Poetry Collection

And Upwards

And not once during those years did I feel uplifted,
And not once during a kiss did I feel loved,
And not once during those intimate moments we shared did I feel my soul bared, but rather inspected,
And not once during your words of love did I feel I could believe them.
It was a roundabout relationship of midways and half-truths,
It was a bundle of white lies and black hands,
It was the best poison and the worst cure,
It was what I needed if what I needed was what I wanted,
It was you, plain as day, drowning me in an emotional twilight.
It was me, thrashing and praying for air while you gulped it from my lungs,
It was us, snapping at each other's head while unwittingly biting ourselves instead,
It was a mirror of our worst qualities,
Growing and twisting the best we had to offer until that became an ending.
It was the friends we swore we didn't have and it was the family we hoped we'd never make,
It was the painful relief running down our cheeks in that coffee shop because we knew it had finally caught up to us,
Us.
You and me.
You, and me.
I, alone, watching half of my life besmirched by hurt untold, kept silent.
You, alone, wondering why I always found it easy to forgive you and yet also to forget.
Us, apart, hoping that time will heal and space will foster but all we did was fester in our throes.
We always knew this is how it'd go.
And now there's only onwards left.