Prologue

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"Solace," he called with his low voice that I've been wanting to hear again over the past years.

"What?" I asked coldly remembering what he did to me back then.

It hurts so much looking at him standing in front of me. How he's height towered me. I can still remember how I loved his height before. It made me feel so small and comfortable.

Comfortable, just like how I was when we were still in love... or when he was still in love with me. Did he really? Did he really love me? Our relationship before was my comfort. It was like a breath of fresh air. Just like how the sound of calm waves comforts me.


Not until it became a wild waves caused by a storm. A storm that will make you think if you'd still survive. A storm that will completely destroy a beautiful garden that you took care of with all your hearts. A one storm that will completely change everything.

Just like that one night he said those three words to me.

I thought I was completely healed. I thought I was okay with seeing him again in front of me and act like nothing happened. But I was wrong...

I was so wrong.

Maybe they were right, I think so highly of myself.

I thought I buried those stupid feelings alive, but here I am, forcing myself not to break down into tears in front of him. My heart feels so heavy, it seems like I'll collapse anytime in front of him.

He still has that effect on me. He's the only one who can make me feel different kinds of emotion in a short period of time.

Nakakapanghina... sobrang nakakapanghina.

Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko ito mararamdaman. Kung kailan ulit ako matutulog na hindi iniisip kung saan ako nag kulang. It was like an unending cycle.


Paulit ulit na lang.

"How are you?" Tanong niya sa akin sa mahinang boses.

"I'm doing fine," I replied and force a smile. Hindi ko alam kung nahahalata niyang peke iyon. Katulad na lang noon na alam na alam niya kung ano ang mood ko. Pero noon iyon.

Iba na ngayon. Marami nang nag bago. Marami na siyang hindi alam sa akin. Sa maraming taon na lumipas, kahit ni minsan hindi siya nawala sa isip ko. Siguro ganoon ko siya ka mahal. Kaya nga ako 'yong nag habol sa kanya noon, e.

"That's good." He smiled sadly.

Bakit siya malulungkot? Siya naman ang nang iwan, ah. Siguro malungkot siya kasi hanggang ngayon hindi parin ako nakakaahon. Naaawa siya sa akin kasi para akong tanga. Habang siya, matagal nang naka move on. Nakikita ko nga 'yung mga tagged photos sa Instagram niya, e. Iba-ibang babae... sana all.

"Sige, una na ako," Tumalikod ako sa kanya at mabilis na nag lakad. I almost run inside the condo building para makalayo sa kanya, pero hindi ko ginawa kasi baka madapa pa ako. Nakakahiya naman, ang ganda kaya ng outfit ko tapos madadapa lang ako at sa harap pa talaga niya! Hindi iyon pwede.

Nag madali akong pumasok at sumakay ng elevator. Pinindot ko agad ang floor number ko at humingang malalim.

Nanginginig pa rin ang tugod ko sa nangyari. Hindi ko inasahan na sa ilang taon nang lumipas, magtatagpo ulit ang landas naming dalawa.

Kaya mo 'yan, Sol! Wag kang magpapahalatang tanga ka pa rin sa kanya hanggang ngayon.

Huminga ako ng malalim at minura pa ang sarili ko bago nakarating sa floor ko.





✿ °.*⋆·˚ ༘ ·˚. ༉‧₊˚:✿ °.*

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