Rich People Problems

xxvi | pride before the fall

KIMBERLY

I DON'T KNOW what came over me. The withdrawal was definitely getting to my head.

Because—due to the words of an obnoxious husband—I was standing in front of my confused dad, gaping like a damn fish.

Gigi and Ana left for their annual birthday tradition of getting ice cream from a local parlor and going to a drive-in theater while Jace and Camelia were talking outside. Thankfully, after Jace and I left, everything continued on as normal because of the lack of the obvious tension.

Jace suddenly walked in, silent encouragement mixed with confusion in his eyes. It was weird to know that he wanted me to do what I wanted to do without even knowing what I wanted to do.

He confuses the shit out of me.

I'm too sober for this.

But there was no backing down.

"Stand up, please." The last word came out as a shaky breath, causing Dad to look at me with alarm and worry, like he has for the last few weeks. At first, I didn't know what it was all about. After Jace told me that Dad thought he would trigger me, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt.

Even though our relationship became rocky, I still loved him. I wasn't the best at telling him because he wasn't the best at telling me.

But that's how we worked.

So, for him to genuinely feel like I could hate him to the point of wanting to be completely out-of-it in his presence broke my heart.

Where did it go so wrong? I knew where, in all honesty. But, how could I let it get this bad?

Of course, there were times when I did want to be drunk or high to avoid another lecture, but I never wanted to be drunk or high because of him.

God, this is all so confusing.

"Is everything okay?" Dad asked, alarmed at my sudden demand, but still complying.

I could feel the tears coming up, so I kept my mouth closed. There was no doubt in my mind that I would emotionally vomit all over him if I dared to open my mouth.

Everyone was watching the two of us with wide eyes. It's been a while since Dad and I had a conversation without it ending in an argument, a fact that only added to my heartbreak.

The tremble of my hands had a complete mind of their own as they came up to his tie. I began undoing the knot. Trying would be the more appropriate word considering how I was shaking.

"Kimberly, what are you doing?" he asked again, pure confusion in his tone.

It wasn't the first time he called me Kimberly, but I still choked on a sob. He used to never call me Kimberly.

How did it get this fucking bad?

I pulled the tie off and straightened it out before flinging it over my shoulder. Dad stopped with the questions and just watched me as I popped his collar.

Just like I used to.

I brought the tie back around his neck and began going through the motions that were once so familiar to me.

I guess a part of me never wanted to forget.

After I finished tightening the knot—careful to not choke him the way I almost choked Jace—I fixed the collar. From the bottom of my heart, I don't know what compelled me to do this. But, for some reason, it felt right.