The Good Side of Me

Chapter Ten

The next morning, we wake up early and we're packing for the airport. I get out of the shower and my phone dings. I check it and notice that the appointment we requested for Tuesday at noon to view a house has been accepted.
           
"Hey Anth, we got that appointment on Tuesday to check out that house that I like," I tell him eagerly.
           
"Which one was that again?" He asks me.
           
"The one you think is too big," I say and roll my eyes.
           
"Oh, that one. We'll go look at it baby," he rolls his eyes and kisses me. "Anything to keep you happy," he adds, and I feel myself blush. Will that ever stop happening?
           
We're all dressed, packed and ready to go. We say our goodbyes to Jared, he can't come since he has to work, so he's going to drive his parent's car back for them. Anthony drags our bags downstairs, and we load everything in the car and head off.
           
Melissa is documenting every second of the limo ride on her Snapchat, I can only imagine what she'll be like when we get on the plane. I ask the driver if we can stop for iced coffee and donuts and Anthony rolls his eyes at me.
           
"Shut up Anth, have I ever walked on that plane without iced coffee and donuts?" I say.
           
"No, you haven't, and Mike has never once come without some either, so you're just being greedy," Anthony says and laughs. I roll my eyes at him, and he kisses my head.
           
"You can have all the iced coffee and donuts you want honey, don't listen to him," Karen says, and I stick my tongue out at Anthony.
           
"Mom, stop loving my boyfriend more than me," Anthony jokes.
           
We pull up to the plane and unload our luggage. Mike comes out to talk to us for a few minutes and we introduce him to Anthony's parents then we board the plane. The flight to Santa Barbara only takes twenty minutes and once we land, I look out and notice Anthony's grandpa standing there. I'm assuming he brought their passports. Anthony asks Mike if he can get off for a few minutes to say hello, and he tells us we have ten minutes. Anthony gets up to get off and I stay seated, hoping he won't mind.
           
"Hey, come with me," Anthony says. So much for that.
           
I don't know why, but I just have this gut feeling that he doesn't like me. We walk down the steps and head over towards him. Anthony reaches for my hand, but I quickly grab my phone and hope he doesn't notice how deliberate that was. I really think he doesn't agree with our relationship.
           
"Hi grandpa," Anthony says and hugs him.
           
"Hi son," Randy replies warmly as he wraps Anthony in a hug. Maybe he isn't homophobic after all.
           
"Grandpa, you remember Blake," Anthony urges.
           
"Yes, hello," Randy says, barely looking at me. Or maybe he is. I'm so uncomfortable and anxious. I've never wanted to remove myself from a situation so badly before.
           
"Hi," I say awkwardly.
           
Karen comes over and thanks her father for bringing their passports. They quickly say their goodbyes and we board the plane again. I let out an audible sigh as I sit down and buckle my seatbelt. Anthony notices.
           
"Hey, are you okay?" He asks, taking my hand in his and squeezing it.
           
"Yeah, sorry, I'm fine," I tell him.
           
"He's probably uncomfortable being around grandpa, I mean he is an asshole," Melissa chimes in. Oh God, here we go. Karen stares at her in equal amounts of disbelief and embarrassment and Anthony gets defensive.
           
"What the hell is wrong with you Mel? He isn't an asshole," Anthony snaps at her.
           
"Dude, he's the most homophobic person I've ever met. Why are you defending him?" Melissa says and rolls her eyes. Anthony's eyes widen. Maybe he truly didn't see it, and now I can't help but feel sorry for him. I think he has his grandpa placed on a pedestal.
           
"Melissa, he is not," Karen says, she sounds so hurt. "He has not said one negative thing about your brother. How can you sit there and say that about your grandfather?" She adds.
           
"Guys open your eyes. He didn't have to say anything negative he makes it pretty obvious by the way he treats Blake," Melissa retorts. She is an incredibly observant person and she's not shy about her observations apparently.
           
All eyes are on me, and I suddenly feel very uncomfortable. Even more so because my parents are here, and my mother looks like she's about to chime in in defense mode. I grab my headphones and go to slide them over my head, but Anthony stops me.
           
"Has he said anything to you?" Anthony demands.
           
"No, he hasn't." He stares at me like he doesn't believe me. "I'm serious Anth, he hasn't," I urge.
           
"Do you feel uncomfortable around him?" He asks. He looks so hurt at this point I can't bring myself to say yes.
           
"No, of course not," I lie.
           
"Anthony he wouldn't even look at Blake when he said hello to him. After you forced him to, I should mention. I'm just saying," Melissa says, and I could kill her right now. Anthony goes to say something, but I interrupt him.
           
"I'm really tired and I have a headache, can we please just drop this?" I beg. I can tell Anthony isn't done with the conversation, but he reluctantly nods his head. I put my headphones on, and I sleep the whole way home.
           
Finally, we arrive at my parent's house. My mother called Rosalita when we landed and asked her to get two rooms ready, so when she sees the car pull up, she rushes out to help with our bags.
           
Karen, Jim and Melissa stand in the driveway, staring up in absolute astonishment at the size of my parent's house. Anthony and I just laugh.
           
"Anthony did the exact same thing the first time he saw it," I tell them and laugh.
           
We head inside and my mother and Rosalita get them situated in their rooms. Melissa is already exploring and loving every second of it.
           
"Any dinner requests Mi Hijo?" Rosalita asks me once we're all settled.
           
"Anything is fine with me Rosa, thank you," I tell her and smile.
           
We've been sitting on the couches in the living room talking for over an hour now and I'm exhausted. I gave it my best effort, but I finally gave in and fell asleep. I stir when Anthony picks me up to take me upstairs. He makes his way to my room and gently places me down on my bed. He unbuttons my jeans and slides them off.
           
"What are you doing?" I ask and smile, my voice full of sleep.
           
"I'm just taking your jeans off, go back to sleep you're not about to get lucky, I'm too tired," Anthony says, and I laugh.
           
Anthony crawls in bed and lays on his side, facing me. I turn so I'm facing him, our faces gently touching. I place my hand on his cheek. Something about it is so gentle and loving, I can tell from the look in his eyes that it makes all his problems go away for a second.
           
"B?" Anthony says.
           
"Yeah?"
           
"Are you sure you aren't uncomfortable around my grandpa?" He asks me. I knew that was bothering him, but I should be honest.
           
"I'm not uncomfortable, I just don't think he likes me very much," I tell him.
           
"I don't think that's true. I think he's just protective and simply needs to get to know you," Anthony says.
           
"Okay," I say and smile. I kiss him lightly, our lips barely touching. "Turn over, I want to cuddle you," I tell him.
           
"Oh my God, what did I do to deserve this miracle?" Anthony jokes. He turns over so his back is facing me, and I pull him in close and wrap my arms around him. We both fall asleep almost instantly.
           
We don't budge all night, and when I wake up, I realize it's almost eight o'clock the next morning. "Shit." I mutter to myself it's been a long time since I've gotten a good night sleep like that. My body must have needed it. I get up and pad over to the bathroom, quietly so I don't wake Anthony up. It's no use, when I come back out, he's sitting up, his back resting against the headboard smiling at me.
           
"Come here," he says grinning. I know what he wants.
           
"Good morning," I say as I climb onto his lap. Our lips meet and his hands rest on my hips.
           
"Boys! Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes we need to get going soon," my mother calls from the other side of the door and we both roll our eyes. I hear her turn the doorknob.
           
"No, don't come in. We'll be down in a few minutes," I yell to her, and she laughs and walks away.
           
"Do you think God does this to straight people?" Anthony says and we both laugh.
           
We quickly get dressed and head down to the kitchen. Rosalita has made a huge breakfast and my stomach growls, realizing I never ate last night. We sit down and say good morning to everyone, grabbing food in the process.
           
"You two must be starving. I called you for dinner, but you didn't budge," my mother says.
           
"Starving," I manage to spit out with a mouth full of eggs.
           
I eat until I'm uncomfortable, I have to try and ignore it because we have to leave soon. I head upstairs to go have a shower. My mind is racing, steering towards dark thoughts. I can't stand to have this sit in my stomach any longer, it feels like an anchor, weighing down my every movement. I run the shower, and I go over to the toilet and sink to my knees. Why the hell am I like this? I ask myself as I shove my fingers to the back of my throat. I tell myself I'll just get rid of enough to make me feel not as full, but I know that's a lie. Once I start, I can't stop myself.
           
Suddenly, I see Anthony standing in the doorway. How the hell did I manage to forget to lock the door?
           
"Woah, hey. No, come on. You're not doing this," he says as he grabs me and pulls me to my feet.
           
"No, stop it, I have to. You don't understand," I cry. I wriggle to get free, but he holds me tight, and I sob even more when his arm puts pressure on my stomach trying to hold me still.
           
"Baby. Baby, stop. Listen to me, you have to relax, okay?" He tries to console me, but it's no use. Not when I'm in this frame of mind.
           
"Jesus Christ Anthony, is he okay?" I hear my father ask.
           
Finally, I stop struggling and I start to calm down. I eventually get tired. He's stronger than me, I know that, but I still try to fight every time. Anthony grabs a cloth and wipes my face and hands.
           
"Anthony, how often does this happen?" My father demands.
           
"It depends, once a week maybe. It's been happening less. We're going to take a quick shower," Anthony tells him, urging him to leave.
           
He places me on the counter, and I slowly take my clothes off. I'm exhausted and he can tell so he picks me up and I wrap my legs around him. Anthony makes sure the water is warm before stepping in.
           
We finish up and get out and all I want to do is sleep. We have to get ready to go though, we're already behind schedule. Anthony pulls out clothes for both of us and I slowly get dressed. Having an episode, as my doctor likes to call it, exhausts me to the point that I feel as though I could sleep for days. Along with the exhaustion, comes the guilt.
           
"You deserve to be with someone that isn't broken like me," I say quietly. It's barely audible, but he hears me. This is the least favourite part of this for Anthony. I know he hates when I talk like this, but it's inevitable, I simply can't control it.
           
"Nope, I don't want to hear that. I love you," Anthony tells me.
           
"Why haven't you left? You don't deserve this," I demand.
           
"I haven't left because I belong with you," he says as he takes my face in his hands and gently kisses me. "I love you. Now, let's go see our cottage, okay? You can sleep on the way," he tells me.