𝘛𝘖𝘓𝘌𝘙𝘈𝘛𝘌 𝘐𝘛 ⇢ r.bowen

17

ELIZABETH'S POV- March 13

At first, my heart leaps. They broke up. They're over. Ricky=single.

Then I immediately feel bad for even getting a little excited. What am I doing? Ricky's my friend, obviously he's hurting. And Nini, she's my friend too... god. What is wrong with me? Am I a bitch for that?

"I... I don't know what to say. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Miss Jen, she, she got a call from the people who run the Menkies or whatever. They said they got a tip from someone that we were going to add Nini's song, and told us that if we did we'd be ineligible for the contest.

Nini wasn't at rehearsals when Miss Jen told us though. She was at Slices, trying to find a quiet place to work on her song. Miss Jen asked me to go tell her, so I did. She was pretty upset, but I said maybe that wasn't a bad thing. Then it turned into this whole fight.

She was mad because apparently I didn't support her, but her song, I felt like it was literally about me! I mean, come on. It was about feeling trapped in a relationship, and, I don't know. She's just been acting different ever since she got back from YAC. And when I brought that up, she got even more mad at me.

You know what she told me?"

"What?"

He lets out a breath. "She... she said she didn't come back for me. I mean, I didn't want her to stay for me in the first place, but I guess I kinda thought she had come home partly because she missed me, you know? But it turns out, she didn't come back for me at all. It was just because she hated YAC and lost her love for acting. Which she then spun around saying she didn't want this rose role in the first place and now she was stuck with it because I pressured Miss Jen into giving her a part."

I didn't even know what to say. Ricky turns so that he's now laying down with his head in my lap. Droplets of rain drip from his hair onto my legs.

"I thought I was doing the right thing." He says after a long beat of silence. "I thought she would want to be in the play. I thought she might've just been too scared to ask Miss Jen. And now I've ruined everything. God, how could I be so stupid!" He sniffles loudly and wipes his face into the front of his shirt.

"You're not stupid," I say, but I'm a little distracted. All I could think about was the fact that Ricky wouldn't have had to go to the restaurant in the first place had Miss Jen not gotten that call. And whose fault was it the call got made? Mine. So is it my fault they broke up? Why Ricky's so sad?

"Maybe she just needs some time away. To cool off, you know?" I say, but I'm not sure if I'm reassuring him or myself.

"No." He says, "you don't understand. We've fought before, but it was really bad this time. It felt more real. I know we're done for... for good." His voice breaks a little bit and so does my heart because now he's shaking a little bit and I know he's crying again.

I don't know what to do. That's not me. I always know what to do. But not lately.

We sit there together in silence for a really long time. A million things are running through my head and I can't focus on one.

The fact that they've broken up is crazy. I mean, those two are like, the schools power couple, as corny as it sounds.

I know I can't blame myself for this, because it honestly sounds like Nini has been thinking of ending things anyway. I mean, not like she'd mentioned anything to me about it. Just like she never mentioned anything about leaving for YAC. It's funny. She's always been one of my closest friends, but I guess things have changed recently. Not just with her. With everyone. Maybe it's me. Whatever. I've been better off more on my own anyway.

****
March 14th

Ricky left late last night, and I had fallen asleep not long after he'd gone. The next day was Friday, and the last day before spring break. I turned my phone back on but ignored all my messages and notifications.

When I arrived at school that morning, Nini was waiting by my locker. "Hey Liz," she says normally. Nothing seems to be bothering her.

"Hey..." I say cautiously as I open my locker and grab a notebook. "How... how are you doing? I heard about you and Ricky."

She exhales. "I'm fine, really. I mean, Ricky and I... it was time. But can we just talk about something else?"

"Oh." I say, closing the door. "Yeah, sorry."

"You're good." We start walking together down the hall to our math class. "Anyway, where we're you at rehearsals yesterday?"

My stomach drops a little. "Actually, I haven't told Miss Jen yet, but I decided I'm quitting."

"What!" She says, clearly surprised. "No! You can't quit!"

"Yes I can. I was only ensemble. My part can be easily replaced." I can be easily replaced.

"Okay. Well, I'm not even going to talk you out of it, because I know how it feels to want to quit something that everyone expects you to love."

I get that she was only trying to be supportive, but her choice of wording annoyed the hell out of me.

"Don't try to compare my situation to yours. You and me are totally different. I do love musicals, and acting and singing. It's just Miss Jen and the fact that nobody believes in me that's making me quit! And I'm actually upset about it! You, you're just quitting because you don't wanna do it anymore."

She turns to me, clearly shocked about how I went off on her. I was too. I don't even recognize myself. Who am I, actually speaking up for myself?

"That's not fair and you know it. How dare you say that none of us believe in you? Me, Gina, Ashlyn, everybody have supported you in every aspect. We've always been there for you."

"That's not true! We all know I deserved better than ensemble this year and none of you cared to even ask me about it! Instead you were too worried about yourselves! You all see me as lesser in every single way and I'm tired of it. Some friends you are."

"I—"

Nini's response gets cut off by Gina, who comes out of nowhere and grabs my arm.

"Ow!" I exclaim, yanking away.

"Elizabeth! Stop. Have you seen this?"

She flashes her phone in front of me. "It's trending. I'm so sorry."

What I'm looking at— a Twitter thread by Percy. About me. And it is, in fact, trending. I haven't seen it since my phones been off.

"Shit. What the fuck?"

I give her the phone back after reading. I can't stand seeing all the comments. I open my own phone to my singing Instagram and find so many bad comments.

Wow. CAN'T believe I ever supported this girl

What a liar

She totally does look like a whore

I shut that off too. I can't believe this. This can't be happening.