Decade | | Azriel

11

Kyla was trying to go about her days like she normally would, but everything felt wrong.

All she could think about was Azriel, the possibility of him coming and taking her away. She couldn't fight him, especially not if he chose to try to take her from here instead of her apartment. This would be the slightest bit easier since he already knew where it was, but he could find her apartment without any trouble if he chose to. If he came here and she tried to fight against him, he could wreck the entire building with everyone inside.

Her thoughts stayed like that for the most part, even as she met with clients for their appointments, all she could think about was the horrible idea of Azriel forcing her out of here.

There was a part of her, so small and hopeful, that believed he could be better, that he wouldn't do what had been done to her before and worse. But hope was so dangerous. How could she go in with nothing but hope and feel like she would make it out alive?

Despite that, despite knowing hope wasn't something that could ensure her survival, she ached to believe in Azriel's goodness. He was good to her for a decade already. He was her only client who bothered to stay back and soothe the pain he gave. He was the only male since Hal that she had slept beside. The first few nights Azriel had stayed overnight, Kyla hadn't slept, but bit by bit she felt comfortable enough to sleep next to him. That meant something, didn't it?

That fearful voice in the back of her mind reminded her that she had once felt comfortable sleeping next to Hal, before he showed his true face. But Azriel had been this same person for a decade. Why would he flip now? Hal only played the kind, loving act for just long enough to gain her trust. Azriel had been at this for a decade and didn't even know she was his mate until now. Why would he have kept it up so long if he was just playing a role?

Quyn believed he was good, but even she couldn't deny that the bond could change that. Maybe the Azriel she had known for the past decade was good and kind, but that didn't mean the bond couldn't change that. Maybe he was good, maybe everything had been real and not some long running con to get her trust. She hoped it was real. Even if that Azriel could be gone now and replaced with something vicious, she hoped their past had been real.

It was foolish to hope for anything. So terribly foolish, but she couldn't stop her mind from drifting to the way Azriel smiled at her, from how he so gently pulled her close to him, how he cared for her. How could that be fake? How could he have faked that look in his eyes? Hal had never been managed to fake a look like that.

She wanted to believe in Azriel, she realized with some bit of horror. She wanted to give him a chance that she knew full well she might not live to regret. It was terrifying and could blow up in her face but she wanted him.

It had been so long since she wanted like this, since she let herself soak in that feeling. She could still remember when she first started truly wanting Hal in that brief time when everything was good.

Kyla paused at that thought. When everything was good. But was it ever truly good? Can the manipulation, the lying to her face to make her hand over her heart and her trust really ever be called good? It was a lie. Every good thing with Hal was a lie to win her over, so was any of it truly good? Azriel never lied. He showed every dark, cruel part of himself, showed her every wound in his skin and his soul. He showed the bad as much as he showed the good. That was something Hal never did.

It was terrifying, utterly terrifying, but Kyla knew for certain that she wanted Azriel. She wanted Azriel, his goodness and his darkness and every scar inside and out. She wanted him. She wanted him and it scared her to her core but she knew it was the truth. It was a truth she wasn't ready to share with him yet, but she could at least let herself accept it. She knew what Quyn would say, that it was a big step for her to even face it herself, that even that much was brave and it was okay that she wasn't ready to tell Azriel yet. And she wanted to believe it.

It had been nearly two weeks since she had seen Azriel. She kept his appointment booked despite knowing he wasn't coming. Part of her hoped he would show up and they could talk, but she knew he wouldn't come. There was something comforting in that knowledge, in knowing he wouldn't push. He was waiting for her. Hal hadn't done that. Hal had paid her parents to hand her over for marriage when she had no interest in it. Azriel waited, he waited for her to go to him and say she was ready for the discussion they so desperately needed to have.

Another week went by, and it was Friday again. Azriel's time. She had sent a letter to his apartment through the club's delivery service. She didn't want to just show up at his apartment, because she wasn't sure where he stood anymore and wanted to give him the same respect he had given her. So instead of showing up uninvited, she sent a letter—an invitation for him to come. And now she was waiting. It felt a little odd waiting for him on a Friday night fully dressed and not in some lingerie she picked out and spent an absurd amount of money on impulsively because she thought he'd like it.

His appointment time had already started and he wasn't here yet, and she found herself nervously pacing the halls outside of her room. She couldn't blame him if he didn't show up. She had learned that he could feel things from her through the bond and knew it was likely horrible to feel all the things she had felt. She couldn't blame him if he needed more time too, and she had said as much in her letter. Her Friday nights would always be open to him, and he could show up whenever he was ready.

She hoped he would come tonight, but she would understand if he didn't.her pacing ceased and her heart skipped a few beats when she saw a shadowy figure. Something about it felt off, but there was no one it could be other than Azriel. He was the only one who wielded such control over shadows.

She smiled at him, hesitant and nervous but still so happy he came. He came for her, and she smiled. The shadows revealed nothing. She waved him into her room, and her senses went on red alert when she heard the flick of the lock. That was a rule even Azriel was never allowed to break. The door was always to stay unlocked.

Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong and she could feel it deep in her bones.

Azriel never broke the lock rule, never even asked permission to do it. He didn't know her history until so recently, but he was always able to tell that the unlocked door meant something to her and never disrespected that. But the door was locked now, and the shadowy figure looked over her with the promise of violence.

She knew then, as she stared at that locked door, that whoever was in this room with her was not Azriel.