6,000 Miles (Station 19)

Lost in My Mind

Adelina's POV

During our run, Maya and I passed a small ice cream shop on the edge of the park. We only made it a few paces past it before we looked at each other and simultaneously stopped running. We both nodded silently, and walked back to get ice cream.

I ordered a scoop of pistachio and Maya got a scoop of chocolate; no shock there. Once we had our cones, she led me over to a tree and we plopped down on the ground in the shade. We sat quietly together for a few minutes before Maya spoke up.

"Thanks for running with me," she said, turning to give me a soft smile.

I smiled back.

Maya turned her head back, looking out at the park.

"Running has always been a way that I clear my head. It helps me forget about everything else and just feel centered for a while."

She glanced over at me again. "Does it ever do that for you?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I sighed. "It really does."

"It can be really hard to get stuck in your own head," Maya continued. "I don't know if you know this, but I had, or have I guess, a really complicated relationship with my family. My dad he... well, he gave me a lot to be in my head about."

She paused and I let her words sink in. I definitely understood what that was like.

"Anyway," Maya continued. This time I turned to face her. "Running always helped for a little bit, but once I was standing still again, the thoughts came back. Eventually, it all made it hard for me to live my life the way I wanted to. In fact," she leaned forward a little for emphasis, "it almost made me lose your sister."

I tried to hide the surprise on my face; I had heard a little about that from Carina but she didn't tell me much, and I didn't know it was that bad.

"And of course, Carina knew before I did that I'd need some professional help working through all of it, finding longer lasting tools than just running. I didn't want to hear it though, I thought I knew better," she chuckled a little, "which I guess isn't surprising."

I laughed a little, but kept listening.

"But eventually I gave in and started talking to a therapist."

My eyes widened. "Really?" I asked.

"Really," she nodded. "I still do from time to time. It's helped me a lot to figure out what's going on in my head and how to work through it. So that all that  isn't controlling my life, I am."

I turned away from Maya, looking back out at the park and then down at my ice cream.

"It sucks when you feel like you're not in control of your own life," I heard myself say. The sound of my own voice surprised me; I wasn't planning on telling Maya anything but it just came pouring out.

"I keep crying or lashing out, even when I don't want to. And even when I tell myself I should do things, like run, or read, or any of the things I usually like to do, I just can't. It feels like I can't control anything, and I feel so overwhelmed all the time, just by the things in my head."

Maya touched my arm. "That's not a fun way to feel."

I shook my head. "I... I didn't realize people went to therapy unless they had something wrong with them."

"Well not wrong wrong, but you know like something diagnosable."

Maya chuckled a little. "All kinds of people go to therapy for all kinds of reasons," she said with a soft smile.

"Do you..." I started to ask, before stopping myself. I turned to look at Maya and she gave me an encouraging nod.

I took a deep breath. "Do you think a therapist could help me feel more in control again?"

Maya let out a sigh and gave me a big smile. "Yeah, Addie, I do." She looked relieved, and for a moment, her calmness helped me feel calm too.

"Will you help me figure it out? I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Of course," Maya replied. "Carina and I are always here to help you with whatever you need."

I leaned over, putting my head on her shoulder and linking my arm through hers.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

Carina's POV

It was late, a little after 10pm, when I finally got home. I had been dealing with a patient emergency for 8 hours and was exhausted. Walking through the door, I smelled something good coming from the kitchen. Maya was washing dishes, so I quickly dropped my things and went over. Standing behind my beautiful girlfriend, I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder, breathing in the smell of her shampoo.

"Thank you for getting Adelina from school today," I said quietly.

"Of course, baby," she said, turning to kiss me.

"So," I said, as I stepped aside and sat at the counter in front of her. "What did you guys pick up for dinner? It smells great."

"We cooked, actually." Maya said casually. "Here, we saved you a plate." She turned to the fridge, pulled a plate out, and put it in the microwave to heat up for me.

"Hold on, did I hear that right? You cooked?"

She laughed, "Okay well Addie did most of the cooking and she gave me little tasks to help. But the food is good either way."

I shook my head and chuckled. "I'm glad you guys had a good time together."

"Yeah, we did." She smiled in a way that told me there was more to it than just dinner.

"What am I missing, bambina?"

She told me that she and Addie talked and that my sister had agreed to try therapy. My eyes immediately filled with tears; I was so relieved. She made me promise to let Addie come to me with it on her own, but explained that she wanted me to know.

I kissed her with a huge smile on my face.

"But wait," I started. "How did you get her to open up to you?"

"I took her for a run," Maya said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I laughed. "Of course."

I kissed her again. "Thank you bambina. For everything."

Addie's light was off when I walked past her room, but I peaked my head in to see if she was awake so I could say goodnight. She was fast asleep, so I snuck in and placed a gentle kiss on her head.

"Sogni d'oro bambina," I whispered. "Ti voglio bene."

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Author's Note:

Wow, that was so much faster than I was expecting! Here's the next chapter as promised. You guys are the best :)

Also, for anyone who speaks Italian: please let me know if I'm messing up phrases lol I'm just doing the best I can with google