As the group are left solitary in the middle of the ruined city Luna begins to speak.
Luna: What do we do now?
Alpha: Runaway, live in obscurity somewhere deep within the Appalachian mountains and be humble.
Luna: Don't give me that shit, Alpha! There must be SOMETHING we can do!
Jorg stares off and into the distance at the blue and yellow signage of a best buy store.
Jorg: I have an idea!
Luna: What?
Jorg pokes out his chest and begins marching off into the distance towards the nearest “Best Buy”.
Jorg: Follow me!
He waves towards his compatriots with his faithful dog marching closely behind as he continues to march throughout the ruined city.
Luna: Why’s he walking!?! I just hotwired this car...
Luna mutters to Alpha as Jorg continues to stomp his way proudly through the shattered glass and steel wreckage littering the city’s streets.
Alpha: You know what? We’re pretty much fucking screwed anyway I see it, but if he’s got an idea I definitely wouldn’t risk overwhelming the squadron of half a dozen brain cells he’s managed to get working in unison towards a solution. If we distract him he’s likely to forget what’s going on entirely and that’s just not a risk I’m willing to take right now...
Luna: No.....no you’re right. Let’s just walk.
And so the bunch heads towards the store off in the nearby distance. Jorg marching in the front with the pup waddling close behind. Alpha, Luna, and the future of the very world as we know it now resting on the tiny shoulders of a manic little alien and his faithful dog.
Once at the entrance to the store; Jorg marches inside and begins grabbing one bluetooth speaker after another as a cashier stares vacantly in his general direction.
*Jorg glares back at the cashier and then stomps his way towards the counter, kicks over a series of display cases and then climbs onto them in order to get eye level with the cashier at which he leans forward and squints menacingly.
Jorg: I AIN'T PAYIN FOR SHIT!
The cashier grins widely back at Jorg and shrugs carelessly.
Cashier: It's all free love here baby!
Jorg: GOOD! Seems we have an understanding!
Jorg reaches over into the cash register, presses a button to open the register and takes out a handful of cash that he gives to the cashier.
Jorg: Now go buy yourself something pretty!
Cashier: Wow! Thanks mister! This is enough to pay 1/8th of my rent!
Jorg: You’re fuckin’ right it is!
The cashier proceeds to take off his shirt and sling it in circles around his head.
Cashier: FUCK THIS JOB! I’M RICH! I CAN GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND FINISH MY LIBERAL ARTS DEGREE!
Jorg: Drain that swamp, mama!
Cashier: WOOH-WOOH! I’M FREE! I’M FREE!
Jorg: Free as a flyin’ squirrel!
And as the cashier runs out of the store, screaming at the top of his lungs Luna turns to Alpha and speaks.
Luna: I never thought I’d see the day Jorg would become an American folk hero.
Alpha: He’s a regular robin-appleseed, that one.
And they both begin to laugh aloud as Jorg continues to grab as many Bluetooth speakers as his shopping cart can carry.
Back and forth Jorg marches in and out of the store trailed by his furry companion dumping speakers in the back of a Ford Raptor pickup truck.
Luna: What are you doing Jorg?
Jorg grins at Luna with a wide eyed stare.
Jorg: BAIT!
Suddenly, a television within the store tuned in to a news network plays a trumpeting official sounding melody with the words "SPECIAL BULLETIN" in bold red lettering across the screen.
A news correspondent appears with his shirt ripped open and a necktie tightened around the crown of his head like a headband:
News Correspondent: THIS JUST IN! There is no right, there is no left, there are only ideas and people. And I have spent the entirety of my career manipulating those people for the sake of clicks, views, and the pittance of acknowledgments from people who do not matter and never should have to begin with. Because those people belong in a pig pen, in an animal farm. In summary; I am a piece of shit and now I am going to waterboard myself on live television until I have paid for my sins. This COULD take awhile...
Alpha: If we're going to do something we should probably do it now...
And so Jorg finishes loading the last of his speakers into the truck bed and turns them all on.
Jorg: Luna!
Jorg says in a high pitched commanding tone.
Luna: Yes?
Jorg: Lemme see that thingy!
Luna: What "thingy"?
Jorg: The thingy you used to play music.
Luna: ........my phone?
Jorg: YES!
And so Luna hands him her phone which Jorg snatches out of her hand; shakes like a saltshaker and then holds up to his earholes.
Jorg: .......It's not workin'.
Luna: Just get in the damn truck and tell me what you want and I'll do it!
The three quickly seat themselves into the cab of the melodically modified Ford Raptor, Luna twists the ignition of the truck which promptly responds with the low rumble of the engine which grumbles, chugs, and spats loudly as Luna impatiently pumps the gas pedal while gazing into the rearview mirror.
She watches in solemn amusement as Jorg chews on his own tongue, puckered out the side of his lip in a careful fixation as he gently stuffs the fat little puppy into a child’s car seat within the back of the cab. The puppy squeaks softly with each measure of Jorg jamming the creature awkwardly into the car seat as he grasps the nearest seatbelt and wraps it around the car seat several times methodically until apparently satisfied with the outcome.
Luna: ......All set Jorg?
Jorg: SAFETY FIRST LUNA!
Alpha turns slowly towards the backseat of the cab and glances at the other two passengers. He stares at the puppy in the car seat blankly as it whimpers muffled little whimpers, masked by the several layers of seatbelt wrapped snugly around it’s head.
And then Alpha turns his gaze towards Jorg who is seated next to the puppy with his hands in his lap and a wide eyed, maddened grin stretched unnaturally across his small little alien face; to which Alpha sighs loudly to himself and shakes his head from side to side apathetically.
And so Luna presses a button on her phone as a rhythmic, indecipherable vocal melody begins to blare out of the speakers carefully aligned in the bed of the truck.
Luna: Jorg, what the hell IS this??
Jorg grins back at Luna’s glance through the trucks rearview mirror and answers giddily.
Jorg: BOSSY SABULBA BY NETTA!
Luna: Do you even know what that means??
Jorg pauses for a moment, thinking carefully and then excitedly shrugs his shoulders.
Alpha sighs once more.
Alpha: Fuck it...
And so Luna puts the truck into gear and slams on the gas pedal as the tires of the truck spin and burn rubber before shooting into the street and throughout the ruined city.
SSSSSKKKKKKRRRRRT!
As the sound of screeching electronic notes and guitar melody, accompanied by half indecipherable vocals blast from the bed of the truck and throughout the city streets the truck peels out once more, drifts around a curb and rockets towards the city’s auditorium where the “star gate” lies.
Suddenly, nearby machine elves begin to roll and spill into the street all bouncing up and down and speaking in unison.
Machine Elves: OOOOOOOOHHH!
As the truck drifts around another curb and shoots through a street light an adolescent can be seen standing on the sidewalk watching two adults play hopscotch.
Adolescent: SLOW DOWN! THERE ARE KIDS PLAYIN HERE!
Even more Machine Elves spill into the street in pursuit:
Machine Elves: OOOOOOOOOHHH!
The truck flies by a fire station where a fireman is outside with a hose attached to a fire hydrant he is using to lubricate a large hippopotamus with water.
The three all look in awe as the truck passes by; seemingly in slow motion.
More Machine Elves spill into the street
Machine Elves: OOOOOOOOOOHH!
The truck speeds and speeds through the city and passes by an innercity recreational facility where a KKK klansman in full hooded regalia is playing bball with a group of ethnic kids.
A horde of Machine Elves spill into the street
Machine Elves: OOOOOOOOOHHH!
Now; with the army of Machine Elves in hot pursuit and the truck nearly back at the auditorium; Luna speaks aloud to the other two.
Luna: HANG ON!
As Luna accelerates the the truck it speeds even faster towards the auditorium.
VVVVVVRRRRROOOOM!
And then she slams on the brakes:
SSSSSSKKKRRRRRT!
BANG!
The truck crashes through the entrance to the auditorium and comes to a screeching halt; it’s occupants quickly jump out of the vehicle.
Luna: WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME!
And so the three gather all the speakers they can and rush into the auditorium placing them throughout the building as fast as they can.
As the Machine Elves spill into the building en masse...
Just as the Elves gather into the building the three now stand back to back with the elves gathered all around them.
Machine Elves: HI JORG!
Jorg waves in response enthusiastically.
Jorg: Hi guys!
Luna: Jorg! What do we do now?
Jorg shrugs his shoulders in an unknowing gesture.
Jorg: I dunno....
Alpha: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU "DON'T KNOW"!?!?
Jorg: I said I had an idea, I didn't say I had a plan...
Alpha: YOU IDIO-
Jorg looks around confusedly
Jorg: HEY! Wait a minute.....Where's Alf?
YOU ARE READING
Kinder Cosmic: Part 3 - The Heralds Of Awakening
Science FictionNot long after the previous Kinder Cosmic... It is a most special event! The unveiling of a new piece of technology that NASA has recently developed will soon take place within an auditorium of which our heroes have all been invited as honored gues...
