destiny decried

we'll be a fine line

How does two years worth of love just go down the drain in a snap? How does choosing their happiness, for the very first time, seem selfish? ill-fitting? reckless?

The Cappadocia weather hasn't been forgiving for the past few days, except today—Therese's wedding—somehow the skies approve.
At least the skies approve.

Unstoppable.
Destined.
Meant to be.

"Ma, go ahead and pose. I'll hold the end of your gown." Isabel couldn't be more excited for her mum to tie the knot, most especially in her dream place—Cappadocia, Turkey.

Our dream place.

The scenery is surreal, the floating hot air balloons couldn't be more unreal—even when you've been in it, from afar, the other hot air balloons seem to appear like an animation from a movie.

Her family and close friends flew to Cappadocia for this special day. In the height of the Narcos regime, everyone felt as though this trip wasn't only a celebration but also a breather from the suffocating governance that is the Narcos administration.

"Ate Is! They're calling you for approval of some stuff, there's some sudden changes sa menu raw." Ian bellowed.

"Tita Leon, can you take over muna?" Isabel left as swift as a fox and I was left holding the end of Therese's gown, watching the love of my life beam as the Cappadocia sun landed a kiss on her skin.

It is awkward. Or painful. Or it's not something I'll get used to. Or all of the above.

"Ok, Smile! Smile Sen. Therese!" The photographer howled.

"Ok, si Sen. Therese and Sen. Jerome po!"
I was out of place.
To be stuck in this mess of a shoot feels like a personal attack to my very being, but I chose this.
I chose to stay and be here.
I'm choosing to be here for Reese.

The urge to whisk her away from this place, steal a hot air balloon and be gone with her elsewhere.

To be anywhere but here, to be somewhere with her.

"Ok, Atty. Leon, 'yung mag-asawa po muna."
Iyong mag-asawa muna. Mag-asawa.

The call to move from where I was standing had me frozen for a few seconds. I didn't want to put down the end of Therese's gown, I didn't go further as I already am away from her. I don't want him to be closer to her than I am. I will not move.

But I could see him coming forward. I could see his devious smile—which I think looks that way to me because I love her and I want her to marry me, but no, he is devious. He is devious, I think, I hope... I hope not—and I back away. I see Therese turn her head as if to check my presence, and I hurt, because somehow, those happy eyes of hers look as though she was pleading for me not to go further than I already am.

But I have to be strong. She can't think twice about this, and she can't get cold feet, not when she's finally happy with someone who can give her the daily peace of loving plainly, not when she's got freedom in the midst of dystopia.

Flashback...

Everything has been in place. Two years worth of planning and envisioning of how perfectly everything would go is now coming to life, it has come to life.

I'm out of words. My feelings, seemingly, could only be shelled out in three words:

Elated.
Stoked.
Relieved.

Elated to do the surprise of a lifetime.
Stoked to marry my woman.
Relieved that we've come this far to go farther than we could only imagine back then.