Is This the Right Way?

20

My body starts to shake. The tears start to flow. Hard and fast, like a tidal wave flushing through me. I don't see Carla laying there. I see a poor little girl. A pale face. A dull frown. A sleeping creature. What I see isn't Carla. What I see is a monster. My sadness soon turns into anger. Why would someone want to make another person do this? What pleasure does it give people, to make fun of someone? To make an innocent teenager, just 14 years of age, want to die? Do people really find joy in making someone turn into this? Into what I see in front of me? Into this dull, almost lifeless creature?
I make my way across the room. The cold, too-bright room. I take a seat in the hard plastic chair next to the bed. Im staring at her the whole time. I reach out to touch her hand. Her hand that's usually so warm, now feels so cold, so lifeless. I hold onto it, like the time at summer camp when she almost feel off the boardwalk into the water. I held on tight then, and I'm holding on tight now. Her small little fingernails are still painted a chiped coat of lilac. She painted them two weeks ago to go with her dress for the school play. Just two weeks ago, she was standing on the stage, keeping a low profile as a member of a small little mission band. Now she's laying here, unaware of me.
There so many tubes attached to her. So many machines. Little beeps run through my ears at every second. Her mom leaves to go get some dinner for us, and it's just me and Carla. My eyes start to sting with the saltiness of my tears. This cant be real I think. In a few minutes, she gonna jump up and scream "gotcha!"
She doesn't.
I look at her.
"Carla," I find myself speaking out loud "Listen to me. You need to come back. I need you here. Your mom does too. So does your dad, and alex, and everyone else back at school. Everyone is so worried about you..." My voice is starting to crack from tears and anger. "I NEED YOU HERE, I NEED YOU HERE, IN MY LIFE CARLA. YOU CANT JUST LEAVE LIKE THIS!" I find myself shouting, and in a failed attempt, I just place my head next to her arm and start crying. Everything comes out, all my emotions. Sadness, fear anger, disgust, everything, and anything. I'm inturruped by a loud pitched beeeeeeeeeeep.