Worshipping For Dummies

4. Not again...

Kyle's pov.

Here's what you need to know about punishing children.

First, there must be a reason. You can't just take one look at your child's ripped clothing and blood moustache and assume something's up. Even though, if that's the case, you should probably seek help...

Secondly, once you have a reason, you better hope it's a good one. So what if he went into the girl's bathroom? SO WHAT IF HE KICKED SOMEONE'S FACE? You have to analyse the situation. For instance, CLEARLY, I AM INNOCENT!

"Kyle." Mother started.

The kitchen was quiet. A breeze bustled outside. The clock ticked peacefully in the background. Naturally, after finding out what happened at school today, I expect a parent to be worried for me. Maybe even aid me considering what I went through. Ask questions. Be supportive. That kind of thing.

So I almost choked on my tap water from what she said next.

"You are grounded." She spat.

I blinked. "Why?"

She buried her face in her hands, groaning. What kind of parenting is that? See, already she was making this awkward for everyone. Dave cleared his throat, and I flashed my eyes toward him.

"I think he owes us an explanation." He explained. "And an apology."

I nodded, then stopped. Apology?

"What did I do?" I squeaked, taking another sip of water. "I'll tell you what happened," (with a few exceptions, obviously) "But don't expect me to eat humble pie or anything. Nuh-uh. Not happening."

An awkward wave of quietness fell over us again. Dave swallowed, breaking the silence.

"Son-"

"I'm not your son." I interrupted.

He looked at the tablecloth in shame. "Okay then." He swallowed again. "Pal-"

"I'm not your pal either." I shuffled my chair away from the whole table. "Look, what is this whole talk thing? A joke? 'Cause I'm having a great jolly-o time." I snorted, wiping a tear from my cheek. "Is it about the embarrassing shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhi- I mean, sugar, you saw on the TV? Or are you-"

"SILENCE!" my mother roared.

My eyes widened, and I gulped hard on a mouthful of water.

"Child!" she snapped, and I sat upright in my chair. "When I saw you on the TV, my heart split into two." She curled her hands in a heart shape, slowly moving both hands apart. "I couldn't believe you had the audacity to be such a degenerated, bone-headed excuse of an offspring!"

Ohhhh, I realized. She's trying to convey her message with emotional appeal. What an amateur.

"What you've done is DISGRACEFUL-"

"DIsGrACeFuL," I mimicked, letting my tongue hang out my mouth. "Is this about that brawl I had? Come on, even a headless chicken would cut me some slack for defending myself." I picked my nose. "It's not a good reason to ground someone."

Mother furrowed her brows and gritted her teeth. "You..." she growled.

Huh?

"Touched..."

Oh shit.

"hIsSsSSs..."

Don't say it...