Desperate

29

Arabella

After the lake Ethan and Paige go home, I decide to stay out for a while and take a walk, as I do that I text Alex asking if we can meet so I can get more pills.
We agree to meet at the look out point again in an hour, which is perfect since I'm walking.

I have a little bit of money with be, enough to buy a few at least. I get there a little bit late, but he isn't there, his car is but he isn't. I ring him three times to see what happened, the third time someone answers it, but it's not Alex.

"Alex? Where are you?" I ask.

"Bella?" It takes me a moment to realise who's voice it is, but when I do I'm even more confused.

"Cole?" I ask. "What are you doing with Alex's phone, where is he?"

"Are you fucking him?" He ignores the rest of my questions, "is this the guy you let touch you?" His voice sounds angry.

"What?" I can't register what he's asking I'm just confused. "Cole where are you, where's Alex?"

"I'm behind you."

I turn around to see him walking out of the tree line, his eyes fixated on me. But Alex isn't with him.

"Cole-" I'm interrupted by him shouting.

"Are you fucking him?" He shouts as he comes closer.

What the fuck is his problem.

"No and even if I was it's none of your business." I reply, his tone making me want to hit him.

"Yes it is my business" he shouts.

"How, how is it your fucking business?" I step forward, raising my voice.

He angrily runs his hands through his hair, looking down at the floor. It's like he's trying to fight himself.

"Go on, why?" I ask again getting even more annoyed.

He steps forward trapping me between him and Alex's car, "because your fucking mine" he shouts as he looks dead into my eyes.

"No, Cole, you can't do that, you can't just ignore me and act like a dick to me, then do this no." He's looking at me possessively and it's pissing me off.

I step to the side trying to walk away from him. I don't get far as he grabs my wrist pulling me towards him smashing his lips against mine. It's better than I ever could have imagined, his lips are soft, after a second I kiss back, gripping onto the back of his head pulling him closer to me, he bites the bottom of my lip opening my mouth, as he slides his tongue in he lifts me up, I wrap my legs around his waist, he turns me around so I'm pressed against the car. The kiss is so passionate and desperate, after a while I start to go dizzy and pull away. His dark eyes stare into mine as he puts one of my stray hairs behind my ear.

For a moment I forget about everything, about the accident, the school shooting, the pills, I stop panicking about money and getting into college, I just stop thinking. This is perfect.

The moment comes crashing down when I remember that up until a few minutes ago I thought Coke hated me, and I had to suppress any of my body's feelings towards him so I didn't let it go too far. And that's exactly what I need to do now.

I get down and get out from between him and the car.

"What the fuck." I don't know what to do, I don't k ow what he's thinking, for all I know this could just be him being drunk from the lake or a way to embarrass me at school. I turn to him and repeat myself, "what the fuck."

He just stairs at me. 

"What was that? Why- why did you- for fuck sake Cole, you can't just do that."

"From what I recall you did it to and you seemed to enjoy it" he says with a cocky smirk.

"You can't just kiss me" I say, flustered.

"Why not, you kissed me back"

"Well I shouldn't have done, I swear to god there must be something wrong with you. You act like a dick to me one minute then your- your like this. What do you want from me?"

He steps closer to me, with a dark look in his eyes. "You."

I can't do this, I can feel a panic attack coming. This is too much.

"No" I don't k so what I'm saying, I want to kiss him again, I want him, but I can't trust him. I don't know if he's telling the truth.

He looks hurt, but he doesn't say anything. I move away from him needing as much distance as I can get. Eventually I turn around, leaving him there behind me and walk home replaying everything that just happened in my head.