My last book was more focused on "coquette" and more of a guide this is more like an actual diary. This is just things that didn't make sense to put in that book.
This is basically whatever I want it to be. Mostly about my aesthetic but overall just...
I explained this in my last book in coquette terms. But I can go more depth now sense I'm talking about it in my own terms. My aesthetic is based off black culture and y2k girly nostalgia.
My whole attitude, look, mindset and lifestyle is sort of based of y2k mean girls, bougie black girls and bimbos. And I'm really just obsessed with traditionally girly things. Makeup, fashion, skincare, pink, decorating, having a soft lifestyle, You know da vibes.
I don't dislike non-traditionally girly things, dark colors and simple clothing. But I just prefer to stay in a little pink bubble. The only thing I could say I'm obsessed with that's not girly y2k is horror movies. Which is something I'm really passionate about. And recently I've just started watching marvel movies (I'm late I know). But yeah I love being extra and being extra girly.
Another aspect of my aesthetic is kind mixing in the coquette style cause its so retro, girly and soft.
Pics that literally DEFINE my aesthetic and me as a person:
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7.31.22
I've never had a sense of self and I'd literally just hop between aesthetics. But they never felt right. None of them were me. And then Covid hit. And I was forced to be inside all day. And I kind of regressed and was looking at things from my childhood. I guess to look back and find who I was. And I remembered something. I loved y2k fashion and pink and being hyper feminine. And I began dressing and making my aesthetic who I wanted to be as a child. And I don't remember when or what I wore that began making feel like myself. I started to make this my brand in a way. And it made me happy, confident and I felt like myself. Idk something about the hyper femininity , chick flicks, and focus on y2k makes me happy. And I had like a rough idea on my aesthetic and when I watched clueless for the first time I saw the exact aesthetic I was creating In my head. And I just finally felt like myself for the first time.
But the thing is when you dress and carry yourself a certain way people treat you a certain way. So I have been told I look like an adult because my outfits were so put together, I have been told I seem like a positive person, that I look like a supermodel???, that I am super cute etc.
But I've also been told that I'm a spoiled brat, I "looked mean", that I "like attention", that I'm "full of myself" etc.
And of course both those comments have hurt me. And with me being a people pleaser. I have to seriously stop caring about what people think. Because I am so insecure. I really have to be like Idgaf about what you think I like the way I dress so that's all that matters. This makes me happy and makes me feel like myself.
