The Mercy of Birds

CHAPTER 15: SHOW ME HOW TO LIVE

CHAPTER 15
SHOW ME HOW TO LIVE

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The stack of chocolate bars deliberately arranged above one another was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. It was sloping though, there were six of them and the taller the piece the more it was teetering on the edge, heeling to a precarious angle that threatened to collapse like the Pisa. Most of the events that passed her by in life were vague montages of dulled senses and wasted words that never could really leave her lips, but she was sure of one thing today, that she had piled them up last night into a very neat column, obsessing over every parallel inch that wasn't flush or smoothly cut while her mind mulled over the sessions she had with her little brother, the one that had given her all of this confection, which once could only exist in her dreams. Little brother.

She hadn't done this. She didn't remember trying to tear down her own tower, but no one else was here to take away his gift from her. The alarm hadn't rung yet so it couldn't be the nurse. It must have all been her fault. She must have knocked it over while she was asleep. It was her fault.

"Will you go with him? Yes, I think you should."

Clementine jerked in surprise at the voice and snapped her head to see the sinister woman with the blackened pool of blood for eyes standing on the corner of her small room. She sat in an upright position and shuffled back against the headboard, dragging her blanket along as if a shield to protect her from the threat, but the woman just stood there like she could see her frightened figure even if she had no gaze.

"Go away! I already did what you wanted me to!" Clementine yelled at her but it only garnered her a smile from the woman.

"Did you ever find out what the lyrics mean, Clementine?" she asked with a hint of taunting in her shrilling voice.

"I said go away!"

"Well, you already know the answer. That boy was anemic, wasn't he? You would've known because you drank his blood. You know what it tasted like."

"No! You're not real! You're not real!" she covered her ears with her hands but it was no use. It was as though the ghastly woman was speaking from within her.

"Oh, honey, I'm very real because you made me real. I made my mark in the world when you named me the voice inside your head, when you blamed me for killing your father and the boy, but I have you know, we are not actually separate. I'm not the abominable side of you. I am you. We are one. If I'm evil and so are you. I didn't make you do it. You made you do it." She slowly lifted her hand and pointed a finger with a grotesquely long nail at her. Her movement was gentle and unearthly, graceful in a way the most lightweight drape would be carried by the wind, yet when it was finally suspended in the air, crimson liquid trickled down torrentially from the fold of her palm, staining the linoleum floor under her feet.

"You haven't been able to think for yourself. You are always numb to your senses. So let me make this decision for you. I want you to finish the job, because deep down that's what you also want, isn't it? I know you better than anyone. You're a monster who wants to kill your entire family, that's what you are. So go with him and you can hack his neck when he is asleep." The blood pooled quickly, pervading over the bright space with its contrasting redness.

A sob broke from Clementine's mouth as the contents of her stomach threatened to spill out from the nauseating sight. The metallic stench was muddled with a putrid reek that made her gag.

"You know he thinks about it often. He wants you to kill him. He wonders why you didn't just kill your entire family when you had the chance. They were kids, they would listen to you when you told them to sit down and just hold tight when you stab them. Sweet brothers, the pain would not last. It will be all over soon. Your mother would put up a fight, of course, but it would be worth the hassle because you knew she deserved it."