Desperate

31

Arabella

I wake up early on Monday morning, I'm meeting Jamal for a tutoring session before class, the coach is sick so they don't have a morning practice. I try my best to look normal, if I see Cole I don't want him to see how he has effected me, how I've only had two hours of sleep because I can't stop replaying the kiss in my head, hearing the words and the small affectionate touches he gave me. I want him. But I know I'll only get hurt in the end.

It's extremely humid today, the heat has been building up for a while, even at 6am the air is suffocating.

As I walk into the library Jamal is already there waiting for me, since I've been tutoring him, we've kind of become friends, not that he'd tell anyone, it's like he's scared to be seen with me.

"Hey gorgeous" he says in an overly happy tone. I've learned to not think too much about Jamal's complements, it's just the way he his, overly flirty and charming, but still respectful. I honestly don't get what him and Cole have in common.

"Hey" I smile the best I can, tiredly placing the cups of coffee and the croissants I bought from the cafe on the way here on the table.

"You seem happy" he says in a sarcastic tone.

"Bad sleep, it's too hot" I say making an excuse.

"You need to get a fan" he says opening his text book.

We spend the next hour and 40 minutes going over the parts he struggles with most, we leave the library 20 minutes before class starts so we can find our friends and make our way to our classes like nothing happened.

On my way to English I pass Cole, standing next to his locker. I look at him for a moment deciding what to do, but he just looks straight through me. That's enough to reassure me that I did the right thing.

The day feels too long, we got given another English assignment, due in four days, and we were notified about a college fair during our last three periods next Monday.

After work I decide to go to the 24 hour gym that's just in town, about 25 minutes away from where I live. I skip the weights, treadmills and other various work out machines and head straight to the punching bag, I waste no time getting the protective equipment on and after a while punching the bag and not finding any release, I find a sparing partner. My dad made sure I knew self defence and different ways to protect myself, but I'm not doing this to train I'm doing this to feel something, anything other than fear. If anger or pain replaces that, then I'll take it.

After finishing in the gym, I head out to my car, it's almost pitch black now, and my phones about to die so I need to hurry home. I get in my car and start the engine but the light on the dashboard that notifies me when my tire air is low turns on. I get out again, checking all my tired and see a nail in one of them, which caused most of the air to escape. Great.

I ring Ethan to come and pick me up but he doesn't answer, Paige and Lucas are the same. My phones on 3% and I can't think of anyone else, so I bite my pride and call Cole.

He answers on the third ring, "what?" He says in a fed up tone.

"I need help." I say not wanting to sound upset but in reality I'm about to cry. It's too much, I'm so stressed and overwhelmed.

"Send me your location. I'm on my way." And with that he puts the phone down.

I send him my location and sit inside my car to wait. Around 20 minutes later I hear a knock on the window, thinking it's coke I opened the door, getting out. When the stench of alcohol and body odour hits me I quickly realise it want him.

"He pretty girl, do you have any money, I need to the bus home" he snarls, behind him a see a old broken down car with blacked out windows.

I tell him honestly no. If I had money I would have used it myself to get home.

Even after I said no, he still wouldn't leave, I tried to be polite and sit back in my car but at this point his hand was pushed against the door stoping me. "Well then maybe you can keep me company." He says creepily, moving closer to me.

"No I don't think so, have a good night." I try to move away again but he's caged me in.

"Come on baby, let's have some fun" he moves his sloppy, drunken lips to me when a fist collides with his face.

"She said no asshole" I turn to see Cole standing there, not making eye contact with me. "Come on" he says as me moves away, I quickly lock my car and follow him.

"Thanks, but you didn't need to do that" I say I don't want him to think I can't defend myself.

"Shut up" he says exhausted with my pride. He opens my door for me and I happily get in.