Aberration; Tom Riddle

XVI

T O M

He watched as Estelle turned around, her hand tightly clasped around her wand. Merlin- everything had gone downhill since that day. This had all happened because of her, what was she doing to him?

 
Tom thought back to the moment where he had finally admitted to her that he couldn't get her out of his head. This seemed out of place for Tom. He couldn't help but feel like something was pulling him into a different direction. In that moment of realisation, the subtle but powerful voice at the back of his head got louder, whispering vile, almost contagious words into his head. It was never this bad before. 

For the first time in Tom's life he felt out of control and it terrified him. It was like he was losing control of his own body. As the voice got increasingly restless and kept on repeating 'kill her', his hand had automatically reached for the wand in his pocket. There was no second thought. Tom was about to follow its orders and kill her. He managed to stop himself by digging his fingernails harshly into his skin, which momentarily helped Tom to gain influence over his own conscious. What frightened him more was that when he tried to resist this unknown force, his body would start to burn up and twist from the feeling of his bones splintering into pieces. From this experience Tom realised one thing- whenever he was with her, the voice would grow louder and stronger. What was she doing to him? Why did it only react to her?

It somehow made the hate he held for her grow. 

He fucking hated her. She had made him weak. Tom vowed that she would not get in his way anymore.

After that, whenever Tom went near her, or even thought about her, the voice would whisper the same wretched words into his head: 'kill her'. He tried everything to resist these commands, starting with distracting himself with pain, hence the bruised, bloody knuckles. This only worked for a certain amount of time. Of course, the consequences were more painful than his actions, first it would start with random cuts appearing on his body, to the feeling of his organs being cut and crushed into pieces. After two weeks, he was exhausted- his body could not take it anymore. It was a hundred times worse then when he made his first horcrux. Perhaps he should follow the constant, wretched words in his head, maybe after that it would stop. However, he couldn't get himself to follow through. Tom wanted to believe that it was because he didn't want to mess up his carefully articulated plan but deep down he knew he was hesitant about killing her. Even this thought made him angry. Who was she to have such a hold on him?

Tom even tried to find a cure or information about whatever he was experiencing, he didn't know if it was a 'curse' or backlash from making his first horcrux. He did think it was a possibility as he had exchanged a part of his soul for immortality. However, he was not able to find any solid evidence and he couldn't piece together why the voice only reacted to her- it didn't make any sense. The only piece of information he had was when his cuts started forming a word: 'follow'. What did that mean? Follow what or who? His mind and body was exhausted and he couldn't help but fall into the unknown voice's trap.

Tom had no strength to fight back. The endless nights of reading various books to the sensation of his bones crushing whenever he went near her. 
In the end, tom thought the best solution was to ignore her and act like she didn't exist it, so that he would hopefully gain control over his body again. She was not worth the pain.

 However, when he saw her hunching over from pain, he couldn't help but want to approach her and say something- anything. He was so stupid. Instead of just ignoring her, he decided to try to read her mind because he wanted to know what was going on. 

The feeling of being conscious in your body but not having any control scared him. SO WHY DID HE TRY TO READ HER MIND. WHY DID HE GET INVOLVED WITH HER.

"what do you want Tom. You asked me not to leave but you aren't saying anything." He could tell that she was pissed.

Suddenly, Tom snapped out of his thoughts. He faced her and looked right into her eyes, something churned deep within his soul. He felt the unknown voice fight with him for authority. All the nerves in his brain, signaled the same words over again.

KILL HER

KILL HER

KILL HER

Tom had to end it once and for all. She would not be the reason why his deepest ambition would not happen. He was certain he was going to rule the wizarding world. He was going to gain control of his body again, once she didn't appear in-front of him. 

She was not going to bring him down.

Once she was gone, everything would return to its rightful, original place. He would make sure that she was too frightened to ever come near him. Tom would do anything to get this fucking voice to disappear. "I have a last few words Estelle." He walked towards her with a almost evil smile. "I swear to god, if you appear in-front of me and try to talk to me again, i will not hesitate to kill you. This is a warning".

"What makes you think you could kill me", she challenged. 

"Oh Harper- you don't want to mess with me. I for one have no remorse, so killing you would be the same thing as killing a pathetic bug." Tom watched her carefully. 'Hate me Estelle. Hate me.'

"You really are a inhumane, piece of shit Riddle. One day you're going to regret all your actions," she declared.

"I doubt that".

Tom didn't stop her when she walked out of the classroom this time. Instead he watched her disappear from his sight. He hoped that the voice would disappear- he hoped that this was good enough. Nevertheless, the now smaller voice kept on repeating the same sentence over and over again. KILL HER KILL HER KILL HER.

He slammed his fist against the rough wall, leaving imprints of his blood. 'Enough' he said to himself, hoping that the voice would give him at least a few moments of silence. Even a second would be sufficient enough. Tom wiped his fucked up hand on his trousers as he left the classroom. He reassured himself. In the future, when he would make his second horcrux, everything would go back to normal. He would no longer think about her. He would no longer be overpowered by the voice in his head.

He would no longer be distracted.