Pretending In Style

01

"Dude!" Kyle sat down the cafeteria table, with a wrinkled paper held a little too aggressively in his hand, "Mind telling me what the fuck is this?"

Kyle was referring to the piece of paper in hand, displaying a drawn picture of him and Stan being.. affectionate towards each other. It gave a chance for the other people sitting on that table to get a look at it, which Kyle is now starting to regret, considering how annoying Cartman and Kenny can be.

"What the fuck." Stan asked, well what he said was a question, but he really wasn't asking, just observing, "I don't have anything to do with this, Kyle!"

"Okay, just tell me why there's so many drawings of us doing.. this-?" The anger slightly washed a way when Kyle learnt Stan wasn't a part of this weird, fucked up thing that was going on.

"Pfft. Stan and Kyle are totally having gay sex!"

"Shut up Cartman!" Both boys screamed at him, almost in instinct, then they told Kenny to shut up too, since he wasn't exactly trying to stiffen his laughs ever since Kyle sat down with that piece of paper.

Stan grabbed the paper from the table and started to look at it, almost like he was examining it, "Dude, who drew this?"

"I dunno, some Asian girls were spreading these around." Kyle frowned in discomfort. He hated getting a lot of attention, and if he knew anything about this school, it was that words spread fast. As soon as lunch ended everyone would probably know about this mess.

Kenny stopped laughing as soon as he heard Kyle's response, fixing his parka before replying, "Asian girls? Dude, you two are the next Tweek and Craig!"

Stan still sharply held the piece of paper in his hands, as brush crept up on his cheeks. Because of anger. Anger. Anger was the reason, obviously,

"This isn't even accurate. No way am I that tall, nor is your hair straight." Stan started to correct the drawing.

"Nor is Stan straight." A mumble and a laugh was heard from Kenny and then Cartman when he heard the joke.

Stan and Kyle glared at them, then Stan continued, "Why did they make you so tiny? You're like.. a millimeter shorter than me."

"Huh? They've drawn his penis-?" Cartman stood up and leaned over to see for himself, "Aww, he meant height.."

"Shut up Cartman!"

"Fuck you Kyle!"

"STAN! KYLE! STAN AND KYLE!"

Stan's head snapped and Kyle's head perked up as they tried to detect who the voice belonged to. Butters' sat down the table, next to Kenny, as he took off a part of his parka to showcase the grin on his face.

"Look what I saw!" Butters' slammed two pieces of paper on the table.

"Dude, weak!" Kyle grabbed them from the table and crumbled them into a ball, "Cartman, did you do this?!"

Cartman stopped laughing, wiping the tears from his eyes, "No, I'm obviously a better artist than this. Why would I waste my artistic talent on an alcoholic and a jew!?"

Kyle usually would've told him to shut up, he just stared down the table, like he was refusing to look up. Stan was staring at him too, as if he was trying to understand what he was thinking. Trying to read his mind.

"Let's just go ask Tweek and Craig what to do!" Stan stood up. Kyle was looking so worried, all Stan wanted to do was to make him feel better, more relieved. That's what best friends do, right? Make their best friend feel better.

"Good idea, Stan." He smiled in distress, he was really worried. Really scared. Seriously considering to beat those Asian girls up.
Or black mail them. Whichever is easier.

Kyle grabbed the wrinkled paper and started to tear it up into tiny pieces, "Let's just go to Tweek Bros, after school. Both Tweek and Craig are bound to be there."

"Aww are you two going on a date after school?"

"Shut up, Cartman!"