Fits Like Ass On Bucket || Rindou x Reader

10 • ristretto

"Did you have a fun morning?" Ran smiles at you as you enter the kitchen. You stare at him, face blank and legs shaky. "What?" You question his words, pretending to not understand them but the older Haitani doesn't buy it.

"Come on. It was hard to overhear. How was it? I want all the little details."

His smile is evil and you can't help but shudder at the way he says the last line. "None of your business." You turn your head, ignoring the Annabelle look-alike to make yourself some coffee. Ran boo's your from behind, calling you a killjoy. His face is serious but you know he doesn't mean it. Ran is quite the charmer but not a good actor when it comes to his facial expression.

"Morning." Tired and a little groggy Rindou walks into the kitchen. He doesn't pay his brother any mind, probably he hasn't even noticed him. Ran is usually still asleep at this time after all.

He tightly wraps his arms around your stomach, nuzzling his face into your shoulder from behind. He squeezes you a couple of times before loosening his grip and resting his chin on your head. "As much as I love that you two are doing well I hope that I don't have to wake up this way more often." Rindou turns his head to look at his brother, you stay still, eyes fixated on the coffee brewing.

"What do you mean?"

Ran chuckles but before he can answer his brothers question you cut in. "Maybe we should be a little quieter from now on, Rin." You hear Rindou cough loudly before clearing his throat to silently apologize to his brother. Ran laughs before exiting the kitchen, going back to his room to, most likely, go back to sleep.

"I can't believe Ran heard." Rindou sighs dramatically before wrapping his arms back around you as you pour yourself a cup of coffee. "It would have been a miracle if he didn't. We were quite loud." Another sigh ends the conversation and you walk out of the kitchen with Rindou still attached to you.

"Wanna drive around the city today?"

You ask while drinking your coffee, Rindou lying on your lap across the couch.

"Yes please, anything to get away from Ran."

• ~ ~ ~ •

You sat on the bathroom floor, crying. You had been crying for ages by now, eyes swollen and tear ducts emptied out.

You didn't know how much longer you could deal with it. You didn't know how much longer you could hide your crying sessions. Because as good as you've become at hiding your tears, Rindou was bound to figure it out one day or another. Either from finding out himself, or Ran finding out and telling him.

When you started dating Rindou, this wasn't the future you imagined to live. This cold and heartless life of a gangsters girlfriend isn't what you wanted.

When you got together with Rindou you expected him and Ran to at least change up their ways a little. You didn't want them to complete give up their lifestyle but you had hoped they would try to keep you out of harm's way. Out of gang affairs and away from all the evil things happening around them. But they didn't.

When you were both younger all the Haitani's did was rule Roppongi, now they got themselves into trouble so deep they can't dig their way out of it. And Rindou dragged you right down with him. Or rather, you willingly went with him, staying by his side even when things got sketchy.

Now that past decision is biting you in the ass.

You deal with thugs and drugs, prostitutes and constant parties. Ran and Rindou have a reputation to uphold as the rulers of Roppongi, even now as the underlords of the prestige part of Tokyo.

And you hated all of it.

The constant parties always ended up with you either vomiting or having to drag two drunk men home. The illegal drugs almost got you arrested multiple times and the prostitutes had you crying as they told you about Rindou's visits.

You loved him, dearly, and you have no doubt that he loved you too. But with the way you're living it would be unusual to not walk this path in your relationship. At the beginning he had apologized for taking you with him but you simply held his face and told him you're in this together. Now he doesn't even apologize when one of his or Ran's favorites overstays her welcome in your shared apartment.

There was never a time in your life you didn't ask yourself what you could have done differently. Should you have broken up with Rindou? Should you have let go when things got ugly? Should you have killed yourself sooner, like all the times in the past? The time before Rindou. You still remember all the terrible futures you've seen and all the horrible ways you ended your life.

Hanging, drowning, cutting, overdose, hell you even managed to shoot yourself with a gun you bought illegally once.

This time is different. You have Ran and Rindou. But even now you stand at the edge of your apartment complex, overlooking Roppongi, the place you grew to hate. You already prepared a message for both Ran and Rindou after getting up from the bathroom floor. You wrote them both your true feelings as well as your secret of future vision. You had mentioned it in the past but neither ever took you serious.

Taking a deep breath you open your eyes to look at all the lights of the city illuminating the night. As beautiful as it is, it will look real ugly in a second when your body makes contact with the concrete below.

"To a new future. Don't let it get this way again past me."

Your voice reaches nobody, but you hope that past you, the you that sees this future as a dream, will be able to hear them and think of a way to prevent this pain from ever happening.

You've rehearsed this a couple of times, but you used to catch yourself on the railing before you would start to fall. Now you don't. You simply let your body fall, feeling the wind in your hair and the tears in your eyes. You don't smile, you don't shout. You're not angry or sad. You're in absolute peace with yourself even moments. . .

. . .before your body hits the ground.

• ~ ~ ~ •

You jump and sit up, gasping for air while immediately feeling over your chest, arms, face. It doesn't take long before violent sobs echo around the room, your body shaking as it's reminded of the terrible future, experiencing all the futures pain at the same time.

It also doesn't take long for Rindou to wake up. The blond gets startled awake, immediately checking on you only to see you cry and sob and gasp while tightly gripping onto the skin of your arms. "[F/N]!" He holds your hands, probably afraid of you ripping your skin. And you totally would. All you wanted was to rip the skin right off, scratching the itch deep inside your body.

You chant no's over and over, shaking your head while rocking your body back and forth. You barely hear Rindou calling out to you, panicking at your panic. He calls your name and asks what's wrong all the while holding your hands away from you. He does it to protect you, you know that, but there's nothing worse than his hands on you as they burn and itch your skin.

You know Rindou hasn't done anything wrong yet but a part of you can't help but remember the way he acted in the future. You despise the Rindou of the future and a part of you wants to tell him that. But a bigger part of you wants him to prove himself right now. You want him to hold you, to assure you and to kiss the dreams away.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't." Crying out your thoughts leads to more panicking from Rindou, as the blond starts to ask more questions. You repeat your words, ignoring your boyfriends' voice. The only thing that assures Rindou you'll be fine is when you lean your head on his shoulder, crying and sobbing while chanting about how you can't take it anymore.

Not knowing what to do the blond stays silent, holding you in his arms and rubbing your back. When you show signs of calming down, he starts telling you he's there and you're safe. He does it until your breathing evens out and your cries fall silent.

You calm down roughly half an hour later, eyes feeling heavy, mouth feeling dry with a headache already starting at the back of your neck.

Rindou doesn't ask any questions and instead lays you down with him, holding you close to comfort you. You fall back asleep shortly after.