The pretty boy from the song (Boyxboy)

Chapter 18: Stand up

Sam's perspective
I am so DREADING this trip. It's the morning and everyone is standing outside, putting all their bags in the bus. I stayed with Alex and Jason for the days before this, wich really made me put things into perspective. I wasn't sure how I would handle this trip, but now I have THE perfect solution. I'll just sneak away to Jason and Alex, not sleeping next to him. With him, in one tent? Next to eachother? Nope. Ms. Weasel is telling everyone to help load the bus so I get in as soon as possible. I don't want to be here. I get in, thinking the bus is empty. But when I look up Parker is staring at me. I roll my eyes and turn around, but he calls me. "Hey, Sam wait!" I turn around. "What?" I ask him, in the most annoyed tone I can find within myself. "Well, just wanted to say that we should try to get along on this trip, since we're sharing a tent and all..." I stop him. "Okay, no. Because I wasn't the one being a prick. This isn't different, this doesn't change anything. And besides, I'm not sleeping with you." He frowns. "I AM NOT SLEEPING IN THE SAME PLACE AS YOU, you know what I meant! You're arrogant, you're mean, you're-" "Wait." He stops me. "You're not gonna share a tent with me?" "OFCOURSE NOT." I tell him. "What do you think?" "But you have to. They said we have to." He tells me. "I do whatever the hell I want." I tell him and go outside. The moment I want to get out, Dean gets in with some of their friends.

"What's going on here, Williams? Is he bothering you? Come on, fly away. You know, don't wanna catch it." He tells me. His friends are laughing. Parker isn't. I close my eyes and smile, then I turn around. "You know, for a so called straight person you sure talk about queer people alot. Sure that there's nothing more going on? You're with, what? 12 people? That's more than one for each day! Never too late to try." Parker chuckles. And Dean looks like he will kill me. "You find that funny, don't you? You fucking-" He moves closer to me but his friends hold him by his arm. Yeah I should've expected that. My eyes widen. I put my arms around me and close my eyes. Parker moves through them and walks to me. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He snaps at Dean. "Hey, are you okay?" He asks me. I'm not, to be honest. Because my mind flashes back. "What, you're not going to say that-" Dean starts, but Parker shuts him up. "Dean, can you shut the fuck up? Like actually, can you shut the fuck. up? You know what happened to him, you fucking idiot. You're not coming close to him ever again." "P-Parker, I'm fine..." I say, but I say it so silently that I know he doesn't believe me. I want to go but I also want to know what he's telling him. "Relax, Williams. I was just joking anyways and-" But Parker doesn't let him speak. He goes off. "But you fucking weren't, tho. You fucking weren't, because this isn't the first time, you've been doing this for years! We've all, been doing this for years. I was so fucking stupid to do that too. Is this really how you all wanna be? The truth is, you're a fucking asshole man. You're a terrible, terrible person. And you're all not any better. We're all not any better. Because we've all been just blindingly going along to whatever stupid shit he's got to say, when you all know, deep down that it isn't okay.

Charlie, you have a gay brother. What the fuck are you doing? And Chris, isn't your sister bisexual? Because you told me. And Carlton, isn't your nephew trans? Protect these people.What in the hell has he ever done to us? Defend himself? Is it somehow HIS fault that you can't find something clever to say back? I'm actually done. I don't want to be friends with you, Dean. We all need to get our shit together." I stare at him with wide eyes. They don't say anything and just stare at him, just as shocked as I am. He asks me again. "Are you okay?" He says it softly. Well, I am now... I nod. "Williams, if you think like that you're off the team!" I hear him say. But it's fastly followed by a "No he's fucking not, shut up." Coming from Chris. What is even happening...

Parker's perspective
I'm getting him the fuck out of here. Jesse nods at me and I nod back. I softly push Sam out of the door and take him to the table behind the bus, away from everyone. We leave in about 20 minutes anyway, I just want to make sure he's okay... His breathing is a bit unsteady.

Sam's perspective
I thought I was over this. Why am I still not over this? My mind flashes back to the graduate students that drunkenly beat me up. It flashes back to the laughing and the slurs and... I can't ever. Not stand up for myself because of that. It's honestly the only good thing that I took from that. To always stand up for yourself. "Hey..." He smiles, while gently rubbing my shoulder. "Hey, You're okay. He's not going to do anything to you, I'll make sure of that." I look at him. "But why?" "Because you don't deserve that. And I'm so sorry." I nod. "How the sudden realisation?" I ask him, calming down a bit. "Well, I found out that the gay people that I hung out with are a 1000 times more fun then my friends. I've been wanting to say something for a while but... I didn't dare to. I was a coward." "But why now?" I ask him again. "Because he was going to hurt you. And I will never let him do that. And that goes for everyone." I smile weakly. "You hurt me. It wasn't physically, but you've been a not so nice person to be around." He nods. "I know. And I'm sorry. I know thats not enough and I promise I will do more research. I want to be a better person. I promise. I will try and help where I can." I can't really process this right now. "Thanks." I tell him. he thinks for a second and put his arms around me. And it's not a quick hug, it's a real hug. My eyes widen, but we both relax into it. Parker Williams is HUGGING me? After a while, he whispers something so soft, that only I hear it. The wind takes it. "Please don't sleep at another tent, I promise I'll be nice." I smile into our hug. Because that is pretty much still going... "We can try. But if you're too annoying, I leave." I warn him. He nods. "If I'm too annoying I sleep outside." I laugh. "More room for me." He playfully nudges my shoulder with a small "Hey!" We both laugh.

Parker's perspective
Finally. I finally said something. And it felt amazing, I should've done it alot sooner. I had alot of time to think in those 2 days. How I wanna be, who I wanna be. It's nothing like Dean, It's nothing like my dad, It's me. How I want. to be. I hope Sam is okay, just seeing him having to deal with this was the last drop. I'm so glad he's not letting me sleep alone tonight, because I missed him. And I feel myself wanting to be around him. And to be honest it scares me, because I don't know what that means. But I can't seem to stay away either. Because I don't want to. And unless he wants to, I'm not going to. He smiles at me. I'm going to change. I'm going to do better.