Incorrect Merlin Quotes

~22~

Arthur: The Ocean is a soup.

Merlin:

Merlin: Do elaborate.

Arthur: What is needed for something to be a soup?

Merlin: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.

Arthur: *Tilts head*

Merlin: The Ocean is a Soup.

Arthur: The Ocean is a Soup.

Arthur: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.

Merlin: I will politely decline.

Merlin: How come you've been abnormally nice to me lately?

Arthur: What do you mean?

Merlin: You just seem nicer than usual.

Arthur: I'll punch you in the face if you want.

Merlin, to Arthur: "You sure you want to do that for me????" I am literally in love with you don't test me. I will happily trot to the ends of the earth for you. 

Merlin: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.

Arthur: Jokes on him. I'll ruin his fucking life.

Merlin: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Arthur: What did you do?

Merlin: Nobody died.

Arthur: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Arthur: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Merlin: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Arthur: But you're always acting stupid?

Merlin: ...

Merlin: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.

Arthur: I just wanna be called cute 21/7.

Merlin: Why not 24/7?

Arthur: Snack breaks.

Gwaine: Alcohol is delicious! ...I mean, MAlicious. Sorry guys, I'm really drunk right now.

Merlin: Is this mistletoe?

Arthur: Uh, no, no, that is basil.

Merlin: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you.

Arthur, not getting the hint: Yeah, no, it's still basil.

Arthur: Hey, Merlin, can you do the thing?

Merlin: What thing?

Arthur: The thing that makes me happy.

Merlin: Oh. *Smiles*

Arthur: Thank you.

Merlin: *Mindlessly flirting with Arthur*

Arthur: *Actually flirts back*

Merlin:

Arthur:

Arthur: You're not gonna say anything?

Merlin, panicking: I don't know. I didn't think I'd get this far.

Gwaine: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Merlin: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents.

Gwaine: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.

Elyan: Actually I did the math, Merlin would have $225, not $0.15.

Merlin: Fam I'm right here....

Percival: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Gwaine: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Percival: Sorry I only have a dollar.

Gwaine: :(

Elyan: Hey, I just realized Merlin would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.

Percival: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.

Elyan: You can buy anything you want with $22,500.

Leon: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice.

Elyan: Apply juice to what.

Arthur: Directly to the forehead.

Merlin: Great chat everyone.

Arthur: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT!

Merlin: ...