Been married for almost two years now.
A very unusual marriage. I can say na its not the usual marriage that is full of love, a fairy-tale like, ours is a marriage full of hate and regrets.
You might think I over exaggerated our story, but no.. literally, ours is a marriage full of negativities.
Our story started when I got into mess and somehow he became the solution to that mess. Tanga nga siguro ako, kasi i was not able to distinguish the difference between real love and a trophy love. Well now i know na.
I was a trophy girlfriend back then, you know, everyone envied him for having me. Sabi nga nila, ano pa hahanapin mo? Not physical aspect ha, I don't think physical aspect is a primary basis of choosing someone you wanted to be with. So un na nga, madiskarte ako sa pera. Meaning, d ako nauubusan. Im educated, may itsura naman, and super generous sa lahat ng bagay, including sex. In short maipagmamalaki to your friends.
God gave me all the signs to get out of that kind of relationship, but i was not able to. D ko alam kung bakit. I was so hooked to him and to his family. Yes I am so comfortable with his family and felt so very welcomed. Maybe because I was different. They know na I can put meaning to their son's life, kaya siguro ganun.
It was a very toxic relationship. I can't even tell of anything na I remembered being so happy and kilig. Walang ganun. All I remember is pain.
But still, i didn't get out of the relationship. Yes I failed God.
I failed Him for staying with the wrong guy.
He gave me all the reason to leave pero I chose to stay. So kasalanan ko nga.
Eto pa malala, I am married to this guy. So lalong walang kawala. And now I am suffering.
It's 22nd of July, weeks before my birthday, so yes eto na nga.. xempre pain na naman..
And i think malas nga talaga ako.
