Weight loss Motivation

1. "Mall Struggles"

  Going to the mall was always so exciting, as it was for most teenage girls who never seemed to have enough clothing options. After tolerating an eternity of "I have nothing to wears", you and your older sister Maggie firmly decided a mall visit was due. The place was bustling with beautiful groups of girls your age, their long straight blonde hair complementing trendy crop tops and perfectly fitting denim shorts. Even walking past them was a challenge if you were being honest, as their high pitched giggles and whispers flooded your ears involuntarily.
  But above all, it was hard because you weren't totally sure whether you admired or hated them. On one hand, you wished to be like them, to have pretty privilege and live with the reassuring satisfaction of being the beauty standard. However, you also hated their white asses, because you weren't them. They all were so perfect and skinny. All their clothes fit well, and you were nearly sure the brand and sizing was a classic Brandy Melville small...You were lucky to be able to fit into Brandy's clothes, period. That fact hit you like a slap on the face, souring your previously ecstatic mood.
  Turning to Maggie, you stated desperately, "Hey, let's just go into this store and check things out, okay?" Willing to do anything to get away from those blonde minions, you clutched your sister's arm and practically dragged her into the nearest store. She shook her smol skinny arm from your tight grip, her prominent jaw clenched. "What? This is a plus size store! I can't get anything that will fit me here!"
  Guiltily, you reached for a pair of jeans, scanning the size label. According to the tag, these would actually fit you just fine. "Well," you state nervously, "these might fit me."
  Maggie laughs, looking you up and down with an expression communicating her disbelief. "Wow. You fit plus size clothes, now? Maybe we should skip the food court today!" It was a joke, but it still hurt. A lot, especially considering you were planning on skipping it already. You certainly didn't need that Chinese combo meal and bubble tea drink. Maggie saying it to your face just made your struggles and confused perceptions of your body even more real and serious.
  Feeling a little disgusted with yourself, you put the jeans back on the rack, even though they would be well worn since your current pair squeezed your stomach til rolls came out the top and sides. Crop tops like those blonde girls had on would be impossible with this unflattering situation...
  After trailing dejectedly behind Maggie for a bit, she suddenly stopped. "Oh my gosh, we need to go into Brandy. They're having a sale." Assuming you'd follow, she hurried in, immediately seizing a discounted mini skirt. "They have my size!" Her bold eyes lit up as she held it up to her slim waist happily. "Do they have yours?"
  You reach for the largest product available, stretching the fabric across your wide body gingerly. Your love handles made the answer to her question a no. Wordlessly, you put the cute trendy skirt back and crossed your arms, hoping the action would conceal some of your mass. "It's fine. I'll just watch you shop." Feigned excitement filled your voice, and you simply stood near Maggie from then on.
  Half an hour later, the two of you walked out holding 4 loaded bags and significantly less money. You had seen too many skinny models and felt too fat too many times today. All you wanted was to go home, put on a blanket hoodie, and hide under your covers with Netflix and a snack...no, no snack. That's the reason you were in this situation in the first place. "So, we done here?" You blocked your painful thoughts and focused on Maggie, who was examining one of her purchases while walking.
  "What? No way. We need to go to Zara first." She smiled widely. "Maybe you can actually do some shopping there!"
  Ignoring her comment, you studied the shirt she was holding up to herself. It looked like a toddler's T-shirt, if you were being honest. "Sure that will fit?" You asked genuinely.
  A snort came from your skinny sister. "Of course it will. I'm only 100 pounds. This flat stomach and these skinny arms have never let me down. I'll squeeze into it, just like you do with those jeans!" She eyed your tight Ill-fitting pants questionably.
  Offended, you tried hard to think of a comeback, but she was just so pretty, loved, perfect. There was hardly anything you could say about her. If only you could lose weight, you would be the same way. People couldn't insult you or your body. They couldn't laugh at you or give you mean glares. They wouldn't judge you for stepping into a store or wearing something. It sounded like a dream, a dream that you wanted, no needed, to become reality. The mere idea put an extra spring into your step. Off to Zara, where you would indeed do some shopping. You would buy whatever you liked or desired in a tiny size, maybe just like Maggie's. Then, you'd lose the devastating weight so you could wear it. You would be just like those pretty blonde skinny girls, who made anyone slightly fatter walking by hate themselves. You would be just like Maggie, who made you hate yourself everyday. Or did you really want that?

Author's Note:
If you're reading this, just know I am torn. I think these experiences happen way too often, and as they are realistic occurrences, they can be truly motivating to lose weight. However, being fatter isn't a problem and I wish other people could understand this. Issues surrounding weight and body perception are extremely complex, and I don't feel qualified to speak on these matters, but through these stories, I just hope you can relate, get inspired, have a realization, etc. Know you're not alone in these struggles and you are beautiful, no matter how much you weigh. Take care of yourself and your body❤️✨