My Parents House Series

Why My Father Never Allowed Smoking In The House.

"Jesus Christ Bill! It's like 19 degrees out here! I'm fucking freezing! Can't we just smoke inside?" Melinda asked shivering, practically "Hot Boxing" her cigarette.

You see, Melinda is my girlfriend.

We've been together almost 3 years now.

She has met my parents before, but this is the first time she has ever been to their house.

Now, as I was saying, Melinda is a couple inches shorter than me, slightly chubby, with fire engine red hair, ocean blue eyes, and pouty lips.

She is absolutely beautiful.

I, on the other hand, look like Jon Heder, when he played Napoleon Dynamite, except I have bushy brown hair.

I don't know what the attraction is, but I'm glad for it.

She says that I have a great sense of humor, and that I make her laugh all the time. So, maybe that's it.

But you don't really care about that! Do you?

Anyway, I looked at her, and sternly answered, "No! Dad's rule!

"Why the hell not? He's not even here!" she said, slightly agitated, smiled, then batted those beautiful little puppy dog eyes at me.

I melted inside.

I took a deep breath, sighed, then answered, "Lets finish our smokes, go back inside, and I'll tell you why!"

Ok! Fine!" she answered, bouncing up and down to stay warm I guess.

We finished our smokes, tapped them out on the bottoms of our shoes, and tossed them into the old coffee can that my father keeps on the back step.

My father also smokes.

He used to smoke a pipe, but now he smokes cigarettes.

Anyway, Melinda and I are house sitting for my parents this weekend.

They're in Atlantic City, at some casino, and are staying there until some time tonight. 

Now, the house that I'm referring to, is an old Colonial style house, painted white, with black shutters.

It was built in 1839, around the time when indoor plumbing was made possible.

The house is three stories high, and consists of a large living area, with a beautiful picture window, overlooking the backyard, a decent size dining room, an industrial size kitchen, with a back door leading to the back yard.

For some reason, there's a two foot space on the side wall of the kitchen, that appears to have been boarded up, as the piece of wood sticks out further then the wall on either side of it.

There's also a good size parlor, with a fireplace, for which my mother and father turned into their bedroom, a full bath, under the staircase, and a huge laundry area, with three massive washing machines, and three equally massive dryers, and that's just on the first floor.

The second and third floors are exactly the same. Exactly!

You get to the top of the stairs, and there is a little foyer area to your left, and a small "bedroom" on your right, with a long dark hallway in front of you.

There are six very small "bedrooms" on each side of the hallway, totalling thirteen rooms per floor, so that's 26 "bedrooms" in all.

All of the "bedroom" doors have a 10 inch by 10 inch square window in it, at eye level.

It's kind of creepy, especially at night.

Anyway, there's a shared bathroom, with three shower units, at the end of the hallway, with a staircase on the right hand side of the second floor leading to the third floor.