The anxious feeling still never leaves my body. I'm not sure if it's pregnancy hormones. I look down at my belly. I feel the only people who might tell I'm pregnant are women, men would think I've just gained a little weight.
I was nervous Sawyer would find out after we fooled around in the barn but he didn't. I'm not sure when to tell him our even how.
I sit alone with my thoughts and take out my art bag. I've been wanting to draw the landscape around the house, it's beautiful especially at sunrise.
I throw my art book across my bed and look for the oil pens I thought I brought.
"Dammit, I didn't bring them. I know I packed them." I murmur to myself as I dump everything from my bag. I notice something sticking out of my sketch book.
I pull it out and it's a green folded up paper.
My writing is on it.
'Sawyer has a habit of taking us through time and erasing our memory when he doesn't want us to remember what we saw. I've written dates and if you don't remember the date then he erased your memory.'
I read out loud to myself. I look at all the dates. I remember most of them except the date that is written from yesterday.
Sawyer must have erased the memory from yesterday.
I scrunch up the paper and hold it close to me. I roam around the house looking for Sawyer. I turn down a hall and finally bump into him.
"There you are." Sawyer says with a smile and he leans down to kiss me but I turn away from him. He scrunches his eyebrows in confusion before taking a step back.
"There you are." I say evenly. He doesn't seem to know how to respond. He just looks at me, his eyes wandering all around my face wondering why I'm upset. We wouldn't have to go through any of this back and fourth fighting if he just told me everything and the truth.
Just like you're telling him the truth. My subconscious buds in and I frown for a slight second.
"What did I do now?" He crosses his arms over his chest, being defensive.
I don't say anything and just aggressively push the scrunched up paper of dates into his chest. He slowly looks down at my hand and grabs the paper from me. He opens it and reads it. He reads every date until he reaches the last one. He's still looking down at it and his eyes wander up to me.
I raise my eyebrows up. Busted.
"What's this?" He has the audacity to say.
"Wow." I pull the paper from him and clear my throat reading it to him likes he's in preschool.
Sawyer rolls his eyes and grabs the paper and rips it up. My mouth hangs open and I push him against the wall.
"You better start explaining because you just broke a promise. You said you'd never erase my memory. What did you erase?" I seethe.
Sawyer looks down at me and smiles.
"I like this new side of you." He says pinned to the wall and I choke him in further.
"Right now isn't the time for you to be turned on."
"Fine." He tries to remove myself from my hold but I keep him there.
"Explain."
"I erased both our memories." He says and I let loose of him.
That makes me feel better. He erased both of ours not just his.
"Was the memory that bad?" I ask.
"I don't remember." He says and I let go of him.
"Please just let me know next time." I tell him and he nods.
