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From: Yang Jungwon
People praise me for handling my feelings well,
when truthfully, I'm just keeping my feelings buried deep inside.
It's like putting a pillow around my face.
The tighter I put the pillow all over my feelings,
the more suffocating it felt.
Was it really something to praise?
When I knew that if I continue to fill a bottle that's already on its brim...
I'm bound to break it?
They say that you will only regret something once all is too late...
Would mom stop venting her anger towards me if I die?
Would my sister finally get the attention she always hated me for unknowingly taking?
Would my father finally get a grip of himself and finally act like the man of the house?
It was tempting to just die and disappear,
especially when it was the only mere hope I could think of in finally getting their attention, love, and care.
But then,
regret is something I never liked feeling,
so, I don't want to be the cause of their regret.
especially because they are close to my heart.
Still... I'm torn.
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