Fitting His Views (texacali)

piece 11

(OK, this one covers a bit of somethin that actually happened in texas- I over exaggerate tho for story telling.)

    Texas was tired as he woke up on the 4th. The day before they had lots of meetings regarding what to expect to expect to be dealing with regarding fireworks and fire safety overall. He remembered Florida joking a lot about it, so he wasn't surprised when he saw a large group chat created that regarded all the states going out to let off fireworks.. truthfully he was in to much pain to deal with it. He glanced at the door and sighed as he peaked himself up off his bed. He went over and locked the door, his anxiety bubbling in his stomach.
    He grabbed some jeans and a button up before moving over to his bathroom to shower. He kept the lights off as he peeled off his clothing, his arm reaching in carefully to turn in the hot water so it warmed up before he got in,  having already set his clean clothing down on the sink. Texas didnt know why he already felt so hot before he got in the shower, but when he got in and the steam filled his lungs it felt even harder. His breath kept hitching over and over while he'd barely got done cleaning his hair. His bones felt like they were burning more than his skin and his chest still felt tight..
    He usually took long showers but he finished in only about 10 minutes, quickly getting out,putting on a binder again, some boxers, his shirt than his jeans, deciding to just put on socks incase he had to go outside quickly, tho he really didn't want to. His head was already filled with booming from even just the couple hour difference- every 4th of July was loud in texas no matter where you were. Why? Well, everything has to be bigger in texas...
     Texas already knew he shouldn't have his binder on because he's barely taken it off recently? It's been to a really bad rate lately, but texas denied in their mind that his binder could really be the main cause.
   Texas went ahead and sat on his bed, seeing it was only 1 pm and they were already trying to get him to go with. Texas had a killing fever tho so he just sorta declined.

Messages

  Fl: @TX ur still one of the only people not responding about fire works

  LA: you missin' out again like you did our last fishin' trip?

  AL: come on, Texas, It's the fourth.

  LA: pleeeeaaase

  FL: you'd be like, the only person left at the house, everyone is doing something, except for Eastern states, and you hang out with them enough.

  TX: I'm telling DC if one more message is sent to this group while I'm in it.
  Message read

     Texas smiled calmly. He wouldn't mind having the house practically empty..  he already knew what was happening, but he'd be damned if he was gonna tell anyone why he was really staying back. He just had to communicate with his cities, drink a ton of water, and try not to goof off to much. Not that he expected to anyway, he had to get some work done and get in contact with his officials..
     He felt scorching hot already.. there was an air conditioner out in the livingroom at the very least. He stood up calmly and went out, seeing most preparing to leave tho.cali was on the couch just watching TV with oregon and Washington.
  Texas tried to just walk past everything happening to go to the kitchen , and yet Florida ran up, "Ok, I know what you said, but please.." He asked it in front of texas, only to quickly snap his fingers, "hey are you alright?" Texas was zoning out, making him seam to not pay attention.
   "I'm fine, florida, just go have fun with the rest the south and whoever else is goin. Just be careful." Texas avoided what Florida wanted to hear. Florida messed around alot, but when it came around to checking up on people, he knew the coastal state wouldn't want to mess around.
   "Are you on fire right now?" Florida just asked flat out as Texas tried to get past him, only for loui to walk over.
   "Aigh, Sha you ok? You know you can tell us bough dat stuff, how long you been burnin?" Texas groaned in what looked like annoyance tho it was mostly pain.
   He grabbed a cup and filled it with ice and some water, "not long, alright? Just go have yer fun, you know I'll be fine. It's not like their as bad as New Mexico's or Cali's right now." With that Texas was glared at with judgment from the gator states.
   Florida shook his head, "Comparing doesn't help stop your fires. Are you I mean, able to turn them off?" To that texas blinked, slowly looking at Florida.
   "Sha, that's like if you done turned off a huricane, Dat ain't how it gon' work." Loui glanced to florida and Florida kinda slowly nodded.
   Texas shook his head, "Flor' I appreciate the worry and what not but I'm gonna be just fine."
   "Just stay in the main area so people can watch you, okay? Stay around people." Texas eyes flashed in annoyance to what Florida said.
   "I don't need to be watched like some kid-"
   "I'll tell Alaska." florida said, cutting texas off who immediately groaned in annoyance.
  "And why in the-... why, would you do that?" Texas glared, looking upset toward Florida.
   Florida thought before whispering to loui, both of them getting mischief holding grins. Texas got a bit worried, slowly taking a step back, about to say something before he felt a spike, unable to speak as a burn flared up In his stomach, making him unable to argue with the other south states who looked happily back toward the living room area.
   "Oh california!" Florida sang, going out towards where the east states were watching TV while loui stayed with texas.
   Texas looked at loui, as he slowly put his cup on the counter. Loui git a bit scared for a second but he saw texas just look down, he quickly was placed with more confusion, "alright Sha, seriously you gotta tell me now if I gotta drag you back to Alaska or som'thin, you ain' lookin great."
    Texas shook his head, simply breathing slowly as he grabbed his glass again, "My cities are bugged and complaining. I'll be fine, like I said. Jus- ay wait no," florida snagged texas, making him look up at a concerned cali.
   "I got the burning specialist, clearly he'll know if you're gonna be fine or not- hey, ow!" Florida shook his hand back and forth in the air after he'd grabbed texas with it, but texas shoved his glass of ice in the coastal state's hand.
     "WHAT ABOUT FIRE SAYS, 'GRAB,' FLOR' ?" Texas scolded him worriedly, but it quickly brought him out of breath again, causing him to grab the counter.
     "Well it clearly doesn't say, 'going to be fine alone in my room,' cmon." That was Cali, who now grabbed texas calmly, pulling him over just to grab off his hat and place his hand to Tex's forhead, "how long did you say you've had fires?"
    Great. Now Texas had to be watched by california.. not the worst outcome but he wanted his binder off, and it didn't seem like that was a possibility. They were tired and, of course, Austin wanted to show up when his hat was off and cali was in front of him. So, Tex just let him. "Hey Friend, we've had fires off and on since may but none of its been record breaking. To be honest it wouldn't be so bad if we weren't in this drought, but most of our Aid is in New Mexico as far as the south aid." Austin said everything very calmly, not minding hanging out with cali, although he did grab the hat back, he just held it at his side. "Your hand going to be ok?" He looked over at Florida, who's eyes were gleaming in accomplishment.
   "Oh, my hand is fine now, you two just have fun." Florida set the cup back down, dragging loui out toward all the other states who were planning to leave.  He now successfully got the gold state and lone star state to hang out all the 4th of July.
   California had nodded to what Austin said, carefully looking over him, "alright, are you gonna be hanging out or is Texas gonna?" As he asked this, Austin chuckled nervously, texas was screaming at him as they spoke.
   "Oh I think he'll show up soon, but for now, anything else you want to know?" His hand with the hat shook a bit but it wasn't moving to be put back on. This mostly just said texas was pissy, not trying to make Austin leave.
    Cali smiled, grabbing the glass, filling it up the rest the way with water before helping Austin out the kitchen and back to the living room; sitting with the other on the couch. "Are they getting worse or better?"
   Austin thought on that, his foot tapping a bit, "well, saying as it's the 4th you can't really tell, if I put it as texas did, it's about as predictable as a... he doesn't want me to repeat that." This made California laugh a bit, nodding.
     "Ill take that as a sign it's going down hill as it stands." Austin chuckled a bit before going still a second.
   "I've gotta go deal with a protest that's slowly becoming a riot but I'll talk to you again soon." Austin gave cali one last smile before returning the hat calmly to his his head.
    California was about to greet texas, but texas was.. already talking. "No, I mean it, ¡ No puedes enviar policías a Austin! It's just a pro....test..." texas met cali's eyes and texas realized he wasn't just yelling in his head anymore.. well, hell.
    "Who's sending cops to Austin?" Cali asked, as he didn't move from how he was basically holding Texas next to him.
     This made texas sigh, shaking his head, "San Antonia wants to send since Austinites are protestin' bout roe v wade and honestly I don't mind them doin that but some other areas are... upset." Cali gave a short nod, understanding the police to protest ratio difficulties. Texas looked at how close he was to cali and moved, "ay, we both know my temperature is still burning rates-" Cali rolled his eyes and pulled texas back over.
   "I seam to recall, oh what was it, last summer when you picked me up when I was, oh, right, 60% on fire? Yeah, I don't mind, Tex, I know it sucks." Cali saw Blush go to Texas face and slowly smirked, "unless it is, you're bothered for a different reason?"
    Texas shook his head, bringing his legs up on the couch so he was more so scrunched up to himself, knees closer to his chest, "Nope, unbothered.." He mumbled suddenly feeling cold, bringing his legs closer to himself.
    California looked at the lonestar state, shaking his head, "you're lucky you're on fire, otherwise I'd go way further, now I'll go grab a few blankets." As cali got up to leave, texas watched as the rest of the states that were going out left. Texas saw oregon and Washington were gone too, but he assumed that they had left upstairs.
   While cali was gone, texas slowly stood up. He had to try and get his binder off.. or something that would cover him enough to let him. He raised his arms but as soon as they were up, not even over his head yet, his vision blurred and he fell backwards, causing him to cough a fit.
    His eyes were clamped shut as he just sat, leaned over his knees. He couldn't breath.. he couldn't even get a grip on the front of his binder to try and give his lungs airway. He heard fast steps steps come up next to him, and it only made him panic more. He was dizzy but whoever.. Cali pulled him upward to where texas wasn't just leaned over. "Tex, Tex, calm down ok? Here," cali brought up the cup of cold water, gently bringing it to texas lips.
   Texas shook his head, pushing the water away carefully as he managed to breath in. He moved his arms around himself as he carefully tugged on his binder in secret, "I'm fine.. I'm fine.." He slowly breathed, looking down again. He felt so fucking weak damn it.
   Why did he have to be so weak in front of California of all people? But their breathing was getting worse, "Tex its ok,  but you have to drink some water.." texas looked up slowly, moving his hand to shakily take the glass. He took a sip slowly, he wouldn't meet cali's eyes. The larger state probably looked pathetic was all they could think. "Ay, Tex.." cali went down on his knee, carefully checking his temperature again.
   Texas took another drink of his water, still not looking to cali before he felt his chest tighten even more.. God what could he do? Gov's gone in dc.. most the states were gone, and he didn't know how he forgot Alaska was camping. The other east states were away upstairs, north state's were.. somewhere? And cali was in front of him, damnit he has to focus, ".. thank you cal," texas looked down more, but he could see California's gentle smile from the corner of his eye.
   California watched texas calmly where they were for a minute before he  stood and grabbed the two blankets he dropped, "do you still feel cold or did you get hot again?" He walked over, setting the blankets next to the southern state.
    Texas was still, he picked at the edge of his binder through his shirt.. what could they do? He has to do something but they can't leave cali's sight now, the east state wouldn't let them. "Can.. can you help me with something?" His voice came out quiet, he was getting exhausted from not being able to breath and the smoke in his state was only adding to it. Cali didn't judge him for his pronouns so.. maybe he wouldn't make a big deal about the fact that they were Afab...?
   California was a bit thrown off, he asked if Texas was cold. "I mean, sure, I don't mind helping with most things but do you want blanket?" California watched texas, who seamed to get awkward, like, very awkward.
   Texas fidgeted a bit, thinking before shaking his head, "nevermind just.. a blanket sounds good.." God he's an idiot,  they'll get their binder off later, right now he's freezing so hell with it.
     Cali frowned a bit but sat next to texas, wrapping a blanket around the larger state, "just tell me if you get to hot, ok? Here," he grabbed the remote and put it in texas hand. He hugged the blanket around texas and was pleasantly surprised when Texas leaned back into the hold.
    "I'm sorry they bugged you into watchin me.. you don't have to,"  texas had turned on the tv and started flipping through different movies, unsure what to pick saying as he sat next to cali.
    California sighed and pulled texas closer to him he saw texas land onto the Amber heard trial and hummed as texas hit it, they'd already watched it once together, but they both skipped a few separately by accident. "It's fine, Tex, honestly I'm happy to be here for you.. I know you leant most your aids out to other states and in return you haven't been helped much..." He felt texas shake a bit and immediately gained some worry, "are you alright?"
    Texas just nodded as a first responce to california, but he had to yank a bit more on the blanket, "why of all things that happen when fires start do I get feelin cold?" He mostly mumbled this to himself, but immediately a second blanket was over him, and cali was holding him close again.
    "You're burning up but your body treats it like a fever, you're just getting cold flash, it's ok..." cali felt texas lean into the hold again and it made the smaller state smile.
     The two complained and laughed at the case on the tv quietly with each other over the course of about an hour, really nothing to bad was happening. It was until 3:30 that anything really bad started. Texas jersey a bit out of cali's hold and he started having trouble breathing, his breaths covering his words. "Please.. hot, take the blankets please.." and cali complied, getting both blankets off of texas and he set them aside. Cali grabbed texas water from the table and handed it to him calmly.
     "Drink some water, I'll get another cup of ice water from the kitchen." With that cali did what he said he would before going back to the southern state. When cali got back, he saw texas shaking a lot, only having drank half the glass. He traded the glasses they were holding, than pushed Tex's hand gently so the glass of ice water reached their lips, "drink more, Tex, it'll help."
      Texas drank a bit more of the water, sighing once he got another air to really breath enough to do so. To that cali chuckled softly and sat next to him, pulling an arm gently around the southern state, which was quickly leaned in to.  "You really don't like getting help do you?" To this all cali got was texas drinking more water, which he rolled his eyes. "Can you at least tell me if your getting cold again, firefly?"
    Texas tensed a bit, "... Firefly?" He felt cali's grip loosen, yet texas leaned towards him more, "I'm freezing, now why firefly for a nickname?" Cali put the blanket back around texas, holding him calmly.
   "I mean... or.. well.." cali spoke slowly, unable to come up with an immediate explaination, "would lightning bug be a closer.. label for your state?" Cali tried to joke, and texas did honestly laugh a little.
  They both sat there silently for a little bit before texas finally spoke again, "why can't you say things I can tease you over when I'm not burning alive?" To this cali laughed some, holding Texas closer, which texas leaned in to still.
    "Like I'd leave you," cali mumbled this, which made texas turn red. Cali giggled a bit, setting his chin on texas shoulder, looking at him calmly, "you still cold?"
    Texas swallowed having cali so close to him making them just a little nervous. He looked to the opposite side of where cali sat, his shoulders tensing, "Please don't leave..." by this cali was thrown off off but he carefully pulled texas further up on the couch before leaning back to where the other state was comfortably on top of him.
   Cali smiled softly when he felt an arm wrap around him and figured he'd consider it a win as he then glanced at the tv,  only to look back at texas..  he seen this part enough times to remember what happened. "The fires are getting worse now, huh..." as cali spoke he didn't say it as a question.  He knew they had to get pretty bad for the lone star state to want close affection. Personally,  cali loved giving it so it didn't bother him,  but he understood.
     They both went back to calmly watching the court case after that,  with cali reminding texas ever so often to drink more water.  While texas appreciated it,  he hated how much it made him have to move around,  honestly just making him wish he could just lay still instead.. until he said screw it and did just that the next time cali told him to drink water.
    "Texas, drink some more water,  you've just been sipping off it.." when cali got nothing tho, he slowly narrowed his eyes, "are you seriously ignoring me right now?" Cali leaned up a bit,  which in turn made texas do the same,  causing the larger state to huff in annoyance.
    "I drank enough Quail, how many times have you refilled that glass by now? " when Texas stopped speaking he actually looked to meet cali's eyes and he instantly regretted it,  sorely moving to grab the cup immediately after he saw the anger building up... probably should've remembered how much cali hated that nick name before he used it..
     "If you weren't on fire already,  I would catch you on fire, " cali stated this in a tone that showed he was ready for an argument, but texas just looked back at him.
    As texas looked at cali,  they seamed to think for a second before he spoke,  "didn't the others go off to set of fire works in your state perimeter?" Cali rolled his eyes when he saw texas avoidance, making texas huff, "ok, ouch, I'm very hurt by that statement and it shows me not to be mean by callin' you Quail ag- damn it ow," he fastly gripped his chest at the end of his sarcastic little speech,  making California quickly go forward.
    "Is it trouble breathing from smoke again?" Texas fastly shook his head, pulling against his own chest.  Damn it,  he needs it off really bad now.. bathroom?  No he couldn't make it that far his head was too light.. he could try and get Cali to leave for a minute, but like that was likely.. Good God it was hurting at this point,  maybe he could at least have cali get him a hoodie or..
     As texas started to have a coughing fit again,  his glass hit the table and he was gripping his sides vigorously. Cali frowned,  he didn't usually have it this bad during bad fires, and when it came down to it he knew texas wouldn't usually Crack from these small ones,  "Tex of there something I can do, tell me."
     Texas slowly stopped coughing but he scored back on the couch,  bringing his knees to his chest as he just slowly breathed.  He stated at the glass of water,  trying to figure out what he should say.  What could they say?  'Hey cal, just so you know I'm trans,  anyway,  can I have a hoodie?' God he'd sound dumb.  And what if California just hated him?  He supports people but.. what if not texas? Maybe he'll just call texas an idiot and out them, than what? He'd be a laughing stock of the south and..
    Texas hadn't realized they'd started to hyperventilate before they saw their hat tip up from in front of his eyes and their's met cali's.  "Tex,  hey,  it's ok,  what's wrong?" California saw texas glossed over eyes and it made him worry, more that is. Tex's breath slowed a bit as he saw cali's eyes and soon enough he spoke.
    "You know how I asked um... if you could help me with somethin earlier?" For a solid minute now Austin's been telling texas it would be fine,  and finally he listened enough to bite the bullet.
    "Yes, and I told you earlier that I would be glad to, " cali reminded softly,  still just right in front of texas.
    Texas thought slowly about how he wanted to do this... initially when he tried to take off his binder he crumbled back to the couch.. maybe he could just ask for a hoodie and then.. No, he trusted cali, and nothing should go wrong.  "Well.. I've had on this thing for.. a lot longer than I probably should have and I'd restricting my breathing and uh.." He looked down,  not meeting cali's eyes.. fuck it hurts really bad, he literally has to now,  "thatthingis-.. that thing Is a bind.. binder.." He swallowed again, shakily moving his sleeve over with his hand incase cali didn't know what he meant.  "I'm.. I'm trans.."
    Texas eyes were clamped shut now, God cali must hate him he hasn't spoken yet, he was probably about to tell everyone he was a trann-
     Cali's arms were almost immediately around texas,  holding them close. Cali's head leaned softly against texas neck and shoulder and he spoke reassuringly to texas, "first I want to say I accept you,  and next I need to know how long you've had that on," cali got just a bit more serious towards the second bit, which immediately caused texas to gulp down.
     "Off and on.. a.. about two weeks?" Cali immediately looked at texas face;  which had a nervous smile. Cali groaned,  shaking his head.
      "Alright,  that has to have done at least a little,  probably not permanent, damage," he shook his head,  standing up fully with a sigh,  "c'mon, up in my room I have hoodies and clothes you can just overall wear that isn't button ups. I think I had a compression tank-top you can put on underneath if you wanted that's pretty comfy."  The end was mostly just cali mumbling off but texas appreciated it.
    As texas stood,  he immediately got light headed,  needing to grab cali's arm who grabbed him worriedly. "... I've um.. had it on for a minute.." cali sighed,  looking at texas.
    "Alright,  I'm not risking you breaking your neck from falling down the stairs from lack of blood circulation, so do you want me to carry you or just go grab the clothing? " To this texas blushed, looking back over toward the tv.
   "I'll.. wait for you to grab the clothes.." to that cali nodded,  gently pushing  texas back down to the couch before going off to grab the clothing.
   While cali was gone, texas kinda just sat there, realizing he actually was able to tell cali he was trans.. Cali wasn't upset or anything- ok, he was upset about how long he had their binder on but that was it..? How did he not just basically hate them? Texan positions have done so much against trans people he was expecting something, like maybe to be called a hypocrit of some kind or.. anything but cali just.. accepted them.
    'Told you,' Austin said this in such a happy, matter of fact way that it made texas role their eyes.