it. They were so small, so inconspicuous, the five pills. I could take one and dive in paradise for a few hours. But then I would fall back into the deep abyss of grief. I will take two.
Slowly I took the first one. It tasted strange. Nothing happened. Now the second. Again nothing had changed. I will take the third. Everything was still normal. Slowly I swallowed it, waited. I felt a little dizzy so I sat down on the cold asphalt. My legs were bent. I pulled them closer to me.
Why the hell wasn't anything happening?
I took the fourth. Slowly I felt more. But it was too slow. Why didn't it work? I quickly took the last pill from the tin and swallowed it. Now I felt more and more dizzy. Only now I did realise what I had done. Five pills. All of them at once could kill, that was what he said.

My body became weak. I slowly let myself fall backwards. My head hit the road surprisingly softly.
I lay down on the floor, my gaze was fixed upwards on the ringing stars. I spread my arms. My hair mixed with the dirt of the street. What was this? Was that... Sherlock?
It was him, up in the stars, I saw him clearly.
"She-...Sherlock," I whispered.
"It doesn't matter now, I'll be with you soon."
I rised slowly and extended my arm to him. Although it was still raining, my body was getting warm. It was as if everything were as it used to be. Suddenly I got this feeling of weightlessness, as if I were flying, to him. I stretched my arm even further. I took off, I lost the ground under my feet, but it was a nice feeling. I got closer and closer to Sherlock.
"Hey John, how was your day?"
He smiled and winked slightly. I stared up at him.
"She, Sherlock, I-I will..." 
Suddenly my body went limp and I slumped back to the ground, my head hit the wet street and everything around me turned black.