How I cope || Wilbur Soot

Chapter 19~ it felt worse

"If you want me to stop, please tell me." I turned in his grip so that I was cuddled against his side.

"I will, I promise." He replied. We fell silent for a few seconds before I began to explain.

"I was coming over to your apartment. I don't know why but I was, and when I knocked the door, there was no answer." Wilbur just listened as I spoke.

"And when I managed to get into the house, I still couldn't find you until I heard your phone ring." He looked confused at that part but I just carried on so that it would make sense.

"You were in the bathroom, but, lifeless. It was horrible, everything went through my head. It felt like deja vu, like when they pulled Noah's body from the building. But when I saw you dead, it felt... worse." The image haunted my mind as I spoke.

"You don't have to say anymore, Kenz." Wilbur sounded like he felt so bad but I knew there was a part of the nightmare I needed to tell him.

"There's one more important part though." I informed him.

"What's that?" He let me finish.

"Harper turned up. I remember her exact words were 'You shouldn't have cut me out of your life, Mackenzie Hudson'." By now my voice was shaky and I felt like crying again.

"Oh, Kenz," Wilbur sat up, letting me choose a comfortable position for myself. I sat up as well, holding onto Wilbur like if I let go, I would loose him. "I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere." He whispered to me.

The image of Wilbur and the sound of Harpers voice ran through my head non stop whilst he held me. Although he didn't notice straight away, I was crying.

This is when I knew, I did have feelings for Wilbur. I felt so bad, like I had betrayed Noah but I couldn't just stop living my life because of his loss, right? Wilbur was one of the best people in my life right now and I couldn't loose him.

"How about we go and make pancakes and then head back to your house?" I didn't say anything. I wanted to make pancakes but at the same time, I didn't. I felt so safe in this moment, I didn't want to move.

"Alright then, I guess we're gonna have to do this the hard way, huh?" I held onto him tighter, dreading what 'the hard way' would be.

Before I knew it, he had carried me into the kitchen and placed me on the side top. "I want pancakes." He smiled as I just laughed, wiping the remaining tears from my face.

"Were you crying Kenz?" His face dropped again. I shook my head in denial, even though it was very obvious.

"No, no I'm fine, see!" I put on a fake smile but he just frowned at me.

"You're not fine." He stood in between my legs and hugged me. He was still taller than me even if I was sat on the side. "You can't live like this because of her Mackenzie." Wilbur made a reasonable point, but I couldn't control my dreams.

We stayed in that position for about 5 minutes before Wilbur began to make the pancakes. Non of us spoke, instead Wilbur just kept a close eye on me as he cooked.

"Here." He didn't even try and make me move, instead, he handed me my plate and leant against the side next to me. We ate in a comfortable silence.

Once we had finished, Wilbur took the plates and put them in the sink to soak for a while. "I'll take you home now, come on." Wilbur went to help me down but I didn't move a single muscle.

"Kenzie?" I just shook my head in which Wilbur didn't fully understand what I meant.

"I don't want to." His hand was still out to help me down, so I took it, pulling him in to hug me again, which he did. However, I felt my body lift from the the kitchen side, but I didn't bother looking up, my face was leant into Wilburs shoulder.

I heard the sounds of rustling keys causing me to jump off of Wilbur and look around confused. "Woah, are you okay?" He looked at me concerned.

"You're taking me home?" I asked as he just shook his head and laughed. He lead me out the door and locked it behind him.

"If I'm leaving, I need to get my things." I went to take the keys from him, but he just put his hand behind his back.

"I'm not taking you home to stay there, Kenzie. I'm taking you home to get some clothes and stuff to last you a couple nights." I gave him a confused look causing him to elaborate. "You're gonna stay at mine for a bit until you feel okay to spend nights alone again."

I let out a sigh of relief as we both then began making our way down the hallway. Whilst we were in the car, a thought came to mind.

"Wait, when are you supposed to be going back to Brighton? You told me you lived there when we first met." Wilbur went lost for words. It was like he was in a pool of worry.

"Well, urmm, I go back in a week." My face dropped as he worded the sentence. One more week, and I wouldn't be able to see Wilbur as often as I did now. I guessed the same went for all the others.

"A week?" I repeated as he just began to continuously apologise for not telling me earlier on, but by now I wasn't listening.

My mind was filled with worried thoughts as I thought about how I would cope without Wilbur. I didn't want to loose contact with him, and I for sure didn't want this to be the last day I ever see him.

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word count: 1001