ᴍᴀᴇᴠᴇ ᴡɪʟʟɪᴀᴍꜱ
𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐃 with the wall behind me. His hands were on my waist. In my hair. On my cheek. He cursed under his breath. I said something. What did I say? Images of us flashed until he pulled away from my lips--his forehead resting against mine, panting. He looked at me, grinning like a devil. And then he pulled out a gun and shot me in the chest.
I fell into my father's arms. He let me bleed on him. He let my blood soak his shirt and dye his skin. My body collapsed into the soil of California. "Stay with me, Maeve," my dad whispered. "I will heal you. I will put bandaids on your wounds and give you pills until the pain stops. I will hold you when your wrists split. I can make it all go away. You can run to me."
Guy Germaine put a bullet through my heart, but I had let him.
☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆
𝐈 𝐉𝐎𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄, my head nearly hitting the top bunk as I sat up. Sweat coated my body. I felt for injuries. Nothing. My chest lifted and dropped with each pant that passed through my lungs. I was alive. I was okay. It was a dream.
Sunlight began to peer over the horizon. A glare from a car outside the window caught my eye. It was early enough that the halls were quiet--but feet shuffled across the rug and voices whispered.
Someone was squeezing my brain. It hurt.
Julie and Connie were still sleeping, not likely dreaming of getting murdered. I reached for the orange bottle of ibuprofen and water on my bedside table. My hands shook. I don't remember when I last took them, but I needed them now.
I couldn't sit still and wait for the meds to kick in. I needed out of this room and its vibrating walls. I needed Adam. I needed to stop everything--all this movement and blurry vision. I needed to close my eyes and allow myself to fall down. And just like he always would, he'd let me.
"I think I'm losing it," I said when he opened his door.
"You're up early," Adam observed, peeking back into his dark room. "The guys are still sleeping. Let's go somewhere."
He led me to the beach. The sand was soft and cool under my feet. The sky was still transitioning from sunrise. I couldn't see anyone but us for miles. If it was up to me, it'd always be like this. Just me and Adam. Just Adam and me.
"I had a dream about him last night," I started. "Guy, I mean."
"I'm listening."
"It was weird. I think I'm going crazy."
"How are the two related, exactly?" Adam asked, drawing a smiley face in the sand.
"I can't stop thinking about him."
"I don't think that makes you crazy."
I looked at him, watching his dark blond hair push into his forehead from the wind. I couldn't find words that would make him understand. I couldn't say what I was really thinking, and that scared me. If I couldn't tell Adam, I had no one. All I could do was hope that he would read my mind and say it for me. "You don't get it."
He met my eyes. I already saw the gears in his head turning. "You guys kissed, didn't you?" I didn't need to nod. He already knew. "Tell me about it."
"It was...I don't know. I didn't know how much I had wanted it to happen until then. It was rough at first--abrupt and urgent--but then he got all gentle. Everything about it was just so...Guy. It felt like something I had never experienced, but also something I had done a hundred times before."
