Cognitive Dissonance

Chapter 14: Robin

It's a robin.

Jason tossed and turned on his bed, finding it difficult to sleep. To think he was so sleepy earlier seemed hilarious. He couldn't believe he just told her everything he purposely kept from her. And now, he's regretting listening to that song. It literally suggested it's alright if he gave things a try. So he did. He tried to tell his side of the story.

He found out that the storytelling part was easy. What he didn't expect was the amount of self-reproach he will feel after sharing. He realized, he made a big mistake. He betrayed himself.

Rachel too, tossed and turned on her bed, finding it difficult to sleep. She couldn't believe Jason just told her things she knew he'd rather keep to himself. She was happy, in a way, that he trusted her enough with those secrets.

She didn't really have friends growing up. The only people who trusted her was her mom and herself. So Jason is probably a record holder now. He's the only non-family member in the list of people who shared confidences with her.

Yet, even if she was happy for herself, she can't say the same for him. She always thought he was a nice kid who just happened to have a foul mouth. But Jason, yet again, proved her otherwise at the next opportunity that came.

Sure she still think him nice. This time however, she knows that his crude behavior is a product of something greater than what one can see on the surface. He was a damaged person and probably still is.

"Take a guess," Jason challenged. He even offered his left hand to her so she can get a better look. She casually held it in hers which made his insides give a funny turn, notwithstanding the fact that the gesture was anticipated. 

With her delicate fingers, she pried his, so she can study the image properly. Not that she knew many birds. But she has looked up a few when she was deciding on what she wanted to be inked on her skin.

It took her under three minutes before she gave up. She knows it should have been easy considering the reddish-orange color on the chest part. It's a dead giveaway for a word she knows but is at the tip of her tongue.

"I give up," she said frowning as she placed his hand on the table but not quite letting it go. "Tell you what, if you figure it out, you just might get to know the reason behind my choosing it," he propositioned, moving his index finger to give her an unarticulated push.

The gesture wasn't lost on Rachel. This actually made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She realized she was still holding his hand and if she didn't know any better, to an outsider, it suggests the kind of intimacy between them that doesn't exist.

In an attempt to hide her budding embarrassment, she casually pulled her hand back and responded with put-on nonchalance. "Take out the 'might' then I'll give it another shot," she countered in her proposal.

A devious smile showed on Jason's face at her suggestion. There are two things he can think of which might be the reason behind her boldness. One, she has always been brazen but she didn't have a lot of opportunity to show it. Or two, he has rubbed off on her and now he's being served his own medicine.

Not in a million lifetimes will he admit it, but Jason preferred the latter. He decided it was okay to be served his own medicine if Rachel Roth was doing it. He doesn't know what it is that's different when it comes to her but there's something akin to feeling safe. A feeling of knowing that he can be vulnerable and trust that his secret will be guarded well in her keeping.