destiny decried

heaven denied

The letter took Leon aback.

Somehow, even after all these years, Reese has always been relentless. A worrier. Always looking out for everyone but herself. Deep in Leon's heart she knew how difficult writing that letter was for her lover... former lover, and she didn't want to let the day go by without responding.

Their children used to make fun of them for writing letters to each other and having it delivered to one security to the other's.

Leon and Reese would always say, 'If your Tita and I only met in university, we'd also write letters to each other as if we're far apart. This is the original telegram, kids!' and their children would laugh, their hearts would swell, and they would always wait for their parents' letter deliveries for each other as if it were their own.

Never ceasing, never ending.
Just like the love their mothers have for each other.

Leon felt happy, genuinely happy, even just for awhile, just by thinking about the times their families have spent with each other. If only it wasn't the greatest love of all time occurring in the wrong time.

It felt like an impulse decision, but Leon commandeered the car key from her security.

'Iikot lang ako. Kailangan ko lang umikot.'

It was strange, her aura, but her security felt as though it wasn't his job to ask more than he's told. So he complied. He could see, though, how sad Leon eyes has become compared to when she was prior to reading Risa's letter.

'Ma'am, tubig?' it was an innocent gesture, supposedly, but, both Leon and her security knew that they're both aware of the sadness that has succumbed to Leon and it was his gesture to reach out.

'Thank you, Sarge. Nainitan lang kasi ako, ang humid ng panahon ngayon.' Leon responded.

'Kabado rin ako ng kaunti. Ang daming tao, tapos wala si Francis.' She added. However, they both know that it was a big fat lie.

Driving has never ceased to become such a breather for Leon. It was just a few minutes behind the wheel, but a breather is a breather, nonetheless.

She's now backstage and could see Reese's likeness. This sortie would go on as if it was the only thing that was in Leon mind, but little do the people around her know, that her mind and heart is elsewhere. Somewhere where only she and Reese know.

Leon was beyond exhausted. Her exasperation was different today, and the only thing she yearns for is her soft, cool bed.

Initially, she was going to meet the event organisers at Café Lyon for a quick dinner and thanksgiving for their exceeding efforts and unending support—but her plans went into a different turn the moment that she received Reese's letter. She has to reply tonight.

It's a pretty good thing Leon is Leon when she needs to. Her gigantic tote carries a whole lot of things that girl's scouts would. She rummaged her bag and sifted through her stationery full of craft papers and different pointed pens.

It would have been easier typed, and better said, but if this was going to be their afterthought, then she wanted it to do the way Reese would somehow feel... familiar, home.

She wore her glasses, not to read this time, but to write a last letter to her lover.

"My Therese,

It has been awhile since I've received a letter from you. But boy oh boy, was I so happy to be able to smell the lingering scent that comes attached to your letters. Most of the letters that you've given me no longer smells like you.

When they said time heals all wounds, they didn't tell me that the things that the one you love gave you would fade along with it. Although, I think on the brighter side, the words and the familiarity that comes along with it still brings me to the home we never had.

I would never stop apologising for never bringing you to the home I once promised we'd build and share together.

Hindi pa rin talaga naalis sa'yo 'yung pagiging maalalahanin mo, ano? Oo nga pala, isa 'yan sa mga dahilan kung bakit kita minahal at kung bakit kita patuloy na mamahalin hanggang magpakailanman.

I understand, and I feel the same way. It's funny how the recent book I've read comes in handy in times like this. A supporter gave me this book named 'The Price of Salt' and I know you're familiar with this because you once forced me to watch the movie, but the book hits different, I wish I could have shared that moment with you. Just like the moments we've shared when we've finished our films, or our books and we'd stay cocooned with each other on the couch; thinking about what could be and what could have been with the respective characters.

Now, all we have left is to think about what could be and what could have been for us.

When Carol said, "...but you will understand this one day. And when it happens, I want you to imagine me there to greet you like the morning sky, our lives stretched out ahead of us, a perpetual sunrise. But until then, there must be no contact between us. I have much to do, darling, and you even more.

Please believe I would do anything to see you happy and so I do the only thing I can: I release you."

I remember you on my lap, your feet extended on the end of couch, crying because Carol had to let Therese go. Even when Carol's marriage was coming to an end and being together was the next big thing for Carol, even when Therese's future plans were already tied to where Carol is.

You even told me, 'Parang tanga minsan ang universe. And I know you don't hear me say this, and this may sound unlike me, but I hate it when there are no happy endings for people who truly, deeply, madly love each other with no holds barred.' And you cried, and weeped and I hugged you as tight as I could.

I wish I could do that again, but I can't. So here I am writing to you, manifesting that life may never give you that kind of heartbreak. Be it from a person, or a movie, or a book, I hope you never have to need my hug. I hope I never have to feel the need to give you that hug.

But it's stupid, and next to impossible, so this is also me saying that if you ever need that hug, I will drive a thousand miles to give you that hug, even if I can only give it to you for a second.

Your happiness trumps mine, always, and so I agree with what you've said. Keeping ourselves dipped onto each other's lives as intimate as we used to will bring us back to square one.

So just like what Carol did to Therese, and in the name of your happiness, I release you, Risa.

In another lifetime, I'll never dodge the bullets if that's what it takes for me to spend forever with you.

Ikaw at ikaw pa rin sa susunod na habang buhay, Mahal kong Therese.

Always yours,

Leon."

Leon prayed hard as she closed the letter. She prayed to the gods and goddesses that she hopes their lives would take a turn where they would end up where Carol and Therese did, together in the end.

Even if it takes them decades. Leon would wait for her and Reese's happy ending.

Even if it takes decades.