Dear Diary... Nosipho's Life

Dear Diary 33... Unexpected Phone Call

That whole December was probably the worst December ever, my stomach was big, I was always indoors while Tumi was having the time of her life in Johannesburg, but I was happy for her, she deserves to be happy and have fun... Ashley on the other hand was also having the time of his life but he came and took me to my 6 months’ doctor’s appointment and his father sent me presents and money from Australia for Christmas. My mother invited Ashley to have Christmas lunch with us even though I didn’t want him to come, my mom felt sorry for him saying no one deserved to be alone during Christmas, so on Christmas he and Tumi slept at my house but he slept on the couch.

On the 31st he was in Durban with his friends and I was home with my mom and Ntando. Schools were about to re-open and I had to buy new school uniform, mine didn’t fit anymore, so I bought uniform with the money Ashley gives me, I wasn’t excited at all for the re-opening of schools, I knew everyone’s eyes were going to be on me including the teachers, people are going to ask me 1000 questions about my baby daddy, about the pregnancy and they are gonna want to touch my stomach

Today was the first day of school and it was everything I expected, during lunch people would want to touch my stomach, ask questions and that pissed Tumi off because we hardly saw each other during December, she wanted us to be alone and talk about what went down during December, after school on our way home Tumi was telling me about the parties she went to and places Tumisho took her to

Me: Friend you are so lucky to have a guy like Tumisho

Tumi: I know, he’s a great guy

Me: He’s also lucky to have someone like you

Tumi: Thank you friend

My phone rang

Tumi: Who is it?

Me: Ashley

Tumi: I will see you tomorrow at school

Me: Okay bye

Tumi walked away and I answered the phone

Me: Hello

Ashley: Hey Nosi, how are you?

Me: I’m good

Ashley: Where are you?

Me: I’m on my way home why?

Ashley: I wanted to see you?

Me: What for?

Ashley: I want to apologise for my behaviour

Me: You can do that on the phone

Ashley: Nosipho I miss you

I just kept quiet, I wasn’t expecting that from him

Ashley: Hello, are you still there?

Me: I have to go Ashley, talk some other time

Ashley: Before you hang up please promise me that you will unblock me on every social media that you blocked me on

Me: I will think about it

Ashley: Thanks, bye

Me: Bye

After that phone call I had mixed emotions, when I got home I changed and made food for myself, then I sat down and ate, while eating I received a message from Ashley

[Ashley: I still and will always love you, you will always be my Nosipho]

I replied

[Me: I also still love you and will always love you, you are the father of my daughter and will always be part of my life, but you broke my trust and smashed my heart into 1000 pieces when I needed you the most, it’s best if we focus on the baby and leave the rest to the universe]

After I sent that message I started crying, I was sad because I still love that guy with my body, soul and everything, but he hurt me so much, I just can’t allow myself to go through that again, I have so much to focus on this year, applying at varsity, having a healthy baby and my studies.