𝐒𝐨 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 | 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐝

003 | The Diagnosis

I stayed with Meredith and Derek for the last few nights and today I was in for a biopsy. The mammogram I had the other day showed some abnormalities which has scared me even more.

"We have to tell Derek, he's going to wonder why I'm staying here sooner or later, he doesn't trust me right now. I can tell" I sighed as I sat on a stool feeding Bailey his breakfast for Meredith.

"I didn't take it, I was tempted but I didn't touch the drugs. You flushed them and I've not contacted him again" I said to my older sister who seemed to roll her eyes.

"You keep saying that Belle. Derek and I are worried. About you and you being around the kids if your high" Meredith says and I looked at her shocked, she never was like this towards me before.

"I'm going to a meeting! I'll see you at the hospital, your still coming with me to my biopsy?" I asked my sister, I had to get out the house and go to a meeting now, or when I get dressed that is. As I headed into the spare room Derek came out of Zola's room with Zola. I opened the wardrobe and pulled out a baggy hoodie, tank top and a pair of leggings, I wasn't working today and had already spoke to Owen about the situation. He's the only one who knows at the hospital.

"She's going to a meeting, she wouldn't go to one if she was actually taking drugs. I know her Derek, I know Belle wouldn't put the kids in harms way." I heard Meredith say as I pulled on my leggings.

"Then why is she still saying here?" Derek asked, I pulled the bedroom door open and stepped out.

"Just tell him Mer' just tell him" I said before then going beck into the bedroom. I shut the door and leant against it with a sigh.

"Tell me what?" Derek asked Meredith.

"You can't tell anyone. Belle doesn't know yet but she might have breast cancer, she's told Owen which is why she's not been working the last few days, she's scared Derek! She has a biopsy today but I know Belle' I can tell she is scared." I heard Meredith tell Derek. I stepped away from the door and continued to dress myself. I went to open the door and took a deep breath.

"Then why did she have drugs on her when she was meant to be watching Zola and Bailey!?" Derek raised his voice at Meredith. I had to step in.

"I brought the drugs because I wanted to be in control. When you have cancer you loose control, you hold on to things and try to make sure you are in control. The drugs, i am not saying I wasn't tempted to take them but I just wanted to feel in control. Now  going to a meeting. If you want to continue this talk we can talk later when im at the hospital" I said grabbing my car keys from the counter and leaving the house.

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I walked through the hospital after attending a meeting and let out a small sigh, I was worried about the biopsy but I was probably more worried about what the diagnosis was going to be.

"You haven't been home in days are you okay?" Alex asked a I was waiting for the elevator. As I saw the elevator was empty i dragged Alex inside, I was going to tell him what was going on, he was my person after all. I pressed the emergency stop button and took a deep breath.

"I might have breast cancer. I Found a lump the other day. I've had a mammogram and my blood taken and theirs a mass. I'm having a biopsy today to determine if it's cancerous. I'm scared Alex... I scored, I didn't use it but I was tempted. Really tempted. But now Derek and Mer' don't trust me to be alone around Zola and Bailey and I'm scared I'll loose them." I said admitting how I was feeling. It was the first time I've openly spoke about how I feel and I'm so glad it was to Alex, my person.

"But you didn't and I'm so proud of you for that. I'm not letting you face this alone cancer or no cancer. Belle! You and I we've always supported one another, we've helped one another and if Mer' cant make an appointment then I'm going to come. Always Annabelle" Alex said comforting me with a smile on his face.